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238 Comments
- wilf_brim, on 10/16/2009, -1/+277Let me cut it down for you all who haven't read the article:
1-6) It's going to take more time and energy than you think.
7) You aren't getting any. Now or in the future.
Really, #7 is the only one that really matters. - eastwood24, on 10/15/2009, -2/+269This summer I helped a girl move and all I got was some Oatmeal cookies. I hate god damned outmeal cookies.
- hayden.evans, on 10/15/2009, -0/+211a more true article hasn't been written. women + moving = ***** HELL ON EARTH!
- ileftfark, on 10/16/2009, -2/+199#8 she tells you her boyfriend is gonna be so happy everything is in place for later that evening.
- reddikilowatt, on 10/16/2009, -0/+154You younger guys are all laughing at this, but believe me, some co-ed will bat her baby blue eyes and beg you to help her move... and your penis will just take over. It happened to me, but just once.
- TSK05, on 10/16/2009, -1/+144Department of redundancy department.
- blitzkriegpunk, on 10/16/2009, -0/+125"She's not deliberately lying to you on purpose."
- sgerwel1985, on 10/16/2009, -2/+124Moving in general blows. But helping a woman move for hours and not getting laid = the punch in the balls.
- centran, on 10/16/2009, -0/+113Forget all those reason. The only reason why you shouldn't help a girl move is because she will never return the favor(ie helping you move.. or #7 for that matter)
Guys will help you move because in cases like this it is, "do unto others as you would have do unto you" and if the person helping every has to move then they call in their favors from moving others. I guarantee you that if I helped a girl move(except for one really good friend) and then asked her to help me that she would laugh.
And don't give me that ***** ladies that you would becuase honestly think about it... females only help their girlfriends move and would never consider helping a guy move unless they where in a relationship with him or go way back and are close friends. A girl helping a casual male friend move is just not going to happen. - theanticrust1, on 10/16/2009, -0/+97I helped my girlfriend move once. Worst mistake of my life. We went to bed at 4am the day before (at my place), to wake up and get to her place by 6am to move all her stuff across town by 10am. I was informed that she was "pretty much packed" which turned out to mean nothing at all was packed. I carried all her ***** from her dorm (10th floor... BTW) out to her car. We got to her new apartment by around 3pm. And did she have boxes? No. I carried all her ***** in my arms out to her car. After all that, I leave her alone for a couple of hours until we go out to dinner that night. After a 60 dollar dinner that I payed for, she dumped me because I wanted to have a couple beers at the party we were supposed to go to that night.
tldr: This whole article is true, never help a girl move. In fact, break up with your girl if she is considering moving. Just in case. - suzannethetiger, on 10/16/2009, -0/+92If you're helping a girl move because you think it will get you laid, just should really just ask her first "Hey after I help you move, I'm getting laid right?" because your chances are about equal and the latter method will get you your answer much quicker.
- Meany123, on 10/16/2009, -1/+85OH MY GOD. Most accurate list ever posted on the Intertubes.
The only reason you should ever help a girl move is if she's your girlfriend, and you have no choice. And it's still awful, because she's going to act crazy the entire time.
Helping a non-girlfriend move is just stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. But you'll all still do it. I'll probably do it again. Brain don't work right when boobies are involved. Males are a weak species. :( - ParticleMan420, on 10/16/2009, -3/+83dugg for honesty
- inactive, on 10/16/2009, -0/+78"...with her boyfriend, who isn't you."
- Csaliture, on 10/16/2009, -1/+64at least she touched your balls
- ohplease, on 10/16/2009, -0/+58Being some girl's doormat has never gotten anyone sex ever.
- Csaliture, on 10/16/2009, -6/+62bitch
- PakoBedejo, on 10/16/2009, -2/+54That's what the butthole is for.
- gramathy, on 10/16/2009, -1/+52You may have been trying to be sarcastic but you totally nailed the last one.
- saranagati, on 10/16/2009, -3/+48hmm, so many things wrong with your post. first of all you made a sarcastic post however what you said is true. second of all you claim to be a girl. third is your nick stands for "Captain Awesome" however we all know women aren't allowed to be captains.
- cheerfulcynic, on 10/16/2009, -1/+45awww, how about if i promise sex up front?
- beachtrader, on 10/16/2009, -3/+47Sure.
Work gets done.
Whoops, that time of the month came early.
Thanks for all your help...maybe next time. - MrSteamTank, on 10/16/2009, -1/+43Wrong. I helped a girl move stuff and she helped me do the same when I needed it.
Well she is a lesbian. Maybe that doesn't count. 8P - Bobski, on 10/16/2009, -0/+41In my early twenties I helped a chick move for whom I had the hots for a very long time. I arrived to find a bunch of guys half stoned or drunk dragging things out of the house at a snail's pace. I jumped in, took control of the situation, organizing everything. I worked my tail off and had everything moved onto the truck and securely loaded in two hours. Before I got there the girl thought it would take all day.
She thanked me profusely for everything and added "if there's anything I could do for you.."
My in! "Well how about a date later?"
"I just got out of a relationship you know, that's why I'm moving. I don't think I'll be ready for some time."
..............................
^ That's the sound you couldn't hear as my balls shriveled. - mattyboy555, on 10/16/2009, -4/+45You should have head-butt her in the *****/uterus.
Either will do. - whatthefu, on 10/16/2009, -2/+43This article can pretty much be applied to when a woman asks you to help her do ANYTHING.
- theanticrust1, on 10/16/2009, -0/+36No, she can't be, hot lesbians are a lie by the media.
- llorxela, on 10/16/2009, -1/+37You forgot that you can't judge time.
- spamgasmic, on 10/16/2009, -1/+34It happened to me too. I came to my senses though when I got away from her eye of Sauron.
- mike23w, on 10/16/2009, -0/+32The direct approach. Genius.
- Onion575, on 10/16/2009, -2/+30A female? On my internet? No way...
- ducttape36, on 10/15/2009, -0/+27whats wrong with that?
- gmeluski, on 10/16/2009, -1/+28She's a big girl, she can use the yellow pages just like anybody else.
- jrackow, on 10/16/2009, -0/+26I had a very similar experience. My girlfriend told me that all her stuff was packed, and that almost literally meant nothing was packed. About 4 boxes were packed, and she had a moving truck full. I ended up marrying her.
- basickly, on 10/16/2009, -0/+25It's best to just burn the house and start over, imo.
- mishabear, on 10/16/2009, -0/+24So when are you moving? :D
- lemur, on 10/16/2009, -1/+25"I just got out of a relationship you know, that's why I'm moving. I don't think I'll be ready for some time."
When I dated a lot in college, I paid very careful attention to the way women behaved. One thing that a guy has to face up to quickly is that there is a huge gap between what women think, do, and say. If you want to be successful with women, you have to see past the lies just for the sake of finding one that is honest.
Not being ready for a relationship is one of many typical lies women tell instead of admitting that they aren't attracted to you. Admitting a lack of attraction scares many women for a number of reasons, one of the primary reasons being that it will curtail her ability to extract favors from you in the future (eg you are more likely to help her move again if you can somehow be made to believe that one day she'll be with you). These lies are more appealing short term solutions even though they have very negative long term consequences; for example, if you said "OK, I'll hang around for the next several months and ask you out later when you are 'ready,'" this will prompt her to have to invent another lie in order to get out of that situation. If you force her to invent too many lies, she'll eventually break down in an angry fit and finally tell you the truth (this is actually a fun way to torture dishonest people).
If she had been attracted to you, she would have been "ready" regardless of having just broken up or not. - yacks, on 10/16/2009, -0/+20I found fixing their computers get them in the mood though.. ;)
- Kibitz, on 10/16/2009, -4/+24Misogynistic internet articles make me feel better about my non-existant social/romantic life.
- pcr3, on 10/16/2009, -1/+21Article Excerpt {When she asks you if you'll help her move, what she's really saying is, "Will you pack up all of my belongings, drive me to my new apartment, and then unpack all of that ***** while I organize my bathroom medicine cabinet?"}
- capnawesome, on 10/16/2009, -37/+56Yep! All of us girls are incapable of driving large vehicles, judging how much ***** we have, or doing the least bit of physical work! Oh, and mostly, we just LOVE ***** with you guys ALL THE TIME! hehehe!
- saranagati, on 10/16/2009, -1/+20if she's a big girl she's probably going to have to use the yellow pages because she isn't likely to find any guys to help her move (at least none that aren't smaller than an average girl).
- mishabear, on 10/16/2009, -1/+20When I need help moving, I have guy friends to help with furniture, etc. My girlfriend CLEANED my old apartment for me when I was moving the crap out. That was more than enough repayment for me!
- mrgr8avill, on 10/15/2009, -6/+25Aww - you guys just aren't desparate enough!
- drdan, on 10/16/2009, -2/+20One good reason to help a girl move; to get her ass out of your place!
- selmer, on 10/16/2009, -0/+18that should be #1 on the list titled "the only reason why you should help a girl move"
- GorfTron, on 10/16/2009, -2/+19There is a difference between being sexually attractive and being helpful. One gets laid and the other is a friend. Women use this and men figure it out over time.
- Blydchyld, on 10/16/2009, -0/+17Find the emo and stab him in the soul.
- chicagojack, on 10/16/2009, -1/+17Fair trade. You and your hot girlfriend have a 3some with me, then I help you move
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