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12 Ways To Become an Utter Failure at Work

dumblittleman.com — I wouldn ’t normally do this for obvious reasons, but just in case you’d like to join their ranks, I’m going to offer you 12 tips that will guarantee a lifetime of misery at work.

Bury
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  • smitas, on 07/09/2008, -5/+2Failure is a thing to discuss!
  • skewl, on 07/09/2008, -3/+5If you have any ideas that will help all your colleagues perform more efficiently or be more successful, pretend you’re a squirrel and keep them to yourself. They’re your ideas; you earned, plagiarized or stole them.
  • ani625, on 07/09/2008, -4/+2LOTS of people do all of these and still manage to climb up the ladder. F*ck the system.
  • wynja, on 07/09/2008, -0/+2The title should be "12 Ways to Become a Sociopath at Work."
  • bordlin, on 07/09/2008, -0/+3Forgot the part about spending most of your day on digg and a minimal amount of time on legitimate work...
  • Paktu, on 07/09/2008, -0/+3"If you need a big day off, don’t risk booking it in advance. If you ask for July 4th off, management may say no."

    Er...aside from a few people in the service industry, who the hell would need to ask for July 4th off? It's a national holiday...
  • abarysh2, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1My friend was pretty miserable at work and started switching his v's and w's hoping to get on everyone's nerves... "Hey I'll see you guys by the elewator!" "Yeah... wait what?"
  • nikkilai, on 07/09/2008, -1/+113) Going on Digg for hours while at work.

    Guilty.
    • Rewebbed, on 07/10/2008, -0/+1If anything, this should make you successful.
  • tinybubs, on 07/10/2008, -0/+214. Always come in late, spend half the day on the phone with friends, and always have a "crisis" that causes you to leave early.

  • ageaton, on 07/10/2008, -0/+0Napping always works for me.
  • DocKC, on 07/10/2008, -0/+1Tim points you in the right direction towards success every time!
  • Rewebbed, on 07/10/2008, -0/+113. "Pass the cake along so everyone gets a piece"
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