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85 Comments
- iPlunder, on 11/11/2009, -0/+84"Ok, this is the part where I threaten you with all those sex allegations that really happened, then I black mail you for 2 million dollars! Trust me, it'll be hilarious!"
- one504, on 11/11/2009, -0/+70Guess what? New story idea for you and it revolves around a guy in prison...
- yeeaauuh, on 11/11/2009, -0/+29Looks like the Winona Ryder defense. They did it for the craft!
- arkwald, on 11/11/2009, -0/+25I didn't rob the bank... I was exercising these bills.. do you know how stiff and inflexible they get sitting around in a vault all day?
- hanglerfig, on 11/11/2009, -0/+23Just trying to help that sheep through the fence, officer.
- Solkre, on 11/11/2009, -0/+19I didn't rape anyone, I was merely demonstrating aggressive sexual positions.
- MacBookForMe, on 11/11/2009, -0/+16What a dumbass!
- uruururr, on 11/11/2009, -0/+15what??
- punkcat, on 11/11/2009, -0/+15that note i gave you "Give me all of you cash," that was the title of my new book that i wanted you to put in my safe deposit box.
- MWeather, on 11/11/2009, -3/+16Letterman IS the victim. No spin is required. He had legal, consensual sex and was blackmailed for it.
- Snoogs, on 11/11/2009, -1/+13This sounds like the time I was trying to introduce myself to this woman... I guess she was a little stunned because of the way I jumped out of the bushes, because she ran off. And me, ever the pursuer of a new social contact, had to go and tackle her to explain myself better.
/pepper spray sucks. - digggroupie, on 11/11/2009, -0/+9This guy was mad about sharing his twenty year old with Letterman. Old perverts
- Cepster, on 11/11/2009, -0/+8Ummmmmmm, General.....You are travelling from point A to point B using no logical means of transport. I don't understand what you're trying to say. And judging by the buries, I'm not the only one
- Solkre, on 11/11/2009, -1/+9I also didn't murder anyone! I was merely demonstrating the ability to project lead objects through a cylinder, propelled by a rapped gaseous expansion.
- terminal157, on 11/11/2009, -0/+8Never underestimate Johnny Cochran's ability to invent *****. Yes, even now that he's dead.
- dawgma, on 11/11/2009, -0/+7Adam Carolla...? No. Just... no.
- MWeather, on 11/11/2009, -2/+8"Well, MWeather, if you had bothered to read my link, you'd see that there is an allegation of Letterman creating a hostile work environment (sex for promotions), which is also not "legal sex"."
Sure it is. It can get you sued, but you don't need to break the law to get sued. - RealmDown, on 11/11/2009, -4/+10Glenn Beck, is that YOU ?!
- acknotSW, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5oh oh, is there a shower involved, maybe a bar of soap?
- acknotSW, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5I was thinking the same thing, brilliant idea!
Of course it will utterly fail and he will still go to prison, but good try, not even Johnny Cochran himself could have come up with ***** like that. - davolama1401, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5GeneralObviousTroll
- dhall910, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5"Hes using the chewbaca defense"
- dawgma, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5I'm sure there is a legal exemption to writing a bad cheque when the feds are aware of it and involved.
But it's scary to think that, depending on the language used while they were in communication (Dave and the extortionist), he may be able to get away with it as long as he didn't implicate himself. He could be charged on lesser counts.. like trespassing on Dave's property to put the documents in his car.
Hopefully (and quite likely) the feds did not make a move on this guy until he implicated himself on tape or did something that could confirm his guilt. - MWeather, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5Yes, we need a cranky young pervert.
- uruururr, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5ohhhhh i understand now; you're a lunatic.
- dobry, on 11/11/2009, -3/+7We all hear about ridiculous stuff like this all time, normally shaking our heads in disbelief. However, this is different. I actually have to give it to him. That is the best excuse I've ever heard in my life.
- Rudegar, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3I didn't rob the bank.. I was showing them how laissez-faire their security system was I would totally handing the money back after I thought them a lesson!
- dawgma, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3It's possible the defense could hold. Although it's blatantly obvious what happened, if the discussions he had with Dave were strictly about the script and Dave gave him the fake cheque to "pay for the script"... then he might not have technically done anything illegal!
- EliteBeat, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3Why should this be illegal? It's legal to tell someones secrets (if true) but not legal to ask for something from that person to prevent it?
This is a real question by the way. - gothsquirrel, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3Those Lawyers should be fire for those words coming out their stupid stupid mouths.
- TiE23, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3Wow, after reading all the comments about this, it just hit me that this could be a legit defense if it was actually a threat written in the form of a sales pitch.
(I'm just going to say book for the sake of making it easier to write):
"Oh, hey, David, look at this. I wrote a book on how David Letterman has affairs with women who work for him. Cool huh? Well, I don't have a publisher or anything and I'm done writing it. So would you like to buy the manuscript from me? I spent a lot of time on it and I think $2 million would be a fair price. What do you say? Call me sometime!" ~ Joe Halderman
Seriously, if he wrote the threat that appeared in his car like that, who ***** knows. But if it was just a regular threat, "I know you're having an affair, give me $2 mil to stay quiet." And THEN he uses this script defense, then yeah, the judge is gonna laugh in his face.
Though... I'm pretty sure laws cover situations like this. Otherwise when a Mafia member says "It'd be horrible if something happened to your store..." on tape, he'd never get in trouble. - shadowspawn, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3Swimming with sharks.
- pilot3033, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3the way i read the article implied that Halderman wanted to sell the rights to be Letterman, essentially to bury the story. But David Letterman already owns the rights to his life story and his likeness (as do we all). In order to produce a book or film from the story, Halderman would need to make changes to the story to NOT include Letterman, e.g. a fictional "Bald Late Night TV Host has Affair." Otherwise Halderman would need to secure the rights FROM Letterman by paying him so the book or film could be produced as non-fiction, or be exposed to a fierce Libel case.
In other words, the sales pitch defense is *****. You don't ask someone for money to buy the rights to something they already own. - inactive, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3If it were Daniel Day Lewis though they'd let him get away with it, he is "method acting"
- vodka357, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3The dumbass tried to cash a 2 million dollar check. My bank breaks balls over a $200 check
- urbanetruth, on 11/11/2009, -0/+3he'll be pitching the commissary for soap on a rope pretty soon
- diggbigwig, on 11/11/2009, -1/+3Sluts, douche-bag and a perv. Sounds like a good script to me.
- diggB, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2Life's a pitch, then you cry.
- dawgma, on 11/11/2009, -1/+3You're confused. Dave doesn't own the script, which is what was "for sale". Letterman doesn't automatically get the rights to the script just because it was about him.. haha..
Letterman may have been able to sue Halderman for slander if he published without Letterman's consent... but only if Halderman was lying about Dave and apparently Halderman had all the proof he needed to back the story up.
You can write unauthorized biographies about people and you don't need their permission to publish. Especially if it was a fictionalized/dramatized account of the person's life. Then you are granted even more liberties with the truth. - Mujokan, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2It counts as coercion. You can go tell the secrets, but you can't ask for money in exchange for not doing that. I can ask you to give me ten bucks, but I can't threaten you with anything for not giving me ten bucks.
- Elranzer, on 11/11/2009, -1/+3"Ugh, this just isn't working out. Can we at least get a topless scene in there somewhere. We can! Great... we have a movie!"
- ROBINEW, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2So what you are saying is that Dave should be arrested for writing counterfeit checks? Such a ridiculously silly defense that it just may work.
- bigwhitecock, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2He will switch from being a pitcher to a catcher in prison.
- Hulapop, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2Halderman: "It's a script for a new show called "Blackmail" and it stars you, Dave. Shall I start production or will you find that checkbook. Now."
- blackinthmiddle, on 11/11/2009, -1/+3So...are you advocating extortion be legal?
Let's start with one thing at a time. We agree that it's wrong to extort people, correct? Ok, good. This extortionist should then go to jail, right? Not hard to follow that logic.
Now, is it against the law to patent an idea? Of course not, the entire world has been built on ideas becoming reality. Does the patent system need overhauling? Sure, probably does. We could either force people to bring an idea to at least a prototype within a certain time frame or call their patent null and void. HOWEVER, until "patent-squatting" becomes a crime, you really have no leg to stand on.
We should be working in the other direction. You don't like a system? Fix it! You don't say, "Well since activity 'X' is legal, let's make activity 'Y' legal too!" Instead, you say, "Keep extortion illegal as it should be and make squatting on patents something harder to do." - gerrylazlo, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2His inmates are going to pitch him the script to a 'Deliverance' sequel.
- dawgma, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2lol.. MWeather.. are you going to admit that you were wrong, then?
You started off by saying that the cheque was real and it was cashed and the money was taken from Letterman's account.
You then went to dig up a news link to try and substantiate your made-up claim... but your link proved to be worthless and in no way proved your claim (even after you insisted that you *pay attention* to the news...)
And now it appears that you are halfway admitting you were wrong by acknowledging that it bounced.. but you just had to throw in that it was *real*.. as if you could save any face at this point.
Sure, Dave probably cut a cheque straight out of one of his cheque books (which, if you were *paying attention* from the start of this thread, you would know I already suggested this as a possibility...) but it's still a phony/bad cheque because it was never intended to be cashed.
Just admit it. You made ***** up. You came into this thread with the intention to *correct* some people with your ***** make-believe facts, and you got your ass handed to you. - BossKey, on 11/11/2009, -0/+2I call the next witness...Chewbacca!
- dawgma, on 11/11/2009, -2/+4You can absolutely deposit bogus cheques. It takes days to process them before the funds are confirmed and transferred. That cheque was made to bounce. Letterman said it, cbs news said it, and the link above from abc news says it.
The "proof" that you just quoted (and likely looked for AFTER I accused you of spreading rumors/ making ***** up) is ambiguous. It does not prove or deny that the cheque was bogus or real. It just describes it as a cheque. You call that proof? - Mujokan, on 11/11/2009, -0/+1This was obviously his plan all along, but it's bound to fail.
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