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64 Comments
- abarysh2, on 07/02/2008, -0/+48I can't believe I'm reading about how to pretend you're working while I'm at work... digging...
- ColonelTribune, on 07/02/2008, -0/+25Always a good skill to have. Too bad you can't put it on your resume.
- inactive, on 07/03/2008, -0/+24I can't believe I read all this.
- JTJ1210, on 07/02/2008, -1/+22I can't believe I'm reading about you reading about someone else reading how to pretend to work, while I'm at work.
- zerobackup, on 07/02/2008, -1/+16I can't believe I'm reading about you reading how to pretend to work, while I'm at work.
- alapoet, on 07/02/2008, -2/+17Slackers of the world, unite!
- FizzanoMatrix, on 07/02/2008, -1/+13I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy. Think about it…
- shutaro, on 07/02/2008, -1/+11I can't believe I'm reading about you reading about someone else reading about yet another guy who is reading about how to pretend to work, while I'm at work.
- inactive, on 07/02/2008, -0/+9Sleep under your desk.
- FeartheKnighted, on 07/03/2008, -0/+9maybe tomorrow.
- jenny867, on 07/02/2008, -0/+8I always just throw a tail onto a production log.
- AdmiralAcbar, on 07/03/2008, -0/+8I can't believe... ***** it.
- l0k0, on 07/03/2008, -0/+7The guy probably wrote this as a way to pretend he was doing work on the job.
- jluebbert, on 07/02/2008, -1/+8There needs to be a guide on how to look busy in college classes.
- Regulator980, on 07/03/2008, -0/+7That was a Seinfeld episode, actually. George Costanza was the king of slacking off at work.
- TomK88, on 07/02/2008, -0/+7Just throw important looking papers all over your desk and open up a bunch of spreadsheets, Power Points, etc. Then be typing away furiously or deep in thought any time somebody walks by.
- haikuFU, on 07/03/2008, -0/+6Here are the tricks I use, or have used in the past:
- Sleep in the bathroom stall. Mentioned in the article. Find one on a nearly empty floor to keep people from waking you with their noise, or pooping.
- Find a wiring closet and nap in there. take out your laptop and open a serial terminal to some network device so if you get caught sitting on the floor, you can just say you've been sitting there forever going over a config or something.
- close the door to your office, lay on the floor with your feet touching the floor. Stretch the rest of your body out with your hands under the desk on a pile of pencils or paper clips. If someone opens your door, it hits your feet, wakes you, and you can pretend you were picking up paperclips.
- In a cube, or office with your back to everyone else. Turn off screensaver/blanking. Open a large spreadsheet, zoom WAY out so there's a ton of data on the screen. Rest head on hand with elbow on desk and put your face right in front of the monitor.
- If you have really dark tint in your car, go sleep in the back seat
- sleep in rarely used storage areas
- Some offices have "private" phone rooms for making private calls. Walk in with a stack of papers, close door, sleep. If there's a window, put your back to the door, place a pen in your one hand, and sleep with your head resting on the other hand.
- Sleep in the freight elevator on an unused floor. If someone calls the elevator, it will wake you.
- If you have a private wooded area nearby, just go sleep in the bushes. This is actually pretty relaxing on a nice day. Find something with grass under it. Mulch, dirt, and rocks have bugs and crap all over in them.
One of my co-workers had an office with another door in the back of it that led to another small room. he put a sleeping bag and a pillow back there, and positioned the bookcase so you could just slip by the edge of it to get in. Anyone peering into the front part of his office would never know that door was there. Then he scripted 99% of his job, didn't tell anyone, and slept all day long. - Zipko, on 07/03/2008, -1/+7why? you don't get fired from college for slacking. If you really don't want to be in class just don't go.
For me the most common reasons to skip classes were
- it's too cold to walk to class
- it's too hot to walk to class
- The weather's perfect, let's go to the park - wynja, on 07/02/2008, -0/+5I found this while bored at work. It's too true.
- franciscofelipe, on 07/03/2008, -1/+6I want to believe
- row1, on 07/03/2008, -0/+5GEORGE: Jerry, look at my eyes.
JERRY: A little less beady today.
GEORGE: Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.
JERRY: Sounds like a really cool fort.
http://i.tbs.com/v5cache/TBS/Images/Dynamic/i37/aw ... - lucy22, on 07/02/2008, -0/+4I like this..look busy, but not!
- allaboutdatiki, on 07/03/2008, -0/+4cast off your shackles!
- bryanricker, on 07/03/2008, -1/+5The next Digg articles to make it to the front page:
"3 New Sex positions to try"
"2 Ways to Sleep Better"
and finally...
"1 New Way to Brush Your Teeth" - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+4There is a way to put it on your resume.
"Very efficient and always makes the best use of his time" - eggsovereasy, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3I found that if you walk fast and hold a piece of paper everyone assumes you're on a mission to complete some work and they leave you alone.
- Adrianna18, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3With all that free time and time spent sleeping, maybe you may quit and start your own business! =P
- gavin422, on 07/02/2008, -2/+5Nothing particularly inventive or groundbreaking. I've done a number of these.
- inactive, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3I work alone during the early mourning hours so I simple do all the I have to do and then spend the rest of the time on digg, facebook, reading news articles,watch youtube videos, rammstein concerts etc.. good times. Working in an office is such a bludge.
Then when the boss comes in I work I work hard for the 2,3 hours we spend togethor lol - hingu, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3I am reading this at work right now!
- PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3You're not interested in having that meeting?
How about we make it a lunch meeting, I'll have accounting authorize a delivery from Au Bon Pain, so we can all have a free lunch. It should only take us 2 or 3 hours sitting in comfortable chairs in the conference room to figure out how the slacker can unite.
If we don't figure it out in that meeting, we can schedule another 6 meetings over the next two weeks.
If that doesn't work, we might need a retreat in Antiqua, where we can get outside the every day distractions and really come together for a viable agreement.
I'm pretty sure I can get the travel department to agree on first class tickets and suites. - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3I can't tomorrow. I'm swamped.
What do you say we have a meeting next week to figure out the best time to do that? - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3George Costanza always said you should walk around carrying a handful of papers while having a pissed off look on your face.
It's the same with your computer. Just look busy, and have a lot of applications open.
I have a slingplayer running in the top right corner, and bluetooth headphones, and if people walk by, I just start typing furiously on my keyboard and have an intense look on my face. Meanwhile, I'm watching a movie on HBO or Cinemax at the office from my slingbox at home. - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+3If you're a web developer, just have a whole bunch of windows open. Dreamweaver, Photoshop or Illustrator, about 20 web browser windows or tabs, a few notepads, a coupld SecureSSH windows, a few Remote Desktop Connections.
Make sure that many of the web tabs or windows are on sites about AJAX or DOM or design blogs, or are on various pages on PHP.net, etc.
Then you just need to be quick to focus the right window when a boss comes around.
Or you could go to Thinkgeek.com and buy the "boss switch", a foot pedal that will bring up a predetermined window any time you kick the switch. - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2Nice one, Costanza!
- PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2That always works. "tail -f /var/adm/syslog/syslog.log /var/adm/syslog/apache.log" is always a good one to have running in the background, to always bring to the foreground whenever someone stops by your desk.
- jordanlgta, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2George: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy. Think about it... (acts annoyed for 3 seconds).
Elaine: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!
Jerry: Yeah, he looks busy! Yeah! - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2My only "time clock" is when I am available on ICQ. I have set up scheduled tasks to make it look like I am logging in at a certain time, and logging off at other times, and then logging off at the end of the day, etc.
Actually, with my verizon broadband wireless card, I pretty much stay logged in 24 hours a day, even going between home and office and back, but if I need to sleep in and work off a hangover, I'll program it to log me into ICQ at a certain time, and I'll leave it by my bedside so if someone actually IM's me, I can hear the audible and can respond. - DarkoKun, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2Oh i've slept in the bathroom many times. I just hate when someone comes in and drops a deuce so I have to leave.
- PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2But that would be work.
He wrote this late at night, on his own time, after spending 3/4 of his workdays slacking off. - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2Why do that?
I make $75,000 a year, get to work between 10:30 and 11:30 in the morning, take hour or more lunches, and leave between 4:30 and 6:00 in the evening.
Granted, I do a lot of programming at night, sometimes pull an all-nighter or two here and there, and can be woken up at all hours of the night if a newspaper reporter has difficulty publishing his story to the web site, or if a database server locks up, or something.
But, being able to work from home at-will, being able to just go for a 30 minute walk around downtown DC anytime I just feel like I need a break, or going to lunch and deciding maybe I should make a stop at one of the nice korean massage parlors for an hour session, or whatever is much better than being a consultant or an independent contractor.
I've done the consultant gig, and I end up working my ass off, charging $150 an hour but ending up making just as much as if I were on salary and working even more hours than when I'm on salary.
Project oriented jobs are cushy jobs, if you know how to work under deadline, and how to properly set those deadlines. - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2Yay flex time!
If you have a project oriented, deadline oriented job, as long as you produce something by the deadline, who cares what you do at work, or when you come in and when you leave.
As long as you complete your projects, you're golden! - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+2That was many episodes.
"Always carry a bunch of papers with you, and have a pissed of or annoyed look on your face" (not a direct quote, but you get the idea.
or the sleeping under the desk episodes, one of which the boss hears his alarm clock and calls in the bomb squad.
They milked that idea for a bunch of storylines. - inactive, on 07/02/2008, -1/+3It could be worse, you could have one of these jobs:
http://www.bofads.com/stories/jobs.htm - Zipko, on 07/03/2008, -1/+2"The good news is that you don’t have to do actual work to be a productive member of the working class. You just have to pretend that you’re very busy at work."
Right, slacking at work makes you a productive member of society. What I usually do when I'm too fried to get anything done is always make sure to have some boring tasks available that are low priority but need to get done eventually. That way if I'm too tired or burnt out that day I can do something that requires no thought but is still productive. If that list of stuff gets too long then I just pawn some work off to an intern and save something to do myself when I need a break.
What I really need to figure out how to be LESS busy at work. 90-100 hours a week for the past month. Tomorrow is my first day off in 31 days, finally get to sleep in :-) - moktail, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1Smoke a blunt in the park. :)
Peace - PhilLesh69, on 07/03/2008, -0/+1Since I pay $22 a day to park in the parking garage 4 blocks from my office, I figure I have to get maximum benefit out of it.
I go back down into the garage and take 20 to 30 minute naps at least 2 or 3 times a week.
It sucked when I drove a Mustang Cobra Convertible, and the seats barely went back but a few inches, but when I bought a Mercedes E320, I could put the driver's seat all the way back to nearly fully laid back, and I could grab enough Z's that by the time I showed back up at the office, I was fully recharged.
And in NYC, they have nap stores, where you can pay a small fee for a 20 minute nap, and some companies are creating nap rooms right in the office. - craighoxton, on 07/03/2008, -0/+1"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to come in this Saturday."
- sammydeath, on 07/03/2008, -0/+1im acutally guilty of having a snooze in the bathroom, pretty safe though
Best idea is set up top stories on digg rss feed in outlook and it looks like important emails to the average dumbass -
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