What is Digg?106 Comments
- Steinr, on 06/12/2008, -1/+31My wife and I made a decision that we both have access to a general account and we each have our own and we are allowed to spend a certain amount a month without consulting the other partner. However if we make a bigger purchase or sign any form of credit agreement it has to go through both of us. this way we don't have to hassle each other but have enough freedom to buy lets say a video game or a pair of shoes. The budget is agreed every time our income or outgoing change. ie if rates change or bonus goes down etc. This system works fairly well as long as we stick to it, and at the moment we do.
- wsuvtx, on 06/12/2008, -3/+31Since my divorce, most all of my financial issues have disappeared. What does that mean?
- AlwaysAwake, on 06/12/2008, -2/+30One of the biggest mistake that those "in love" make prior to agreeing to marry, is not to have completely open, candid discussions about money. Also, it is very important to pay close attention to the spending habits of future spouses, which is unlikely to change after the "I dos". The rule is, keep eyes, ears, and mind wide open before marriage, and half-closed afterwards. Then there will not be those rude awakenings 6 to 12 months afterward, when you find yourself saying "You've changed". They haven't changed at all. we, blindly "in love", just weren't paying close attention. To slow down the heat driven rush to the altar, marriage licenses should cost $250,000. and divorces 10 cents. Lawyers would have to find other ways of making a living too, which would not be all bad for the rest of us.
- Nosty, on 06/12/2008, -3/+21Me: "I don't think I've seen that shirt before, is it new?"
Her: "This shirt? I've had this for ages!"
Receipt: "Dude, she just bought that this past weekend." - BMNB1tches, on 06/12/2008, -5/+21It means you're a woman.
- Nosty, on 06/12/2008, -1/+17What was her reaction when she discovered that it was man-on-man?
- cJw314, on 06/12/2008, -0/+15I'm with you, Locnar.
In my mind, marriage means 1+1=1. - Locnar, on 06/12/2008, -1/+12My wife and I seem to be one of the rare breed... We don't have his money or her money.. Not sure if this is a good thing or not.. There are times I wish I could just go out and buy something without the hassle of telling her.. but it does work.. everyone else I know they keep there accounts seperate.. Not sure which would be best..
- donkevin, on 06/12/2008, -0/+11Him: "Holy *****, a talking receipt!"
- silveravnt, on 06/12/2008, -1/+12I hide money from my wife in the kitchen. She wont ever find it there.
- RedReplicant, on 06/12/2008, -1/+11If you need someone to tell you, you weren't paying enough attention before.
My parents got divorced, split up their assets (fairly evenly), and my dad suddenly realized that they had had NOTHING saved for retirement, and he has to start now, in his fifties. Is this my mom's fault for spending too much and not thinking ahead? Absolutely. Is it also his fault for slackhanding his way through their shared finances and ignoring the books? Absolutely. - vanettenc, on 06/12/2008, -2/+12If those are your feelings on the matter, then all you have to watch out for is someone stupid enough to marry YOU.
Men can spend money just as fast as women -- I'm sure you have your fair share of video games. - revjustin2, on 06/12/2008, -0/+9If your receipts are talking to you, you have bigger problems than your wife's new shirt.
- apthebold, on 06/12/2008, -0/+8My (now) wife and I had all of your finances combined about a month after we started dating. Five years later, there have been no major arguments about money. Even telling each other about individual purchases has become unnecessary. We trust that neither one is going to spend beyond our means. I often think that couples that do not have that level of trust should not be married.
- webkami, on 06/12/2008, -1/+9....and then the morning alarm went off.
- cJw314, on 06/12/2008, -2/+9Or, you could get married for the right reasons and not live with a 'divorce some day anyway' mentality - you quitter.
- sabroskie, on 06/12/2008, -0/+7And she'll probably only wear it once before leaving it in the closet to collect dust!
- Gizzmo0411, on 06/12/2008, -0/+7My wife and I have a similar plan. Primary checking account for bills, discretionary account for play. We don't question each others spending habits as long as we stay under a set amount per month. If we have to go over that amount, we discuss it with the other person. Primarily this comes from a realization that we make money to live, but also so that we can do the things we want to do. Be it buying a video game, or taking a trip.
A savings account for emergencies...IRAs for each of us 401ks for each of us. It all works out...why??
BECAUSE WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER - life38, on 06/12/2008, -0/+7While at times money priorities do not match and each of us have our personal preferences of what should go first, more successes come by working together.
- silveravnt, on 06/12/2008, -0/+5Thats pretty much how we do. We have 3 accounts. We are both pretty tight with our money though. One of us is usually the voice of reason and restraint.
Why would you marry someone if you don't trust them with your money? I've never understood that. - inactive, on 06/12/2008, -0/+5We also do not have seperate accounts etc. We are both on all the accounts and both keep close watch of our finances. We have little debt, and always know where we stand financially. Makes things much much easier.
- RedReplicant, on 06/12/2008, -1/+5That sounds like a pretty reasonable, practical plan. Kudos to you for having a level head about this issue.
- Swarms, on 06/12/2008, -0/+4Vikings.
- newl, on 06/12/2008, -0/+4For us, maintaining an allowance for each other of a predefined (yet can be reviewed and changed if need be) amount for each of us despite what we make (I happen to make more than she does) has worked quite well. We keep our separate accounts specifically for this purpose instead of having to worry about who is putting in more or less than the other. We were also very open about finances when we got together. It all boils down to communication in the end and those couples that have it do well.
- silveravnt, on 06/12/2008, -1/+5For a girlfriend, hell yes keep it separate. I mean you don't know if you will still be with her in a year and it makes it a lot easier to hide it from your wife.
- revjustin2, on 06/12/2008, -1/+5I don't get it either. My wife and I had a joint account from the minute we moved in together about a year before we officially tied the knot. It made things 1000X easier AND it actually got both of our finances in order. I also think that having kids makes the split account thing kind of silly. Where do you draw the $$$ for braces? What if you take the kids out for ice-cream? Who pays for college? I can see these things getting messy.
- Gizzmo0411, on 06/12/2008, -1/+5Damn straight cJw314...
Once you start separating money the desire to hide things becomes too overwhelming. Sooner or later you end up having arguments about it...and it all goes downhill from there.
Secrets will KILL a marriage no matter what they're about. - BobMysterioso, on 06/12/2008, -1/+5When I got married we just put our money into 1 account. It wasn't much money then but its grown pretty substantially over the years. We save a good portion every week into our savings account.
She spends money on shoes and clothes and other things, I buy stuff for various projects and other bric-a-brac - or on woot.com.
Money should not be an issue, you'll make more. Spend some (reasonably) and enjoy the time you have together. Save for the future, and make sure you have open discussions about money and the spending of it. - Bronowyn, on 06/12/2008, -0/+3that's how my hubby and I do it, too. Makes it mucho easier to get him a special present when he can't look at my bank account and go, "what's this?" But this arrangement also gives me the freedom to spend money on things he would think are excessive... like getting a pedicure or a wii fit. :) And he can buy season tickets to hockey.
Makes us both super happy. We both do 401Ks, and we feel pretty good about our arrangement. One thing we did do, which I think is a wise addendum... we put our debts TOGETHER. We paid them off TOGETHER. We flew through our debt paying so quickly after we were married, I wish we had done it when we were just dating! :) I think that my lack of debt, comparatively, made my hubby wise up to not putting himself into debt again, which was an added bonus. - WoollyMittens, on 06/12/2008, -1/+4Not everyone is as awesomely reasonable as you.
- Nosty, on 06/12/2008, -0/+3You're cool.
- bjs3171, on 06/12/2008, -0/+3Capital One?
- bombula, on 06/12/2008, -1/+4Yeah, I just don't get the whole separate money thing. But then, I've been with the same woman for a long time and we knew each other as teenagers, so we're basically a single symbiotic organism at this point. I would find it really weird keeping money separate. There are no lines of separation in our relationship - not financial, not physical, not in our home (no his-and-hers crap), nothing. I know for most people the opposite is true, but it still makes no sense to me. That'd be like living with a business partner, not having any real intimacy. You might as well just ***** your roommate and then shake hands in the morning when you leave for work.
- monoa, on 06/12/2008, -0/+3DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
etc. - hokie47, on 06/12/2008, -8/+10My wife: Honey, What is this strange change on our credit card?
Me: Nothing, don't worry about it.
My Wife: I am not sure about that, I am going to call to see what it is.
Me: No don't do that.
My wife: Why?
Me: Fine, it is for a adult site.
My wife: Who still pays for porn?
Me: I don't know it was a dumb thing to do.
My wife: Can we watch it together?
Me: Yeah we can. - Nosty, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2If there aren't any problems and neither of you resent the other then it should be fine, but it's something that any couple should openly discuss - especially if one's making a lot more than the other.
My wife and I subscribe to the system of each of us having our own checking account, and then a bill account. Our direct deposits go into each of our accounts - we figure what's going out to bills, and how much we each got paid. We add them together, subtract the bill money, and then split what's left over. - epyon8282, on 06/12/2008, -3/+5A tiny GPS tracker so i know where she's is at ALL times. Spending some time at your mothers house this weekend are? I don't ***** think so.....
- Sommerlost, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2I'll bet this makes you pretty bitchy towards him eh?
- aphexcoil, on 06/12/2008, -1/+3I'd much prefer that my girlfriend and I keep our own accounts and just make payments together on the shared resources. I really don't want to go through all the BS of having to call her or ask her if I can purchase this or that. I also wouldn't want her asking me, either. If she's smart enough to manage her finances, she'll be able to contribute to the rent, etc. If she can't contribute anything, then I might keep track of the size of her closet or where those new shoes came from.
The short of it is -- keep your ***** separate. - alpha94, on 06/12/2008, -1/+3I feel sorry for people that are in relationships where they have no idea what the other person is doing with the household funds. That's not a very trusting and open relationship. In my situation there is no my or your money and we're both on the same page about investing, bills, purchases and any other financial decisions. I couldn't imagine it any other way.
- chromerium, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2My wife and I when we were married consolidated our banking accounts. We now have a single, shared account where my salary is deposited (and hers, once she starts working again). Nothing large is purchased without the other's knowledge.
I know, technically its all my money at the moment, but I don't understand why you would marry someone you don't trust 100%. It just seems odd to me. - robbob, on 06/12/2008, -1/+3Why is the guy pictured always looking like the idiot in articles (and commercials) like this?
Unexplainable since the stereotype is with the woman. - Zirdante, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2So you are like "damn my wallet is empty, honey throw me yours, I'm going to the 7/11 to buy some beer".
- revjustin2, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2Yeah...but those are IMPORTANT!
- xirkonia, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2That's why pre-nups were invented.
- glui2001, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2I'm glad my wife and I talked openly about finances before we ever got married. We even went ahead an got a notorized pre-nup detailing how our money should work. It's not so much the pre-nup as it was the open discussion about our debts and assets and how we wanted to make it work going forward. I'm happy to say that we've practically never fought over money in our marriage thus far.
- JayTee44, on 06/12/2008, -0/+2Are you suggesting that it is possible to find a 100 % trustworthy woman in 2008?
- johnstar, on 06/12/2008, -0/+1all the money me and my wife make get direct deposited into 1 bank account bills are all auto payed buy the bank (free service)
10% goes into savings account the rest of the disposable income gets split in half (to spend how ever we want).
P.s. NO CREDIT CARDS! - inactive, on 06/12/2008, -0/+1She gives me twenty bucks a week.
- s0nicfreak, on 06/12/2008, -0/+1So why did you marry him then?
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