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Firefighters Turned Away From Exclusive Nightclub Blaze

theonion.com — There was no way I could let them in dressed like that," said bouncer Ken Hess, who asked emergency personnel to step aside while he allowed a group of good-looking, scantily clad women directly into the blaze.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 23, 2008

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34 Comments

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  • Unspoken359, on 07/23/2008, -4/+36"While the firefighters were reportedly saddened by the sight of 63 people burning to death, on the way back to the firehouse they agreed the club was probably just full of stuck-up bitches anyway."

    HAHHAHA That sentence right there made my day.
  • KokomoNYC, on 07/22/2008, -2/+15I'm starting to smell onion as soon as I read the submission healines. Once, I was fooled into thinking Sean Penn actually wrote an angry letter because someone had taken the "seanpenn@gmail.com" address, but no more.
  • mastazed, on 07/23/2008, -3/+14EVERY FRIKKIN TIME!!!!! DAMN YOU ONION!!! DAMN YOU!!!
  • Frejesal, on 07/23/2008, -2/+11I stared at the headlines going WTF..then I realized..
    Looks like the Onion finally got me.
  • hlund05, on 07/22/2008, -1/+5Same here...knew it was the Onion as soon as I read the headline
  • Conrey, on 07/23/2008, -0/+4no, because that comic isn't funny and has no punchline.
  • Naskin, on 07/23/2008, -3/+6That bouncer should be fired. I'm guessing he's on the hot seat right now.
  • ToiletGhost, on 07/23/2008, -2/+5not nearly as much as apple

    iphone iphone iphone iphone
    now available iphone
    the $400 phone with the AWESOME at&t areas
    the phone that's extremely dangerous to drop now with NO rubber to grip to your hand!
  • troyfoley, on 07/23/2008, -1/+3This isn't a news site, and this article is in the appropriate section as well.
  • susn, on 07/23/2008, -2/+4why so many onions lately?
  • diceau, on 07/23/2008, -1/+3I realized it was the Onion within 18 words that time! Good for me.
  • MacEnvy, on 07/23/2008, -0/+2You've been posting that everywhere. Reported for spamming, douchebag.
  • renegade334, on 07/24/2008, -0/+1Same here, usually I can smell The Onion from a mile away, but this time...
  • zoethebitch, on 07/23/2008, -0/+1The club is named Tech Noir?

    Terminator FTW.
  • chetanthaker, on 07/23/2008, -1/+1I thought chics dugg men in uniforms !!
  • PabloPalmeri, on 07/25/2008, -0/+0This reminds me of my favorite onion news story.

    Roof On Fire Claims Lives Of 43 Party People
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39024
  • Coffeedemon, on 07/23/2008, -2/+2They're not paying Digg. They don't need to - they've been around forever and aren't going away.
    This is a problem with lack of originality and with people just digging whatever they find funny. Someone finds a good onion article and you can bet 50 more will submit their favourites. As long as they are properly categorized in comedy who cares. Stop by, have a laugh (or not) and then move along.
  • qwertydvorak, on 07/23/2008, -1/+1i to this day, even though it came from the onion, believe that burned pot roast causes domestic violence.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29751
  • gilbitron, on 07/23/2008, -1/+1I almost fell for that one. Feel a bit disappointed now.
  • new2u, on 07/25/2008, -1/+1You took the words right out of my mouth Troyfoley.

  • CrazyDEX, on 07/24/2008, -1/+1OK, if cracked and there relentless (but mostly funny) lists can be submitted 3 times a day.... The onion should be just as acceptable since it actually consists of original content instead of regurgitated pop culture.
  • HomerHank, on 07/24/2008, -0/+0I totally thought it was real. I love the Onion.
    -Homer
    www.justscratchit.com
  • zephonith, on 07/23/2008, -1/+1Fire in the Disco! Fire in the Disco! Fire in the... Taco Bell!
  • mdnghtblue, on 07/23/2008, -3/+2seconded. it's sad that this is even supposed to be a news site.
  • grey580, on 07/23/2008, -2/+1Don't they know that hot chicks love firefighters.
    Besides the firefighters can use their hoses to cool the girls down.
  • mdodsworth, on 07/23/2008, -2/+1I heard somebody say 'BURN BABY BURN', DISCO INFERNO....
  • grantmoore3d, on 07/23/2008, -2/+1Okay, enough with the onion submissions already...
  • MysticKatDaddy, on 07/23/2008, -3/+2kinda makes you wish it really happened in a wierd sort of way
  • ileftfark, on 07/23/2008, -5/+4OK, how much is the Onion paying? There's been stories from them from *2001* on the frontpage recently. I want a cut. Anyone else?
  • grneye53, on 07/23/2008, -3/+1WHATS THIS ANOTHER "IT TECH" GUARDING THE DOOR !
  • shutaro, on 07/22/2008, -6/+4I totally thought this was real...
  • Duositex, on 07/23/2008, -6/+4I hate the onion. I just absolutely hate it. And I hate it even more that digg has just become a giant billboard of huge money-making websites like cracked, break, onion, huff.. etc. etc. etc. I used to visit digg because people found the weirdest crap on the internet and stuck it here. Now it's just regurgiated blog of a blog of a blog junk. So damn boring and insubstantial.
  • retoretoreto, on 07/23/2008, -2/+0Nice article, and nice digg-history lesson:
    http://digg.com/tech_news/Sean_Penn_Demands_To_Kno ...
  • Awspire, on 07/23/2008, -6/+1An Onion parody. As if somebody would ever try to turn away a person with an axe in hand.

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