What is Digg?166 Comments
- mentallyinhell, on 05/16/2008, -3/+147"I'm a racist" usually works too.
- thebaron2, on 05/16/2008, -1/+129"I blame R. Kelly for Sept. 11. When the judge asked one prospective juror about his feelings regarding Kelly, he cryptically answered: "R. Kelly may have led the Taliban in attacking us on 9-11, but you can't prove it." You're right, we can't. In fact, we're fairly certain that no one has ever tried."
Ha! It's the new truther movement! - dvsbastard, on 05/16/2008, -3/+107"I enjoy urinating on minors..."
- Surferess, on 05/16/2008, -4/+79I think the woman who called him a "musical genius" would have to be kicked off for having bad taste.
- ahoyhoy, on 05/16/2008, -0/+66"I don't think I'll have a problem, your honor, except that he's a Negro. What?"
- silentb0b, on 05/16/2008, -3/+67i got picked for jury duty and was excused on the first question. I was asked - "Do i have any problems with the black man who was arrested for smuggling cocaine via his boat?" I answered - "No problems, all black people are drug dealers." I was then escorted out.
- inactive, on 05/16/2008, -0/+51Say what you will, jury duty can actually be pretty fun, so long as you don't have anything really pressing at work / school.
- mal1964, on 05/16/2008, -1/+49Prosecutor: Mr. Chappelle, what would it take to convince you that R. Kelly is guilty?
Dave Chappelle: Okay, I'd have to see a video of him singing "Pee On You," two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of my buddies and Neal taking notes, and R. Kelly's grandma to confirm his identity.
R. Kelly's Grandma: That's my Robert, always peeing on peopl - chrispeters, on 05/16/2008, -2/+37Have we really reached the stage where we have to tell people something is funny in the title?
- briangig, on 05/16/2008, -4/+37im 24 and still haven't been selected for jury duty...i'm starting to think my name isnt in the hat.
- Fozefy, on 05/16/2008, -0/+30"I'll change my vacation plans. Overeagerness to serve on the jury is a definite red flag to attorneys. When one man offered to rearrange a trip to see his parents, the prosecution bounced him for being star-struck."
Maybe he just doesn't like his parents? - inactive, on 05/16/2008, -4/+32What do you think? Could YOU be fair to R. Kelly?
- JackGrozny, on 05/16/2008, -0/+27I just bring along a copy of Mein Kampf.
- majorpayne27, on 05/16/2008, -0/+26In the end, they'll just end up finding people too dumb to get out of jury duty.
- thelastcivilian, on 05/16/2008, -2/+26So would "I'm friends with Pedobear, so..."
- ByteGuerilla, on 05/16/2008, -2/+26"GUILTY! THE ***** IS GUILTY!" - Uncle Ruckus (no relation)
- inactive, on 05/16/2008, -1/+24You wouldn't happen to be a registered sex offender, would you?
- TEHxINTERWEBS, on 05/16/2008, -1/+23Please call my mom When one juror failed to show up for service, deputies called his house and his mother answered. She told the court that she didn't know where her son was and that he hadn't been "right" since he was shot in the head a while back. The judge and attorneys agreed to let him off the hook.
Haha I wish my mom said that when my first job called me! - NikoKun, on 05/16/2008, -4/+25"Nature already had an age of [sexual] consent: Puberty."
While many might hate or be angered or disgusted by such a statement... It does make an odd kind of sense...
Our current moral values on such things, are actually quite recent in terms of history, and are based in odd modern religious values. Comparatively speaking anyway. - cathl, on 05/16/2008, -1/+22Mention that you're aware of jury nullification.
- wavesmachine, on 05/16/2008, -1/+20really?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmBRBUZ7UWc
how 'bout now? - dvsbastard, on 05/16/2008, -0/+18Same... It sure as hell beats being on trial...
- mikem94590, on 05/16/2008, -0/+17Sit there and twitch randomly.
- lisaawesome, on 05/16/2008, -0/+16My only problem with the black man is that he didn't share some of his product with me.
- darkmist, on 05/16/2008, -2/+18Who's R. Kelly?
- hfactor, on 05/16/2008, -0/+15That doesn't make "an odd kind of sense", that makes the only kind of sense. My father is a gynecologist, and everytime parents ask him "When is my [usually] daughter old enough to have sex?" he replies "When she wants to." Trying to suppress the natural development of teenagers leads to no good (and they'll do it anyway, just hide it from you).
- Flashman, on 05/16/2008, -0/+14So if you were arrested on a major charge, you'd prefer to be tried by a panel of homeless people and retirees?
- FizzanoMatrix, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1416.) Bring up anything having to do with Torreto's hard time for nearly beating a man to death.
- kablammoxerxis, on 05/16/2008, -5/+17Whole lotta crackers here ...
- hardcle, on 05/16/2008, -2/+14I served on a jury in Chicago for an auto accident case. During the selection process, a man wearing a priest's collar said he couldn't be fair because he had been involved in an auto accident. He was excused and quickly left the courtroom. I believed him at the time, but later it occurred to me that he was faking to get out of jury duty.
Jury duty is not so bad that you have to impersonate a priest in order to get out of it. - xtinamo, on 05/16/2008, -0/+12I agree! I did feel like a dork though when I went my first time excited and everyone else just looked pissed off.
- mal1964, on 05/16/2008, -1/+12Q--Have you formed or expressed an opinion as to the guilt or innocence of the defendant in this case? Yes
You're dismissed - jstem1994, on 05/16/2008, -0/+11I'll be 41 next month & haven't either.
- down4twenty, on 05/16/2008, -0/+11awful lot of honkies here.....
- Meekus, on 05/16/2008, -0/+11When I was younger, I hated the couple of times I was called for jury duty. Nowadays, I actually wouldn't mind being on a jury.
- xmizzbojanglesx, on 05/16/2008, -0/+10That earned you a place in the "controversial" category
- insomniac8400, on 05/16/2008, -5/+15This is *****, no one who has a job can serve a long jury trial. People shouldn't have to make excuses.
- PamalaLauren, on 05/16/2008, -0/+9I was 25 when I got my first summons. Just wait. Too bad I didn't get it a year or two ago, I would have loved to serve but now I'm a stay at home mom with a daughter with a disability so I'm let off the hook without having to show.
- Sil369, on 05/16/2008, -1/+9Funniest one there
- NikoKun, on 05/16/2008, -0/+7That wouldn't be very consenting then, would it?
- yingjai, on 05/16/2008, -0/+7"drip, drip, drip"
- sfrench, on 05/16/2008, -0/+7In California, they use both. One time I was called for two separate counties the same week because my driver's license was in one county, and my voter registration was in another.
- KillerSe7en, on 05/16/2008, -0/+6The Frat called. They want their sense of humor back.
- pak314, on 05/16/2008, -1/+7Once in jury selection this lady tries to act racist in order to get kicked out. Everyone could tell she was faking it. The judge tries to draw it out to see how far she would go and she went all the way and made a fool of herself just to get out of the jury selection.
- davidlick, on 05/16/2008, -1/+7Oh, cool...so you read the article too?
- starf, on 05/16/2008, -0/+6I just had my first jury call a few months back. I wouldn't have minded being assigned to a jury, but the waiting is really annoying. You can't bring any electronics including phones into the waiting room, so your life is basically on hold until they either let you go or you get selected.
I didn't even get called in from the waiting room. :-/ - bigkeeperrabbit, on 05/16/2008, -0/+5Just move to someplace with serious crime like Detroit or Baltimore; you'll be able to retire on jury duty.
- inactive, on 05/16/2008, -2/+7'i wanna pee on you"
- RomeyRome, on 05/16/2008, -1/+6You sat in the front of the class didn't you?
- mal1964, on 05/16/2008, -0/+5"usually works"?
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