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101 Dumbest Moments in Business: Top tech flops

money.cnn.com — Exploding toilets and a startup that actually called itself VaporTech. When 400 surfers are dumb enough to click on an ad offering to infect their PCs, what's left for us to do?

Bury
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  • bobby2010, on 07/27/2008, -14/+2:-)
  • brainnovate, on 07/27/2008, -0/+15Last time I was at the Googleplex, they had some fancy toilets like that. I wonder if there is actually a remote control to make it catch on fire for employees who need a fire lit under their ass!
  • prophetpimp, on 07/27/2008, -1/+57101? I only see 18....
    • jokr004, on 07/28/2008, -0/+3and two of them were repeated
    • crazzy88ss, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1At the end there's a link that sends you to the full 101.
    • str1fe, on 07/28/2008, -0/+13I have to click "Next" 18 times just to get to the full list? ***** that.

      Poster needs to just link to the full list next time.

      EDIT: Oh my ***** god the full 101 is a slideshow that refreshes the page too. If I can find them all on just one page I'll post it.

      EDITx2: This seems to be the best I can do:
      http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/101dumbest/ ...
      • Enchorito, on 07/28/2008, -0/+4I make it a strict policy of mine to bury stories for slideshow shenanigans. If you can't give me list on a page or two, you're screwing your readers in order to get more loads and clicks on your ads. A new page for every item. Someone needs to be bitch slapped.

  • trumpcard, on 07/27/2008, -3/+10This is so lame.
  • MaxMWood, on 07/27/2008, -0/+7Here is the "Complete 101" for the dumbest moments in business:
    http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/fortune/0712/g ...
  • stignordas, on 07/28/2008, -0/+22Fun to read, but Aqua Teen Hunger Force's marketing campaign is hardly a 'tech flop.' It was a 'marketing flop' that probably paid for itself in negative PR (which is still PR).

    And, um, Mr. Money/CNN: Don't make me turn 18 effin' pages for 1 paragraph each please. How about 4 pages? That sounds reasonable. Are you really that sold out on ad inventory? Great story idea however.
    • unluckier, on 07/28/2008, -0/+4I'd say that the ATHF advertising was HUGE success.
    • twiztidsinz, on 07/28/2008, -0/+5The fans still loved it....
      The haters still hated it..
      And it let many people know about it.
      The two kids got off and made a spectacle of the whole 'bomb scare' thing sending a much needed wake-up call to America telling them to quit being so over-reactive.

      Seems all good to me..
  • SpiritOfRock, on 07/28/2008, -6/+3They made a ***** car that runs on water! The Man is just trying to keep us down by limiting us to SUVs and Hybrids. ***** the system, man!
  • Urgoz, on 07/28/2008, -2/+19"Apple

    Nine-year-old Shea O'Gorman sends a letter to Apple CEO Steve Jobs suggesting ideas for improving her beloved iPod Nano, including adding onscreen lyrics so people can sing along. She gets back a letter from Apple's legal counsel stating that the company doesn't accept unsolicited ideas and telling her not to send in any more suggestions."

    And to say I called myself and Apple fanboy once...
    • hdadeathly, on 07/28/2008, -9/+0And to say when "an" changed to "and".

    • scubachef11, on 07/28/2008, -1/+6I thought I was the only person that thought the iPod should have that kind of feature...
    • bejayel, on 07/28/2008, -2/+3They dont accept those letters because they want to come up with the ideas themselves. Maybe they thought they could be sued if they use those suggested features that arent done via a poll to customers.

      Either way, would be a good feature
      • zakatov, on 07/28/2008, -4/+11. There is no provision in music file formats to sync lyrics with music.
        3. No centralized repository for acquiring lyrics automatically
        4. Copyright/legal issues (?)
        2. When are you actually going to be listening to music and staring at the screen to read the lyrics?

        Just a few things off the top of my head.
      • jamesLankford, on 07/28/2008, -0/+31: if they can do it with karaoke screens then they can do it with the iPod
        3: iTunes ? if they can sell music then they can sell lyrics to go with the music
        4: see 3
        2: on a subway? on a treadmill? just laying in bed?
  • borez, on 07/28/2008, -0/+29"Nigerian schoolchildren receive $200 computers under the U.N."

    ...419 scams quadruple
  • Gbobrt4, on 07/28/2008, -0/+3Virtual Boy
    • newl, on 07/28/2008, -2/+4That apparently didn't fail. The Church released Virtual Priest which apparently used Virtual Boy seamlessly and effortlessly with allegedly resounding success.
  • username7410, on 07/28/2008, -0/+6" On the bright side, they're learning a lot about anatomy
    Nigerian schoolchildren receive $200 computers under the U.N. One Laptop Per Child program and quickly learn a few things nobody expected - such as how to find adult websites and how to store their favorite images on the computers' hard drives. Program leaders say future laptops will be fitted with filters."

    Nice.
    • InfiniteNothing, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1I can't think of a better way to get a country to adopt technology
  • Lokishot, on 07/28/2008, -0/+8I want to see the "come together" video...
  • Chalks777, on 07/28/2008, -1/+1818 pages for ~18% of the article.
    101 pages for all of it.

    FAIL.
  • cdoxie, on 07/28/2008, -2/+1somebody actually spent money on that?????
  • kjleftin, on 07/28/2008, -0/+22what about websites that make you click next 17 times to read a short list?
  • bizmowacka, on 07/28/2008, -2/+4#2: How does using a picture of a key to make a real key make you a hacker?
    • mtschmie, on 07/28/2008, -0/+4I guess that all comes down to your definition of 'hacker'.
    • twiztidsinz, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1As mtschmie said...depends on the definition and how true to the original meaning you want to be. In that case, it's very close to the original meaning.
      • SealandRes1, on 07/28/2008, -2/+1It's not close to the orginal meaning at all. It's like typing a password using a picture of the password, which is most certainly not hacking.

        It'd be 'hacking' if they created a key for the lock by picking it.
      • twiztidsinz, on 07/28/2008, -1/+2A hack (in the verb sense used here) is someone who can accomplish an impressive feat, especially when considering the available resources.
        A hacker (in the noun sense used here) a person who displays skill, particularly with computers. Though it is not limited to computers or computer related meanings.

        By definition, in the sense used here, someone making a key from an image is a hacker. You can look up the meanings in any decent dictionary.

        There are a few meanings for "hack" and "hacker", the original being to cut into pieces. It can also mean someone who is untalented, unskilled, unprofessional or otherwise not good at a particular task yet makes claims otherwise.
  • teamgwho, on 07/28/2008, -3/+4buried for...

    a top 10 list that is actually 18 (only top 5 is allowed to pull that *****)

    misleading title. top tech flops would be products that bomed (i.e. virtual boy, sega nomad just to think of a few video game flops). Bonehead business decisions and poorly thought out marketing ploys (All I want for Xmas is a PSP anyone?) are not "tech flops

    making me click to see each frigging entry in their top 10... errrr... 18

    and finally: THIS ***** IS OLD.
  • iericg, on 07/28/2008, -0/+3Screw Page Refresh... that's so 90's. Ever heard of ajax?
    • heliox, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1I use it on my dishes, but how will that help?
  • sonar1, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1awww, diebold, Leaving the US (not to mention the world) in chaos for the past 8 years.
  • Zarokima, on 07/28/2008, -2/+5Buried for everything being on its own page. ***** THAT *****!
  • Billistic, on 07/28/2008, -1/+1whoops.
  • AbsoluteMSTR, on 07/28/2008, -1/+1Everyone fears of being violated by the toilet, so we basically have an unused bathroom in the house.
  • FuckXboxx, on 07/28/2008, -2/+4A literal tech flop...

    http://presidentsrus.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/b ...

    Bush outsmarting gyros...
    • twiztidsinz, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Sadly, the one thing he's outsmarted is not something to be proud of.
  • nysus, on 07/28/2008, -1/+5Biggest web tech flop: Fortune Magazine's top 10 list navigation. Please stop digging these.
  • Mmedia, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1I did not see the Masturbation Kit or the Salad Water???
    http://www.media-post.net/strangeinventions.php
  • DyceFreak, on 07/28/2008, -1/+4this is the stupidest list I have ever seen... It was put together by someone who doesn't know ***** about TECH. like a preschooler or something.

    The European Union is a Tech flop?
    Some fruit guy from Yahoo? WHAT THE HELL
    APPLE?!?!?!
    BLACK BERRY!?

    bury this pile of *****, it has so little content, you can't even use it as a fertilizer.
  • zoltan2357, on 07/28/2008, -0/+0"Last updated December 20 2007: 10:06 AM ET"
  • trafficlight, on 07/28/2008, -0/+0The biggest failure is CNN's math skills.
  • specialK16, on 07/28/2008, -0/+2Intel's add is just fantastic!
  • Wootstapler, on 07/28/2008, -1/+1iPhone 3G Launch
  • onlinedaksh, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1dugg it
    • arcticblue, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Why? Did you get a shout that told you to? If I sent you a shout that said "Go jump off a bridge and I'll be sure to digg your submissions", would you do it?
  • LilJimmyNordin, on 07/28/2008, -0/+2That God Of War story was nonsense and exaggerated by the media. If anyone at CNN had checked their facts, they'd have known it.
  • mangoman264, on 07/28/2008, -2/+1It's CNN.. I don't really trust them for news anymore, and now I can't trust them to count right either.
  • Olfster, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1This is old. Where is the kringle, or dingle, or whatever they call that Amazon toilet reader thingy?
  • M724, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1So I have to go through 18 pages? Buried.
  • beauley, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1We are virtually all bombarded with marketing ads of all types on the television. Some are actually of some minute value. Those paying for the televising of these commercials spend quite large sums of money and they certainly try to get their money's worth. The question is...how much of their message conveys real "truth in advertising"?
    http://www.gomestic.com/Consumer-Information/Shoul ...
    Should We Question Diet Commercials?
  • robertmules, on 07/28/2008, -0/+0The futures are indicating a choppy opening this morning for the broader markets as oil prices move back over $125 on comments from Iran’s government concerning its nuclear program, the dollar trades lower against the euro, and the Street is bracing for more bad news on the economic front with low expectations in terms of corporate earnings, although Verizon’s beat, is helping the mood a bit. Get more strategic stock news at http://www.weturl.com/996/ .
  • malexan, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1In Toronto they're trying out some new high-tech toilets. I just caught the headline so I don't have details. Apparently you pay $1 for 15 minutes. Not sure what happens after 15 minutes...
  • rajulkabir, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Forbes assholes take note: Fortune proves it's possible to have a slide show that doesn't piss off the world with Javascript that keeps advancing through the pages and can't be disabled.
  • isukeyo, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Why are Digger's constantly complaining about slide shows and lists being on multiple pages - is it really that big a deal to click through?

    Anyway, some of these are hilarious and disturbing (such as the douchebags at Bear Stearns):

    37. Judge Roy Pearson
    ... thus making our satisfaction complete
    District of Columbia judge Roy Pearson loses a $54 million lawsuit against the owners of a dry-cleaning establishment that he claims misplaced a pair of his pants. Pearson argued that the cleaner committed fraud by failing to live up to the SATISFACTION GUARANTEED sign displayed in the shop.

    Four months later a judicial review committee votes against reappointing him to his post, finding that he failed to demonstrate "appropriate judgment and judicial temperament."

    31. Bear Stearns analysts
    We'll say this for Mr. Cayne: He clearly shares his primo stuff with the research department.
    In March, shortly after No. 2 U.S. subprime lender New Century Financial announces a major earnings restatement as a result of failing loans, Bear Stearns analysts Scott Coren and Michael Nannizzi write a research note on New Century. They argue that despite New Century's stock having plunged 50%, to $15 per share, its downside risk is no worse than $10 in a "rescue-sale scenario." Within a month, New Century drops below $1 a share, is suspended by the NYSE, and files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

    40. Comcast
    Oh, Manny, you're soooooo handy
    Young Comcast customers in New Jersey are surprised when a scheduled showing of Disney Channel's Handy Manny - featuring bilingual handyman Manny Garcia and his talking tools - is replaced by hard-core pornography. A parent says she will cancel her Comcast subscription just as soon as the NHL playoffs are over.

    44. Bank of America
    Another subprime stunt
    A Bank of America branch in Ashland, Mass., is evacuated after it receives a fax with the image of a lit match being held to a bomb's fuse. The fax, sent by the company to alert employees to an upcoming promotion, somehow comes through without its text, which should read "The Countdown Begins ... Small Business Commitment Week June 4--8."

    47. John Mackey
    He's also honest, humble, and nuttier than an organic fruitcake
    "I like Mackey's haircut. I think he looks cute." -- Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, posting under the screen name Rahodeb, on a Yahoo Finance stock forum. The Federal Trade Commission reveals that Mackey authored this and numerous other posts over an eight-year period, hyping his company and himself while trashing the competitor he hoped to acquire, Wild Oats.

    49. German screw factory
    The red-light district in Amsterdam immediately closed
    A worker in a German screw factory smuggles out 2,000 to 7,000 screws per night, ultimately stealing more than a million units. He sells the screws below cost on the Internet, artificially depressing the entire screw market.

    50. The Defense Department
    Makes you wonder what it would cost to ship a million German screws
    Exploiting a flaw in a Defense Department purchasing system, South Carolina parts supplier C&D Distributors rakes in $20.5 million in shipping fees on just $68,000 in sales. The scheme is finally detected when a Pentagon clerk spots a $969,000 bill for shipping two 19-cent washers to an Army base in Texas.

    51. Apple
    One, two, three, four, we'll sue you if you send us more
    Nine-year-old Shea O'Gorman sends a letter to Apple CEO Steve Jobs suggesting ideas for improving her beloved iPod Nano, including adding onscreen lyrics so people can sing along. She gets back a letter from Apple's legal counsel stating that the company doesn't accept unsolicited ideas and telling her not to send in any more suggestions.
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