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5 Phrases You Never Want to Hear in a Presentation
instigatorblog.com — 5 things never to say in a presentation and 5 tips you should follow instead.
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- Skitzzo, on 10/12/2007, -36/+4Uh, it's actually only 4 tips you should follow instead. But hey who's counting right?
- Skitzzo, on 10/12/2007, -17/+8Bah, I was counting the 4 P's... I'm an idiot.
- steven401, on 10/12/2007, -6/+13http://www.duggmirror.com/business_finance/5_Phrases_You_Never_Want_to_Hear_in_a_Presentation/
- miles01110, on 10/12/2007, -1/+80"Do it in front of a mirror. Do it in the shower. Do it in front of others. Do it in public."
*snickers* - Applemacmad, on 10/12/2007, -1/+42Here are 5 you might hear:
"boom"
"one more thing"
"ottomatic"
"we think this is great"
"woo" - DangerMouse9, on 10/12/2007, -9/+2@applemacmad
you forgot "Oh, SNAP!" - Radan, on 10/12/2007, -3/+42@applemacmad:
And to conclude your list, here's the things you don't want to hear:
1. Oops!
2. That's why we have backup systems.
3. Ah, I got a little bug here.
and of course
4. Internet Explorer will be included with every Mac we sell. - Ransomowris, on 10/12/2007, -9/+36. "The plan's to invade iraq"
- alex.will, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4S/skittzo:
WTF, one account, but two different capitalizations? Look at the two profiles, they have the same number of profile views. Weird. - screensnot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Screensnot
- screensnot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4and sCrEeNsNoT
- screensnot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Or screensnot.
All three of my pofiles have the same numbe of views also. - t4k3n, on 10/12/2007, -2/+16 ." he's a *****"
- Kramer
- stumark, on 10/12/2007, -11/+6No, that's five by my count. The last one, "I Guess That's It" is a fantastic tip for those of us who pitch to people. Really, this is an incredibly helpful essay. Thanks to the author!
- DrScott, on 10/12/2007, -10/+3Um, well, what else can they show you? I guess that's it.
- saikhan, on 10/12/2007, -9/+57Um… MAKE SOME NOISE!!! Did That Make Sense? I Guess That’s It. What Else Can I Show You?
- GoodGod, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16you forgot BYAAAAAH!!!
- StephanieBamBam, on 10/12/2007, -13/+0Um...
- MikeDawg, on 10/12/2007, -1/+33Now I got to find a new way to start my presentations. "MAKE SOME NOISE!!!" always has been how I enter any presentation, let alone my own presentation.
- EchoAlpha, on 10/12/2007, -1/+50How about "I can't hear you!" after you ask the audience how they're doing?
- spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17I hate when the presenter tries to energize the room with comments like this, and I hate it even more that it actually works. But seriously, it makes me feel like a tool when someone asks me to cheer for no reason with a room of people I don't know. Or do know. Don't do this in your presentations. Please.
- mc7winkie, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6I love it when people don't get energized by it and the speaker feels completely awkward and not to mention looks like a total and complete tool.
- CarolynMittens, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2yeah the author of this article should have made the clear distinction between "crowd participation" and yelling "HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"
the latter does NOT count as crowd participation. it counts as you being a douche.
- NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -8/+3I'd add "As you can see here..." to the list. No *****? It's a presentation, I'd better be able to see it.
- vofuse, on 10/12/2007, -1/+362 Phrases You Never Want to Hear In Conjunction With One Another About Your Website:
"You've been dugg"
"Bandwidth exceeded" - noseeme, on 10/12/2007, -7/+4http://www.duggmirror.com/
Caught it. - biuku, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20My favourite one is: "This Account Has Exceeded Its CPU Quota "
- blueskydiver76, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1This account has exceeded its CPU quota...i guess but thats only one thing you dont want to hear.
- DangerMouse9, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0Actually, in your case we're thankful that it has been exceeded.
- blueskydiver76, on 10/12/2007, -6/+17Giving good presentations is hard. Public speaking is a true skill that you can develop over time; a combination of art and science. Thinking about my upcoming presentation in May for SOBCon 07 - The Relationship Bloggers’ Conference, I can’t help but hone in on those words I know don’t belong.
* MAKE SOME NOISE!!! Unless you’re at the MTV Music Awards this isn’t much of a crowd pleaser. The key point is this: Know Thy Audience. Your audience should dictate your style, approach, the words you use, etc. If you can’t modify your pitch to your audience you’ll turn people off quicker than you can say…
* Um… The dreaded “um” is so commonplace in our speech we often overlook it. But when you’re standing in front of a crowd, selling ‘em whatever you’re selling ‘em (and don’t be mistaken: you ARE selling) too many “ums” shows a lack of preparedness and comfort.
* Did That Make Sense? Actually, it didn’t. And on top of that, because you had to ask me I’m so disengaged at this point that I’ve started playing a game on my BlackBerry. The key here: Practice. Do it in front of a mirror. Do it in the shower. Do it in front of others. Do it in public. If you present in front of friends and family who aren’t in your field of expertise and they get it, you’ve got yourself a winner.
* What Else Can I Show You? I don’t know, you tell me, that’s why you’re standing up there on the stage and I’m sitting here eagerly in the crowd. Presentations are stories - they need a beginning, middle and end. It doesn’t matter the setting, format or style of presentation/conference/meeting. If you’re standing in front of people and telling them something, you’re spinning a story. And that means it needs all the elements of a good one.
* I Guess That’s It. Well is that the end or not? You would know better than me. Blog professionals often talk about ending strongly, and the same holds true when giving a presentation. Even saying, “That’s the end” is kind of lame - your final point (and the entire presentation arc) should make it obvious enough, and you should be able to transition instantly into the next step - be it questions, slinking off the stage, hours of clapping…
So, I guess that’s it.
Kidding.
Public speaking is the sort of thing that makes grown men cry, and buckles people to their knees. We all know it’s daunting, which is all the more reason to master the 4 Ps of Presentations:
1. Prepare. You might not need a word-for-word script, but prepare something. Make sure your story is compelling, entertaining and worth listening to.
2. Practice. You need to practice. Even veteran presenters practice. Make sure you at least read it out loud a few times to develop a good rhythm.
3. Pronunciate. You need to speak clearly. There’s no room for mumbling in a presentation. Let me toss another P in there - Project. Speak clearly and firmly to get your point across.
4. Participate. You should always try to engage your audience. The sooner they feel like they’re part of what you’re doing, the better.- evilTak, on 10/12/2007, -3/+36ROFL - Pronunciate?!
What happened to Preparify, Practicipate, and Particimucate? - BrookeMarks, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0Thanks for posting that for us.
- phunlee, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13huh? I'm confused by your comment. Pronunciate is a word, right? Is that what you meant? That it wasn't a real word??
I'm a bit befuddlified. - evilTak, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12Pronunciate is a word...in Italian...
Let the defuddlification beginulate! - Dipsomaniac, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2No, pronunciate is a real word in English, too. It's just rare.
- Caleb83, on 10/12/2007, -3/+8If it's not in the dictionary, it must be super rare. Anyhow, the word he wanted to use was enunciate, but that doesn't fall into a neat category of P's. Just like the three R's of school don't exactly all start with R.
- leprix, on 10/12/2007, -3/+9No, "pronunciate" is not a word. "enunciate" is the one you are looking for.
edit: i should read all replys first... - claytorris, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2Pronunciate is a real word; although, it is not really being used correctly here...
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pronunciate%20
jackass - comas, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5The only definition anyone can find is in the New Millenium dictionary. "Pronunciate" has apparently been added to the lexicon, but I'd bet it started out as a mispronunciation or misguided conglomeration of pronounce and enunciate.
- random19, on 10/12/2007, -8/+8Jesus Christ how did this many people not know pronunciate was a word?
God the world has gotten dumb. Read a ***** book sometime. - jtown, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6It's a perfectly cromulent word.
- nepawoods, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4"Jesus Christ how did this many people not know pronunciate was a word?"
Maybe they checked a dictionary. Or several. Just to be sure. - Gizza, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Main Entry: pronunciate
Part of Speech: v
Definition: to declare or pronounce
Usage: rare
Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English - stumark, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0What's the percentage of high school graduates who never again pick up a book once the diploma is in hand? 40%? Something like that? Anyone?
Regardless, pedantics must be practiced until proficient, but better be brave at the library, or the reference rhetoricians may recall recent tardy tomes. :-)
- evilTak, on 10/12/2007, -3/+36ROFL - Pronunciate?!
- SkippyDoorknob, on 10/12/2007, -1/+54"And now for slide 1 of 647..."
- anagoge, on 10/12/2007, -1/+46...with a full page of text, animated LETTER BY LETTER, accompanied by a typewriter sound.
- spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10@skippydoorknob
Thanks for reminding me of something I've appreciated in presentations - put "Slide x of y" on every slide. It keeps the audience from feeling like helpless captives. - Gizza, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"Thanks for reminding me of something I've appreciated in presentations - put "Slide x of y" on every slide. It keeps the audience from feeling like helpless captives."
Thats for sure. I felt this through most lectures at uni. The only hope we got was when the lecturer said it was time for a break, because then we knew we were about halfway through. - superal1394, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1@anagoge: And that is why I will never use powerpoint again.
- ericdano, on 10/12/2007, -10/+12Lame. Just watch one of Steve Ballmer's or Bill Gates speeches and take notes. Then do exactly the opposite. Or, simply watch Steve Jobs give a Keynote.....
- hode, on 10/12/2007, -1/+23^^^^ Noted. For my next presentation I will avoid screaming at my developers and sweating profusely.
- arbulus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17But as long as you do it in jeans and a black turtleneck, you're sure to be a hit!
- Jimzip, on 10/12/2007, -4/+4Don't forget the Reality Distortion Field.
I hear they're on sale now at Circuit City...
Jimzip :D - noahhoward, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9Not sure why ericdano's post was dugg down (yes I am), Steve Jobs is a brilliant presenter. He doesn't read slides to you, the slides are clear, concise lead-ins to the actual spoken material. If you are going to give me slides full of text then you might as well just give me a book.
- AndrewDB, on 01/10/2008, -3/+1Here's an even better list:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm - biuku, on 10/12/2007, -12/+4developers developers developers
developers developers developers
developers developers developers
developers developers developers
developers developers developers
developers developers developers
developers developers developers
HT -- ericdano- over90, on 10/12/2007, -4/+0lol
desu desu desu - arbulus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Is this like the Badgers flash loop?
- saska, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6I just have to say this. I usually don't, but this is an appropriate forum for it.
Sure, that video is hysterical. You know what? When you're sitting in a big, long, corporate meeting in a cold, damp stadium, that kind of speech from your CEO is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. It's fun to rag on people who look like they're off the deep end, but seriously, I have worked in a lot of technology companies and I have never seen a CEO who knew how to have fun and be excited and love his company the way Ballmer does.
Maybe "MAKE SOME NOISE" isn't appropriate for a presentation, but never underestimate the positive power of getting people's attention when they expect to be bored to death. - Jimzip, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3@ saska
Getting people's attention doesn't have to involve scaring them to death...
Jimzip :D
- over90, on 10/12/2007, -4/+0lol
- johnsto, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2They forgot "...please do not be alarmed as I remove all of my clothes and smother myself in peanut butter and jelly beans."
I never liked those 'hands-on' lectures... - bluechips23, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Presentations are fun, especially when you know what you are talking about.
- MuffinMan, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15"Synergy"
- arbulus, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4Paradigm Shift
- arbulus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Convergence
"With that said..." - diggsIt, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2'We've got to start thinking, outside the box.'
- Coffeedemon, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7Leverage
- marnaq, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1That's what SHE said!
- gamechic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Let's all "push the envelope" and really start looking at "synergistic opportunities". That will surely give us the "return on investment" we're looking for.
- echo2501, on 10/12/2007, -0/+21"... it's going to load in the appropriate drivers. You'll notice this scanner, Bill... woah."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QahRT12KCgA- Just, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2you know no one can beat a BSOD in a Microsoft presentation
awesome stuff
- Just, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2you know no one can beat a BSOD in a Microsoft presentation
- cataath, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4Seems like he forgot "...and now that my death ray is completed, gentlemen, your services are no longer required..."
- markthegoth, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18does ANYONE actually like the participation presentations, all of that "everybody stand up" rubbish makes me think that the presenter is basically a failed kindergarten teacher.
- echo2501, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4I love them. Makes me feel like failing kindergarten... again.
- LostOnion, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18I hate it when they make you shake hands with the jerk sitting next to you to create "unity of purpose".
- spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Hear hear! I hate it when I'm asked to interact with the audience. If the audience has all the answers why are we sitting here listening to some douchebag?
- giveer, on 10/12/2007, -6/+7Phrases the article forgot was:
"...this chunky rash smells like cheese. There's a sample under your chair..."
"...the Phantom Menace kicked ass..."
"..my old friend, Hitler..." - bane221, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1OooooOOOoooo.... a list that I enjoyed. Well played.
- masterofNone, on 10/12/2007, -4/+2says who. credential up or shut up.
- ExZen, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1I guess if you're retarded that list would come in handy, but otherwise everything on it is pretty much common sense.
- spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I hope to speak as well as you some day. Do you give lectures at Andrew Dice Clay university?
- Kestral, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5"Mission accomplished"
- 5xSTUN, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Don't forget that the audience is picturing you in your underwear.
- kingyubba, on 10/12/2007, -0/+181. Developers!
2. Developers!
3. Developers!
4. Developers!
5. Developers!- kylefsu32, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1I was just about to say that!
*Shakes fist*
:-) - Disodium, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1dang it! beat me to it
- kylefsu32, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1I was just about to say that!
- Coffeedemon, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1They forgot "I think my water just broke"
Seriously ... we almost had that situation last year. - SteveDeGroof, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16. "Somebody set up us the bomb."
- djshinodalp, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1"Helllllo Gentleman and woman! My name is Escobar and I'm presanding..."
- Lasereth, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0A pretty good guideline about presentations. The absolute key to giving presentations (if there was only 1 item on the list) is knowing your subject. Ums, uhhs, shaking, and forced-speeches are all eliminated when you know your subject like you wrote the book on it. Research everything about your subject and know it like the back of your hand...that's the key to successful presentations.
- Lasereth, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1By the way I seriously laughed out loud at the people referring Ballmer's (in)famous speech. Developers Developers Developers Developers Developers Developers Developers Developers WOOOOOOOOOO WHO SAID SIT DOWN WHO SAID SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That video is hilarious.
- Cherubim, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0"Here's my thing"
"Do you get it ?"
"Shut up"
"Ahh .. yeah"
"You, yes you up the back!"
Fart sounds - vampiregabe, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1What about:
Can I get a what what?- kurosakiIchigo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0This is funny because i give lectures all the time, and say all but "make some noise" all the time.
So i dont really agree with this article, but it is just one persons opinion against another... and I'm right ... - arbulus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1WHAT WHAT!
- kurosakiIchigo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0This is funny because i give lectures all the time, and say all but "make some noise" all the time.
- CharliesRevenge, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1Developers, developers, developers, developers! YEAH!
^(Do not do that)^ - Hoyte, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0I am not too sure how i am supposed to respond to this.
So I am going to say the same old monotonous thing that a boring person would say....
Great Topic! Keep on Posting!- Gizza, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Or you could've simply not responded.
- Federbeast, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4These are the only 5 tips I need to know:
1. Dodge
2. Duck
3. Dip
4. Dive
5. Dodge - MacBigot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7#6 "I could care less."
The expression is "I could NOT care less!"- Gizza, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Oh yeah, I HATE that. The same people who say "lets go see if we can't get this to work". WTF, why are you seeing if you CAN'T get it to work.
- kahnspiracy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+06. The speaker saying 'hone in' instead of 'home in'. As in: ...I can’t help but hone in on those words I know don’t belong.
- Gizza, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2umm actually, in that context home and hone are both correct.
- buckeye45, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4by a round of applause, how are you feeling?
- mesmeriffic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Clap.
- eldridgea, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Umm . . .
- jonellison13, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1why did satan invent powerpoint?
- bluechips23, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1So that Steve Jobs can come up with Key Note and iLaunch!
- kraniac, on 10/12/2007, -0/+21. Pronunciate is not a word.
2. Pronunciate SHOULD NOT be a word. We already have "enunciate" and "pronounce." We do not need another. - omoishugo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I college production professor uses all of those phrases, frequently. . . . . and every time i see him i feel like i wasted my money on tuition by taking his class.
- Sundownvf111, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1while giving a presentation on coastal subsidence, the PC i was using BSO'D...
I apparently said "well aint that some *****" louder than I actually intended to.... I got quite an applause - meetzah, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0... does anyone know were the bathroom is ?
- CChris89, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I try to avoid them but have caught myself saying um once in a while when I started presenting Xango. www.thatsgreatjuice.com
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