What is Digg?602 Comments
- darienphoenix, on 06/11/2008, -2/+464That review was hilarious. Laughter emancipated from my mouth.
- kimcastic, on 06/11/2008, -4/+457"Of all the things to think, he never thought he'd think that."
FTW. - sjbdallas, on 06/11/2008, -4/+430I know I want to read this book. In fact, I KNOW I want to read it.
- zerosaber8, on 06/11/2008, -5/+294"Me fail English? Thats unpossible"- Aaron Rayburn
- neverender, on 06/10/2008, -2/+285haha, I love that one of the five star reviews is from the main character (Craig Johnson "Craig") of the book... http://www.amazon.com/review/R272XH5CH54XHO/ref=cm ...
- chemicalpink, on 06/11/2008, -1/+217"Aaron Rayburn is the author of two novels (The Shadow God, Spiritual Sorrow) and a book of short stories (The Devil's Children) soon on the way. His writing talent developed over twenty-five years worth of horror movies and an extreme fascination with the macabre. His allurement with demons and the Devil grew from reading the Bible.
On the controversial issues, he stands for the Death Penalty and Abortion. A fetus doesn't have a mind. It doesn't know it's dying. A killer doesn't have a mind, either, but at least he knows he's dying.
Rayburn is currently employed as a prison guard at a maximum security prison in Ohio. You can contact him at aaronrayburn666@yahoo.com."
From "The Official Horror Site of Author Aaron Rayburn": http://aaronscryptofgorgothica.com/ - inactive, on 06/11/2008, -0/+188"Customers who bought items like this also bought Electrolux S-Bag Clinic Vacuum Bags, Set of 4."
...even Amazon put this book in the category of Things That Literally Suck. - Hoshnasi, on 06/11/2008, -3/+169"The lamp's glow was very weak compared to the blue glow emancipating from the basement."
Does Craig's two friends, parents or hot girlfriend own a dictionary? Or a computer with anything newer than Office 97'? - KibblesnBitts, on 06/11/2008, -1/+152"That's probably the fiercest dragon known to man,"
Who doesn't think that when they see a dragon? - ha3er0, on 06/16/2009, -5/+151I emancipated my pants.
- grendelboogie, on 06/10/2008, -3/+136One of the funnier book reviews I've read. I won't buy the book, because I have a low tolerance for that kind of pain.
- digginmygrave, on 06/11/2008, -1/+133ROFL
From the FAQ on his homepage :
"Q. You have a fascination with serial killers. Why?
A. Because I understand them. If my future wasn't intact, I'd be one. I go to sleep most nights thinking of unique ways to kill. What can I say? It thrills me."
And this guy works in a maximum security prison ? - Zipko, on 06/11/2008, -0/+103Here's a review from his other book on amazon
"This author has more money than brains and must be self-publishing online, because both of his "books" are just collections of random gibberish that reads worse than the musings of a down-syndrome toddler.
I'm fairly certain that reading this book caused me to get AIDS." - Barclay1188, on 06/11/2008, -0/+101Tagged as, and I quote:
historical fiction (3)
vampire (20)
vampire romance (19)
fantasy (20)
vampire fiction (9)
fap fap fap (8)
paranormal romance (8)
regency romance (8)
fantasy series (10)
urban fantasy (12)
internet (3)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1418499757/ref=cm ... - lnf69, on 06/11/2008, -1/+99After it infiltrated your lungs and filled them with a kind of innovativeness you have never felt before.
- outofbeta, on 06/11/2008, -0/+92DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie. - StuartGibson, on 06/14/2009, -1/+93The Uwe Boll of the literary world.
- pstroll, on 06/11/2008, -3/+91Ordered
- Rawry, on 06/11/2008, -0/+86I want my lungs to be filled with innovativeness. That would be awesome.
- Majhem, on 06/11/2008, -0/+84Do you think he accepts lame $100 bribes from 20-y-olds with sweet trucks and hot girlfriends?
- 40yrOldVirgin, on 06/11/2008, -0/+81FREE THE BLUE GLOW!
- katanaswordfish, on 06/11/2008, -0/+79hahaha great review. ("Craig Johnson had two best friends, two caring parents, a hot girlfriend, and a nice truck--not bad for a twenty-year-old. A decent life, until he began hearing voices in his bedroom late at night. Then a bright blue light manifests from within his closet. And he is drawn to it, mystified by its beauty.") - I love how he just randomly switches from past tense to present tense. hillarious.
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Thanks Ollie. - zephc, on 06/11/2008, -0/+76I found a new email signature.
- calebhawk, on 06/11/2008, -0/+76"Gigli is film making genious."
-Ben Affleck - cbeach, on 06/11/2008, -6/+77A new digg meme? I rather hope so
- AmazingAndrex, on 06/10/2008, -0/+69Wow that is bad, I've read a lot of B-rate books but at least they were proofread.
- Hangly, on 06/11/2008, -1/+68Of all the posts I'd think to post I never thought you'd post THAT.
- StuartGibson, on 06/14/2009, -0/+61Well, just be careful when emailing him as his website proclaims "No Spam Accepted!"
- Sirocco, on 06/11/2008, -2/+63Dear Lord, what a travesty! Armed with such writing skills I would have never passed fourth grade.
- sittered, on 06/11/2008, -1/+61From a story on Rayburn's website:
"Several times he swore he would commit suicide, but something deep inside him -- gut instinct maybe -- told him that would not be a good idea."
Also, why does his book cost $33.50? I could buy four great books on Amazon for that. - EdgarVerona, on 06/11/2008, -0/+60I think by "works in" he meant "lives in", or "occupies a cell in" or "picks up the bar of soap in".
- edwardmluk, on 06/11/2008, -3/+60Charles Moore, If we were in prison I'd protect you in the shower. Highly recommended! A++++
- adrenaline33, on 06/11/2008, -1/+57Well *****, time to write a book.
- Gutterpunk, on 06/11/2008, -0/+54Oh damn he has some short stories on there : "Kelly was a decent looking woman. She was tall at 5’ 10” with long flowing auburn hair, a petite nose, slender shoulders to match her slender body. She was well aware of the pooch below her navel, but she vowed she would get one of those
exercise machines on one of those late night infomercials."
The pooch under her navel? Wow... thats... wow... It looks like he is writing his books using some some of random generator - redsfaithful, on 06/11/2008, -1/+55The book is self published: http://www.authorhouse.com/
Which means this is basically akin to shooting fish in a barrel. - anchora, on 06/11/2008, -0/+52Oh, sweet Jesus. From an excerpt on his website..
"Not until your dead, Craig! NOT UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD!
Just then, Craig screamed at the top of his lungs. He screamed for perhaps a full minute, driving all his inner voices away."
"The flaming sphere flickered, then a change began. The flame dulled from the bright orange to a glowing azure. Suddenly, it began to sprout limbs. It's changing into a monster." - norman619, on 06/11/2008, -0/+51Reading the title of this post I was expecting exaggeration but amazingly there is none. I love to read and have found some pretty bad books while looking for something new to read but this wins the crap prize. WOW!!! If this guy can sell a book maybe I should give it a try. This makes the stuff I wrote back in college for my creative writing classes seem like literary masterpieces.
- diceau, on 06/11/2008, -2/+52As a wannabe author, this makes me sad.
Well it would, if I could stop laughing. Seriously I am laughing a laugh like no other laugh that was ever laughed in a laughably laughable manner while laughing laughingly. - purzzzell, on 06/11/2008, -0/+47One of the five star reviews is from a friend of the author, the other (from the main character) suggests that the author will "take Stephen King's throne". If the other reviews are any indication, whoever actually wrote this hasn't read a sentence by Stephen King in their life.
Also - if you read the comments on the review, the bottom one is "
Can we get a novelization of this review instead? " - lukeev, on 06/11/2008, -0/+45[Quote]
"It infiltrated his lungs, filling them with a kind of innovativeness he had never felt before."
To be honest, I don't know what word he meant, but I keep seeing Craig's lung filing patents for a dozen new inventions, getting promotions for discovering an even newer formula for Tide laundry detergent, or finding the cure for cancer.
[/Quote]
Classic. - giskard88, on 06/11/2008, -0/+44please warn people before linking to sites that embed ***** midi tracks.
- robdiggity, on 06/11/2008, -0/+44or rather a sharply dressed gay dragon?
- tonich03, on 06/11/2008, -0/+44I gues it' time for the glow to follow its own path in life...
- nascentia, on 06/11/2008, -2/+46I think I know we should not be funning make of this kid's writable skills, in fact: - I think I KNOW I know KNOW now that we should not funning be maker of this' kid writing books.
Five stars review * * * * * * A++++ Excellent seller, would buy again - Calcheesmo, on 06/11/2008, -3/+46That zinger at the end is classic..."or should I say, God knows it would be deficit." Haha, Rayburn, you are pathologistic.
- Buddhaismybuddy, on 06/11/2008, -0/+42Holy *****! Check out the Q&A section of his website. It is priceless!!
"Q. What scares you?
A. Two things: being alone in the woods at night and things that move by themself that aren't supposed to."
"Q. What authors do you read?
A. Obviously, Stephen King. The others are John Saul, Bentley Little, Greg Gifune, Douglass Clegg, Richard Matheson. Non-horror, I like Micheal Crichton and John Grisham really well."
Well I am glad that he is good at liking Crichton and Grisham, at least he can do something well.
"Q. You have a fascination with serial killers. Why?
A. Because I understand them. If my future wasn't intact, I'd be one. I go to sleep most nights thinking of unique ways to kill. What can I say? It thrills me."
http://aaronscryptofgorgothica.com/page6.html - Archer007, on 06/11/2008, -0/+42There is fanfiction better than this. No, there are fifth grade book reports better than this. Fifth graders know not to mix past and present tense... In addition, the author's website is a trip down memory lane to 1998 or so, good for a laugh.
- brainflakes, on 06/11/2008, -1/+42Surely nothing can beat that literary classic, Naked Came the Stranger?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Came_the_Strang ... - CarStan, on 06/11/2008, -1/+41Of all the things to think i never thought someone would think of somethink like that.
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