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186 Comments
- dotlizard, on 01/15/2008, -0/+152#12. on second date, reads you the poem she wrote you entitled 'no rock big enough', describing how she'll find you no matter how well you hide.
(true story. happened to a friend of mine.) - TH3W1R3D, on 01/15/2008, -1/+77What kind of chicks are you dating?!
- oOLiquidNightOo, on 01/15/2008, -0/+61she phones and states that she didn't call to talk to you but wanted to talk to your penis instead. she then insists that you hold the phone up to it so that she can have a few words.
it's a documented fact that psychos tend to be great in bed. for a short period of time, the sexual pros will outweigh the .. stab wounds. - Grumps, on 01/15/2008, -2/+60My wife matches 9 of the 11 signs.
- Brianguy2000, on 01/15/2008, -0/+54A restraining order is just another way of saying "I love you"
- sockpuppets, on 01/15/2008, -2/+53I had a girl I was dating for about 3 weeks knock on my door one night at 1am. I had the flu but she pushed her way in to tell me "I complete her."
I had to joke about calling the police... Hahaha, funny, you should go, don't make me call the police! Hahaha... ahhhh... - neognostic, on 01/15/2008, -4/+52#13 - Promises to stick her tongue up your ass if you come back, odd part is you never asked her to do that before or mentioned that the act gave you a rise.
- jd33, on 01/15/2008, -1/+48#13. She tells you about every ***** crazy dream she has.
- ApokalypseNow, on 01/15/2008, -3/+50Personally I find that the rock doesn't have to be very big when it is traveling at the stalker's head at 1,200fps.
A rock of roughly .45 caliber should do the trick. - ApokalypseNow, on 01/15/2008, -0/+47Actually... that one is pretty fun.
- HayString, on 01/15/2008, -5/+51"150 yards Goddamnit! 150 yards!"
"Inadvertent contact, Bill! Inadvertent!" - ApokalypseNow, on 01/15/2008, -1/+45How dare you assume I subscribe to your outdated belief system!
- scheibs14, on 01/15/2008, -2/+43Rudy is that you?
- Premier, on 01/15/2008, -0/+39#15 She drops you to your door and you never told her your address ...
- neognostic, on 01/15/2008, -0/+37Were you in a coma when you married her?
- humanerror, on 04/03/2008, -1/+38She is attractive and has lots of guy friends and yet is single and interested in you.
The brain says there's a reason for this and something is not right. But the penis says STFU SHE IS HOT. Penis wins every time :( - jd33, on 01/15/2008, -1/+36Oh God. I'm so *****.
- Hipple, on 01/15/2008, -0/+33Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain...
Think you might need a refresher course - anagoge, on 01/15/2008, -0/+33Rare item. Level 65.
- mik0r, on 01/15/2008, -0/+29Oh if only I had read this article 3 years, 24 stitches, 5 beer bottles-to-the-head-from-across-the-room, 16 trips to the ER, ago..
If only... - Zipko, on 01/15/2008, -0/+29A girl one of my roomates was dating broke into our house when noone was home so she could sneak onto his computer and see who he was emailing/chatting with. She also was over once and pretended to leave, but really went into the basement and hid under the steps until everyone left the house so she could do the same thing.
We didn't know she was there either time, we ended up finding out because she told her roomate about it who told us. - ZulmericronX, on 01/15/2008, -0/+28Also a true story: One night in college, I was just hanging out with friends and didn't want to see this girl I was dating (long story). When she called, I told her I was sleeping and she said "Then why is your light on?" Cue scary music....
- jmpeagle, on 01/15/2008, -2/+28it's ok with God if it is up the butt...duh
- Wargalas, on 01/15/2008, -1/+26Giggity.
- mywhitenoise, on 01/15/2008, -1/+25The duo from 2girls1cup?
- SmooveO, on 01/15/2008, -3/+27This one had such potential given the title. But I think the article falls well short of funny.
- jd33, on 01/15/2008, -0/+23Hope she doesn't read your digg comments
- noahhoward, on 01/15/2008, -0/+23I have this terrible feeling that you have ended some of the best offers you'll ever get.
- Niightwitch, on 01/15/2008, -2/+24She was probably checking to make sure you weren't faking the flu and having another girl at your place.
- DiggzDE, on 01/15/2008, -9/+31This was really stupid. A lame attempt at being clever and funny.
- MarkOfTheDead, on 01/15/2008, -1/+22Really interesting usually includes lesbian best friend dream encounters.
- mywhitenoise, on 01/15/2008, -0/+21I'd call her a cheeseball for quoting Jerry McGuire.
***** Tom Cruise, ruined that line for all of us. - edwartica, on 01/15/2008, -5/+26What are these "girlfriends" that some people claim to have?
- BooshTukka, on 01/16/2008, -1/+21How do you get a rock to move in frames per second?
- bombayterror, on 01/15/2008, -1/+211. She looks into your eyes and says, "No one has ever made me feel quite the way you do." From across the ordering counter you respond, "Thanks. I'll have a venti machiatto, extra shot please."
2. While leaving the movie theater you hear someone shout, "150 yards Goddamnit! 150 yards!" To your surprise she screams back, "Inadvertent contact, Bill! Inadvertent!"
3. Before you’re even home from your first date, she's left four voice mails, sent two text messages and called your best friend to ask where you're at.
4. When she smiles there's always lipstick on her teeth.
5. Ten minutes after sex she's picking out baby names.
6. The first time you meet her parents, you overhear her Dad mutter, "Poor bastard."
7. On your first date she tells her seven year old to call you Dad.
8. She threatens to beat your 66 year old secretary’s ass because she smiled at you.
9. She starts way too many sentences with, “My P.O. says…”
10. She has twelve tattoos, eleven of them covering up old boyfriends' names...poorly.
11. Her bathroom reading materials include the books 'Schizophrenia and You: a Biblical Solution' and 'Women Who Beat the Men Who Love Them'. - mywhitenoise, on 01/15/2008, -1/+20Such a beautiful name, and for the most part they're beautiful girls, but you're right. I don't think I've ever met a sane Heather.
- mrgreenjeans, on 01/15/2008, -0/+19The photos are so disturbing.
- edwartica, on 01/15/2008, -0/+17Well, at least you're being ***** while you're *****. Or at least I hope you are.
- theutopian, on 01/15/2008, -1/+18God, I hate that about my wife... I don't care about your damn dreams unless they're REALLY interesting and they usually aren't.
- oOLiquidNightOo, on 01/15/2008, -0/+15yeah, it's when your penis stops talking the calls too that you know the relationship is over.
- orangefly, on 01/15/2008, -0/+152 weeks of dating....offers her trust fund for an idea i mentioned....i was 18....
she was lucky i'm not an *****.... - TheAkolyte, on 01/15/2008, -0/+14Unless it's two guys, Just to clear up any inconstancies.
- PopularWealth, on 01/15/2008, -4/+18#13 - Wants to make plasti dip copies of pink parts and wishes them to be sent to you after break up. True story, who plans for after breakup anyway? I love ya but I'm already plotting to make your life miserable ?!?
- Tyorant, on 01/15/2008, -1/+14This is the last time Brainguy2000, stay away from me!
- apextek, on 01/15/2008, -0/+13reminds me of 10 minutes after sex with this one girl she was humming here comes the bride
- petebot, on 01/15/2008, -0/+13oh wow. lame. I thought this would be real life anecdotes. I love it when the comments on Digg are better than the article...
- inactive, on 01/15/2008, -2/+15or in the ear.
- Incom, on 01/15/2008, -0/+12"new" and your reference to the commandments, wtf.
- EricMiIIer, on 07/10/2009, -0/+12She has never asked to talk to my penis, but I can personally attest to the latter part.
- borez, on 01/15/2008, -1/+13She has a pink bedroom
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Show 51 - 100 of 187 discussions
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