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Every Episode of 'House' Ever

cracked.com — Have you ever wanted to write award-winning television, don't own a computer, typewriter, or pen? Well, you're in luck! Just follow this simple guide, selecting scenes at random from within each section and rearranging them on a big board.

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 22, 2008

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  • tumples, on 11/22/2008, -21/+618House is awesome, but this is also very funny and true.

    I like House
  • ScottMcIntyre, on 11/22/2008, -4/+433Since when did the Wicked Disney Dame in the thumbnail become a colleague of Dr Gregory House?! :-)
  • AlanFang, on 11/22/2008, -24/+404THE PATIENT POOPS A LUNG
  • VagueRant, on 11/22/2008, -3/+353It must be Lupus.
  • NeoCortex, on 11/22/2008, -0/+251It's never Lupus.
  • uneqee, on 11/22/2008, -9/+244Yeah but I still love it
  • scalded, on 11/22/2008, -10/+216HAHA YEAH BRO LET'S GET NOSTALGIC ABOUT THINGS WE READ 20 SECONDS AGO
  • inactive, on 11/22/2008, -4/+136FADE TO AWESOME
  • goeric, on 11/22/2008, -10/+141True but we care not, House is amazing.
  • doiveo, on 11/22/2008, -2/+123When I watched the first episode I thought two things. 1) This is going to be a very repetitive show. 2) The number of hypochondriacs is going to bloom. Turned out neither was as bad as I thought.
  • Bega, on 11/22/2008, -4/+124Oh would you look at that it's lupus,
  • Stormwern, on 11/22/2008, -8/+124The show has a simple format, which makes it even more impressive how they keep creating unique and facinating episodes, which in turn makes the writer of this article even more jealous that he posesses no creative talents beyond being a smartass. Or so I would guess..
  • TheR3dMenace, on 11/22/2008, -0/+110You think thats bad? Remember the time that...
  • regression, on 11/22/2008, -5/+115it's never lupus.
  • OJXs, on 11/22/2008, -7/+113Its never Lupus.
  • joegibes, on 11/22/2008, -1/+98IT'S NOT LUPUS
  • TwoKill, on 11/22/2008, -0/+95Spoiler alert for next week / season / years of House to come.
  • censorshipwreck, on 11/22/2008, -1/+87THAT is why you don't link images directly.
  • JanusTheDoorman, on 11/22/2008, -7/+93Short version:

    As a screenwriter, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
  • BelatedHero, on 11/22/2008, -2/+79I like Cuddy
  • Disgod, on 11/22/2008, -1/+76Schoolgirl Cuddy was remarkably awesome.
  • 12916studios, on 11/22/2008, -3/+71Actually, in episode 4x08...it IS Lupus.
  • leif77, on 11/22/2008, -0/+68Dammit, Mitch, you have lupus.
  • slothlovechunk, on 11/22/2008, -1/+68House would be boring, repetitive and tedious, without Hugh Laurie.

    (and that hot doctor who runs the hospital)
  • 12916studios, on 11/22/2008, -36/+102Buried for inaccuracy. A typical hour long TV show has 5-6 acts, House included.

    Plus, as a screenwriter, I am kind of offended. Screenwriting is the hardest form of writing one can undertake. Seriously, you go try writing a screenplay and actually having it become a film. There's a reason why there are hundreds of thousands of people trying to make it in to Hollywood, but only a few hundred actually doing so: screenwriting is very hard to do right. Breaking the artform down that far into something that makes its writers look like hacks is really quite pretentious, I must say.

    While I will admit, the show can be formulaic, that is how every episodic show is. I mean look at CSI for *****'s sake! As formulaic as House is, though, it is still reams better than CSI will ever hope to be.
  • Aeyar, on 11/22/2008, -3/+63What's most incredible is, despite how obviously predictable every aspect of the show is, I still love watching it... :-/
  • kmesp86, on 11/22/2008, -4/+63I POOPED A HAMMER
  • FelixDrylock, on 11/22/2008, -5/+63FADE TO AWESOME.
  • hurrayforschool, on 11/22/2008, -3/+59Cracked treads on thin ice. Someone could easily break down THEIR repetitive repertoire into a diagram just like this. Just saying... I like both House and Cracked.
  • sneaker98, on 11/22/2008, -1/+56We FINALLY have a case of Lupus.
  • diothar, on 11/22/2008, -3/+58LOUD NOISES
  • bluecc, on 11/22/2008, -5/+59Saying that you are a screenwriter and that screenwriting is the hardest form of writing is really quite pretentious, I must say.
  • Junrin, on 11/22/2008, -7/+59it's never lupus.
  • Quickstrike, on 11/22/2008, -0/+51I love how you can tell whether or not a possible cure will work just by looking at how much time has passed since the show started.

    "We found a cure!" "This will definitely do the trick!" /me looks at clock -- only 20 minutes into the show, this attempt will fail.
  • jenel, on 11/22/2008, -8/+58Dead Ringers did it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBda4wfFlp0
  • Falldog, on 11/22/2008, -3/+53I don't think there's anyone who didn't realize this a few episodes into the first season.
  • Xanias, on 11/22/2008, -4/+50I like turtles
  • inactive, on 11/22/2008, -3/+48I want to get Cuddy and Thirteen in a threesome...
  • DillN, on 11/22/2008, -0/+45I think he was just making a joke about a previous article about stealing cracked's articles and images.
  • thirdeyeopen, on 11/22/2008, -1/+451.Manatee picks idea ball
    2. Repeat until there is 22 minutes of material
  • TheKarmaPolice, on 11/22/2008, -0/+43Dammit, Mitch, you're an alcoholic.
  • jguy584, on 11/22/2008, -1/+44I agree, not that I am a writer or anything, but I can see how shows must follow a formula to keep going. All to often when a show tries to mix things up the viewer count drops. People want what they expect from a show, no one would watch house if they started diagnosing the flu or the chicken pox.

    On the other hand 12916, it is cracked, so chill out a bit.
  • SpeedSteamBoat, on 11/22/2008, -2/+44Since when do you have to hate something just to poke some fun at it?
  • Photonerd28, on 11/22/2008, -4/+46Could this formula be applied to family guy too?
  • 12916studios, on 11/22/2008, -3/+44I like Cuddy's boobs.
  • alpharaptor, on 11/22/2008, -2/+42a full 16 minutes after the first 'It's not Lupus.'. you couldn't even put an apostrophe in it? NeoCortex laid down a solid reply and you couldn't even get it right when you tried the same thing over fifteen minutes after he did if... shame, and FAIL.
  • nepidae, on 11/22/2008, -14/+53Its Never Lupus.
  • inactive, on 11/22/2008, -6/+45THE PATIENT POOPS A LUNG
  • oxymoron69, on 11/22/2008, -7/+43CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL! :-P
  • censorshipwreck, on 11/22/2008, -1/+36Woh! What's wrong alpharaptor? You got Lupus?
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