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See the original image at dailymail.co.uk

No sex please, Madonna - I'm on the Cookie Diet

dailymail.co.uk — Madonna has revealed that her attempts to seduce husband Guy Ritchie were once defeated – by biscuits. The pop icon – who last week gushed about her "incredible" love life – says her film director husband went off sex while trying to lose weight on Hollywood's latest craze, the Cookie Diet.

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  • Spies, on 04/13/2008, -6/+24FFS. Off course he won't. After 2394 cosmetic operations who wants to hump a cookie monster!
  • abszint, on 04/13/2008, -14/+52***** the riaa
    • KNon, on 04/13/2008, -3/+23***** the Daily Mail.
    • greenlight2001, on 04/13/2008, -6/+2***** Madonna!

      Unless your her husband... or sane.
      • Markpdotcom, on 04/13/2008, -1/+4You're... seriously, how hard is it to tell the difference?
        • greenlight2001, on 04/13/2008, -2/+3I bet that little mistake made it IMPOSSIBLE for you to figure out what I was saying...
  • AmericanGunner, on 04/13/2008, -13/+7shes old.
    • Chaoticfist, on 04/13/2008, -10/+5You would still ***** her, you know you would. Seriously its madonna
      • jc7012, on 04/13/2008, -5/+7Nah, she's nasty dude.
      • schnikies79, on 04/13/2008, -3/+6I agree with jc7012. She is just plain nasty.

        I mean, seriously, it's Madonna.
      • AmericanGunner, on 04/13/2008, -3/+8Dont get me wrong, shed be a cheap date, with her senior citizen discount and all.
  • TheFinaleofSeem, on 04/13/2008, -21/+21No sex please, Madonna. I'm not into dried up, attention-whoring old has-beens who can't stop getting surgery to desperately hide that fact. If I was into that, I'd be banging the hell out of Cher right now. Then I'd dress up like a little boy and ***** Michael Jackson.
    • Neoanarchist, on 04/13/2008, -7/+1Not sure why you're getting dugg down, I thought your comment was spot on...oh well.
    • coresnake, on 04/13/2008, -2/+2Yeh check out that pic of her daughter.. urgh. That's what madonna REALLY looks like under the surgery (except about 60 yrs older). Don't be fooled Guy, her genes are trash!
  • josemp81, on 04/13/2008, -4/+40I've been on this cookie diet.... And now I only weight 330 pounds!
  • InfinitySnatch, on 04/13/2008, -7/+25Goddammit, who wrote this? It's either a cookie or a biscuit, it can't be both at the same time.
    • sovietninja, on 04/13/2008, -1/+13I think the words are synonymous in the British application of the English Language.
      • InfinitySnatch, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Then what the hell do they call their biscuits?
    • Neoanarchist, on 04/13/2008, -2/+3Lmfao, thank you. I was thinking the same goddamned thing.
  • DeskFlyer, on 04/13/2008, -4/+39In the butt.
  • Maynza, on 04/13/2008, -17/+13I would not turn down sex with Madonna.
  • syphern, on 04/13/2008, -3/+56WTF is a cookie diet? I gotta say these hollywood types come out the the stupidest ***** to loose weight! I have a diet for them... the stop eating ***** and start jogging diet!
    • macweirdo42, on 04/13/2008, -0/+3You eat four cookies as a replacement for both breakfast and lunch, effectively cutting your calorie intake to 800 calories because you're basically eating one meal a day.
    • TVarmy, on 04/13/2008, -0/+11I think it's a thing where they only eat specially formulated "cookies" which are really more low-calorie meal replacements. I can see feeling weak and less virile after being on that kind of diet. It's basically human doggie kibble.
    • methos75, on 04/13/2008, -0/+8Its still stupid, cutting calories like that does make you use weight, but it also makes you lose muscle, energy, and generally become un healthy. cutting calories isn't what is needed to stay in shape, its working out and eating a sensible porportion of protein, fats, and carbs that keeps you in shape.
      • Neoanarchist, on 04/13/2008, -1/+3Thank god someone finally said this. I was reading that article thinking the same thing. Hollywood is psychotic and ignorant, but I love Guy Ritchie! He's a ***** beast of a writer/director!
    • lennybird, on 04/13/2008, -0/+3It's simple to stay in shape (lose weight as well): Jog every other day, do full-body lift routines the days you don't jog, take weekends off (let muscles rebuild), protein shake, brown rice, oatmeal, greenbeans and a multivitamin. Oh and the occasional apple (especially after working out) - drink lots of water, too.

      Side note: keep away from saturated fats and especially trans fat. Other fats are good for you.

      Another: take up a very active sport, like soccer, paintball, football.
      • sephiroth965, on 04/13/2008, -0/+2bananas are great before and during a work out.
  • jdepp, on 04/13/2008, -5/+36Gaah! not ANOTHER spam submission from the Daily Mail!
  • macwac, on 04/13/2008, -10/+7If this is digg worthy I'm moving. Don't make digg a celebrity gossip magazine..

    On another note: 1 comment, 35 diggs = front page. WTF?
  • Emnsta, on 04/13/2008, -10/+8in the butt
  • AmICoolNow, on 04/13/2008, -2/+49Cookie monster was on this diet before it was cool.
    • TVarmy, on 04/13/2008, -0/+13And then the commies at PBS tell him to stop as he was on the cusp of solving childhood obesity...
    • Dr00pieS, on 04/13/2008, -0/+2COOKAAAAAAY!!!!
    • mckirsch, on 04/14/2008, -1/+1Penis!
      Penis!
      Penis!
  • Croecop, on 04/13/2008, -8/+480's Madonna was so hot. Now she's just a pile of garbled flesh.
  • macweirdo42, on 04/13/2008, -7/+3Wouldn't constant sex be a far better method of weight loss than eating cookies? More enjoyable, too... Though in this case, it would be sex with Madonna, so I can see how one might search for alternatives to sex there.
  • Puisapres, on 04/13/2008, -2/+11C is for cookie, that's good enough for me
    C is for cookie, that's good enough for me
    C is for cookie, that's good enough for me
    Oh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C
  • 533n, on 04/13/2008, -8/+16wow her daughter is fugly
    • watcht, on 04/13/2008, -3/+10yea that unibrow ain't really helping her.
    • SwiftKick34, on 04/13/2008, -0/+4Damn, I was going to say the exact same thing.
      • 533n, on 04/13/2008, -4/+3Lol, sorry. I just never saw her before. Damn wtf happend, adopted?
        • mmortal03, on 04/13/2008, -0/+4Nope, Madonna has one, too. Look at some early pictures of her.
    • coresnake, on 04/13/2008, -1/+1Madonna looks like that under all that surgery! ITS A TRAP!!!
    • Twenty, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1I'd hit it.

      :X
  • SuperMoses, on 04/13/2008, -1/+11Slow news day? What's with Daily Mail.. did they hire a bunch of people to digg up their stories?
  • junkwheel, on 04/13/2008, -2/+9There's a lot of Daily Mail readers on Digg.
  • googlyelmo, on 04/13/2008, -1/+5i dont think i could ever recal another point in history where this would be considered news
  • dsmatrix, on 04/13/2008, -1/+9This is so lame. Buried.
  • bubba9999, on 04/13/2008, -0/+9In all fairness, they were Pepperidge Farm Milanos.
    • Taciturn, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Anyone who wouldn't give up sex for Milanos is fooling themselves. Luckily, having them on hand tends to increase your chances of getting laid.
  • themulf, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Obviously not many at this establishment give a *****, my question is about those why do... those sad few who do....
  • rivalius13, on 04/13/2008, -0/+4So wait, all this time I haven't been bingeing, I've been dieting....sweet! *chomps down cookies*
  • gatorsfan182, on 04/13/2008, -0/+0"Madonna told an American radio station yesterday:" Man, Johnjay and Rich never get credit!
  • HanSolo69, on 04/13/2008, -2/+6Wow...how did Guy Ritchie and Madonna produce the ugliest daughter ever?
    • NutraAmy, on 04/13/2008, -2/+2They didn't, Madonna slept with one of her backup dancers and produced Lourdes. Furthermore, Lourdes is not ugly, she is 11!
  • VyPR, on 04/13/2008, -1/+6OM NOM NOM NOM
  • orca94, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Please tell me this has nothing to do with the cookie game. Although if all I could eat was the cookie from the cookie game I'd def. lose a ***** of weight.
  • cast55, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Guy Ritchie's inner voice:

    "Wait, did she mean THE Dennis Rodman?!... Ewww."
  • petsheep, on 04/13/2008, -3/+2dailymail and Madonna rock!
  • CookieDoctor, on 04/13/2008, -4/+0I've treated more than 500,000 patients with Dr. Siegal's COOKIE DIET since I created it in 1975. While my patients certainly report that my cookies control their hunger for food, I can't recall any of them reporting a similar effect on their sexual appetite. On the contrary, as you might expect, your libido tends to increase as you lose excess weight and your self-image improves.

    I can't explain why eating cookies may have reduced Guy Ritchie's sex drive. In the case of my cookies, they taste good enough but I can't imagine anyone preferring them to sex.

    Sanford Siegal, D.O., M.D.
    CookieDiet.com
    Miami, FL USA
    • methos75, on 04/13/2008, -0/+4Your not treating them, your just replacing one unhealthy life style choice with another one. If you were actually treating them, you get them on a decent healthy diet along with a fitness program. And come on, if your a doctor you would know that anytime you start to cut calories and do not provide enough to power you body, things like your sex drive drop. This is basic nurtition 101, calories are the atteries your body runs on, you short-change it then things start to go awry.
      • Cerebron, on 04/13/2008, -1/+0I hate it when my atteries get short-changed.
      • CookieDoctor, on 04/14/2008, -0/+0May I assume that the opinions you expressed are, like mine, based upon your years of medical training and actual experience improving the health of several hundred thousand patients?
        • methos75, on 04/15/2008, -0/+0I hold degrees in both Sports Nutrition and in sports therapy, and I have been bodybuilding naturally for 10 years, your a quack and nothing more and you and guys like adkins are expressively laughed at and ridiculed with the nutrition world for promoting one unhealthy life style for another. Your "therapy" basically comes down to the equal of cutting of an arm to get rid of elbow pain.
    • methos75, on 04/13/2008, -1/+0Should of been batteries, my KB is on the fritz.
  • redenvelope49, on 04/13/2008, -1/+1well he provided the cookies... she provided the milk
  • Aidenf77, on 04/13/2008, -1/+6Wow, that's about the lamest cover for "I'm having an affair with another woman" that I've ever heard. Especially considering sex is an excellent way to burn calories.
  • MattFromSeattle, on 04/13/2008, -2/+6How about just, "no thanks, you're a crusty old skank who's been ridden more than Sea Biscuit and I could bang hot 18 year olds - I'm Guy Ritchie bitch."
  • maanwi, on 04/13/2008, -2/+3Madonna is no has-been, bitches. She has multiple top selling albums, including a new release, and she looks damn good for a woman of 30, let alone her actual age. There are just way too many haters in this thread. Many of you need to learn to be happy for others' success stories and not get all jealous.
  • rap4abuck, on 04/13/2008, -2/+2I Love Madonna: she changed music for musicians of all stripes. As a woman over 40, she's now setting a trend for women to be sexy at any age. Madonna, show these young girls how to love their man and have passionate sex so they can grow into solid women. Whoever said that life begins at 40 was absolutely right. Who said that a successful woman can't be happy too....Halle Berry, Tina Turner.. older women rock... keep doing it Madonna and I hope to keep reading about it too.
  • exomni, on 04/13/2008, -0/+6Can't Madonna's daughter afford to have her eyebrows waxed?
    • VegaObscura, on 04/13/2008, -0/+0My thoughts exactly. Her nearly-unibrowed forest.
    • mckirsch, on 04/14/2008, -0/+2Dude. She's 11. Maybe they wanted her to be a kid a while longer?

      Or a sasquatch.
  • HalfGiraffe, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1So what's this nookie diet all about?
  • tommy68, on 04/14/2008, -0/+1hes just making excuses so he didnt have to ***** that old dried out whore
    • hope4god, on 04/15/2008, -0/+0Tommy so true Madonna is like the best friend of Rosie Old Fat Donnel thats enough ugly for me never owned a Madonna record never will
  • rowlodge, on 04/14/2008, -1/+1why do peoples faces look so bad when they get old and so good when there young.
    • dopplerdog, on 04/14/2008, -0/+1Aside from the obvious problems with having sunbaked too much, drunk too much alcohol and smoked or taken too many recreational drugs (any one of which would age someone prematurely), one problem that older people (particularly women) have is looking scrawny in the face if they lose too much weight.

      I have no doubt that Madonna, at her age, is as fit as a fiddle. She probably doesn't have an ounce of fat on her. However, being so lean at her age starts making her look too scrawny in the face. Her face could benefit from some additional cheeseburgers, but unfortunately she would lose her physique in the process.

      Young people have it good in that they can be lean and retain a fresh face.
  • kmotiv1, on 04/14/2008, -0/+2No Madonna please, I'm on the sex diet.
  • hope4god, on 04/15/2008, -0/+0Madonna what a rich old hag whore she is nnooooo talent hairy arm pits liked Sean Penn there you go a old hag and an old fag liberial hating blame America first guy... what a wreck she is please Madonna stay in the UK we dont want you back here you stink!!!!!!!!!!!
  • habenneas, on 04/16/2008, -0/+1Lynx mirror: http://www.lynxcache.org/usr/1/No_sex_please_Madon ...
  • habenneas, on 04/16/2008, -0/+1Fast, text-only mirror: http://www.lynxcache.org/usr/1/No_sex_please_Madon ...
  • beckswork, on 04/20/2008, -0/+0In the butt
  • Dailydose4me, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1WTF is a cookie diet?
  •  

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