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Get Your Limerick On

divinecaroline.com — So here are our favorite top picks …An homage to geeks, gamers and chicks…We're sure you’re all clever…At a loss for words never…Use your keyboard! Show off your mad licks!

Bury

KatherineC 260 days ago, made popular 259 days ago

468 diggs
digg it

126 Comments
Who Dugg It?

stignordas, on 03/17/2008, -3/+9I appreciate the fact they're not all dirty. Well, all except the George Bush one.
- Metatron197, on 03/18/2008, -1/+2there once was a man from Nantucket....
- Latentsage, on 03/18/2008, -0/+7everyone knows about the limerickdb no?
  http://limerickdb.com/
  
  I apologize for the comment abuse...
  - xptoast, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Abuse is vaguely used in these here threads. Abuse is not giving helping information that pertains to the current subject. Comment abuse is posting irrelevant crap all over the dang place to make people recognize your stuff. That would be considered spam, no?
- FTLJohnson, on 03/18/2008, -0/+9There once was a story on digg
  That made all the diggers do a jig
  They all clicked thumbs up
  for "Two girls one Cup"
  Which is why girls think diggers are pigs.
  
  ;-P Ok, so that was the best I could do on the fly...
  - stalefries, on 03/18/2008, -1/+2I'd change line 2 to:
    "That made all the diggers diggity digg digg"
  - xptoast, on 03/18/2008, -3/+2I think that limerick is worthy of a click
    I mean who else here can just put up a stick
    I know I don't do that well
    Maybe if I fell down a well
    Which is why I voted you up:)
    - LtXenodite, on 03/18/2008, -1/+4xptoast once tried a limerick
      He was rushing so it was done quick
      He screwed up the rhyme
      because he had no time
      And made everyone else sick.
      - xptoast, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Na I wasnt trying at all.
FajitasRecipes, on 03/17/2008, -1/+3Crafty little limericks, now I can't stop thinking in 1 1 2 2 1. Happy St. Patrick's Day
- EBFoxbat, on 03/18/2008, -1/+3aabba
MTessa, on 03/17/2008, -3/+43Very clever. Here is my favorite limerick.........
"One thing women gamers deplore
Is the lack of maidenly rapport.
Yea, long have we gamed
And it's time we proclaimed:
"Must my avatar look like a whore?"
(Alyssa Grotton)
- 1aaaa, on 03/17/2008, -1/+8Well you do have nice red lips.
- bunker6, on 03/17/2008, -2/+15There once was a man from Bombay
  who fashioned a ***** out of clay;
  the heat from his dick
  turned the clay into brick
  and wore all his foreskin away
  - HeDiggMe, on 03/18/2008, -0/+7There once was a man named Brent
    Whose dick was so long it was bent
    to save him the trouble
    he folded it double
    and instead of coming, he went
- bannus, on 03/17/2008, -2/+62There once was a man named Bertold
  Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
  As he reached for his cup...
  "NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
  Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!
meandnips, on 03/17/2008, -0/+4Loved them all, although now the rhyming will be bonging around in my head all day!
ritita, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5Oh I wasn't expecting the Britney Limericks, those are right on.
watersfine, on 03/17/2008, -0/+7Curious. Non naughty limericks. Growing up with a totally raunchy limerick laden family, I wouldn't have believed it to be possible. There once was a lady from Nantucket...
crazyallen, on 03/17/2008, -1/+30She once told me size doesn't matter
No need to be taller or fatter
Without all that girth
To prove manly worth
Must show off my mass with the splatter
- qasabah, on 03/18/2008, -0/+8In the same vein...
  
  There was a young Nun from Peru
  Who said as the Bishop withdrew
  The Vicar is quicker
  And slicker and thicker
  And four inches longer than you
JulieBrownfield, on 03/17/2008, -0/+6The ones by Jacinta O Halloran are the best. I guess with a name like O Halloran you might be able to write a limerick. Happy green beer day all.
socialdork, on 03/17/2008, -6/+5There once was a maiden
from Chichister
whose shape made the saints
in their niches stir
one morning at Matens
the curves neath her satins
made the bishop of Chichister
britches stir
- Silentnite85, on 03/18/2008, -1/+1AABBA
NegativeIon, on 03/17/2008, -0/+6These sound much better when you're sloshed on green beer and haggis.
- theOster, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2isn't haggis scottish?
  - soupeh, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Haggis is Scottish.
- astrotrain, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1So it was "Imported Haggis" night at the Irish pub...
funsac22, on 03/17/2008, -8/+11I can't help myself with this classic...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose **** was so big he could suck it
He exclaimed with a grin,
as he wiped *** from his chin,
"If my ear was a **** I would **** it!"
- DiggLive, on 03/17/2008, -1/+11You don't need to censor yourself.
- thebellmaster1x, on 03/17/2008, -3/+22C'mon dude, don't ruin it.
  
  There once was a man from Nantucket
  Whose Popsicle was so big he could suck it
  He exclaimed with a grin,
  as he wiped colored ice from his chin,
  "If my ear was a mouth I would also eat through it!"
- solidus636, on 03/17/2008, -0/+2I can make out the first two censors, but is the one after 'a' *****?...
  - DeviantDragon, on 03/17/2008, -2/+2*****
    - solidus636, on 03/17/2008, -0/+6"If my ear was a ***** I would ***** it?"
    - shaitanx, on 03/17/2008, -1/+9Precisely
  - astrotrain, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1You need the Firefox Addon "Captain Asterisks Decoder" to decipher the asterisks...
VogonPoetry, on 03/17/2008, -10/+8There once was a geologist named Wassall
Who one day found a colossal fossil
He could tell by the bend
and the knob at the end
that it was the peter of Paul the apostile!
- unicronband, on 03/17/2008, -0/+50Why what an appropriate name?
  For your poem, you see, is quite lame!
  But I won't digg you down
  For your effort was sound
  Please just go hang your head now in shame.
  - CanadaMan87, on 03/17/2008, -0/+15You win an internet.
Aidenf77, on 03/17/2008, -0/+4Any other Monday I'd fear
To let my boss woefully hear
That to the pub I had gone
And this just after dawn
But this morn' I'll be jaked on green beer
tokage, on 03/17/2008, -1/+12There was a young woman named Grace
who took all she could in the face.
A well-endowed lad
gave her all that he had
and blew tonsils all over the place.
VogonPoetry, on 03/17/2008, -10/+10There was an old hermit named Dave
who had a dead whore in his cave
She was missing a tit
and smelled like *****
but think of all the money he saved!
- typicalusername, on 03/17/2008, -1/+10This from a username of 'vogonpoetry'. Right on, brother! Right on!
Anorhc, on 03/17/2008, -1/+49There once was a buggy AI
Who decided her subject should die.
When the plot was uncovered,
The subjected discovered
That sadly the cake was a lie.

http://limerickdb.com/?286
- kooft, on 03/17/2008, -2/+15C'mon, 291's got that one beat:
  
  There once was a sysadmin, Eddie,
  Who could strip, touch and finger real steady.
  But when it came to the mount,
  (From his sweetheart's account),
  It was always "Device is not ready".
  - D3koy, on 03/18/2008, -2/+2Either you have never heard of portal, or you are very very dumb... No way your's beats his...
  - DontEatTheFish, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2Linux commands for the win!
GhostWithToast, on 03/17/2008, -3/+62One fine day while digging for stories
Through the interwebs informative quarries
I found a limerick thread
And dreamed of epic street cred
If I could just come up with a good last line
- ashleegirl, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2That should be the least of your worries.
diggstown, on 03/17/2008, -1/+31There once was a website called Digg
Quite popular, it really was big
Its ratings would fall
For support of Ron Paul
His chances as slim as a twig.
- DiggLive, on 03/17/2008, -1/+3Internets for you sir.
unicronband, on 03/17/2008, -3/+15The once was a man named Tom Cruise
Whose wild antics put him in the news
But by joining that cult
It was his own fault
That is ass is now owned by Xenu's
- mikesbaker, on 03/17/2008, -7/+2A
  A
  B
  B
  A
  learn to rhyme
  - diggstown, on 03/17/2008, -0/+4@Mikesbaker, "AABBA learn to rhyme" is the crappiest limerick I've ever seen... and there was nothing wrong with Unicron's rhyming (a bit of artistic license between cult and fault).
unicronband, on 03/17/2008, -1/+27The Limerick Roll

There once was a singer named Rick
Had a video that made people sick
Then many a troll
Would link to Rickroll
For the many who give it a click

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
- Swarms, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1There once was a man named Bertold
  Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
  As he reached for his cup...
  "NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
  Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!
  http://limerickdb.com/?searched
ocendot, on 03/17/2008, -0/+9There once was a farmer whose bride
left him quite dissatisfied
he silenced his passion
in mechanical fashion
till the milker blew up and he died
- typicalusername, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5Dugg for masturbation using farm products!
ocendot, on 03/17/2008, -5/+4There once was a man named Glass
whose balls were constructed of brass
when jangled together
they payed "Stormy Weather"
and lightning shot out of his ass
- unicronband, on 03/17/2008, -0/+27Your limerick has epically failed
  Like Christ to the cross you've been nailed
  This is no place for n00bs
  GTFO the tubez
  Before this sweet thread gets derailed
frogman54, on 03/17/2008, -1/+21There once was a man who turned purple
Umm...crap. Never mind.
typicalusername, on 03/17/2008, -11/+1There once was a boy in cube
Reading Digg in the nude
All of his co-workers fret
Thinking that he lost a bet
In reality it's his prick 'tude..
mentallyinhell, on 03/17/2008, -8/+2There once was a man from Nantucket...
BryanTravers, on 03/17/2008, -1/+14Now all I think in is rhyme
These limericks are wasting my time
I should start to work
'Cause my boss is a jerk
But today I just won't earn a dime
- almightyzam, on 03/18/2008, -0/+4Don't worry, don't live in fear
  I'm sure your boss is not that queer
  Just sit down with him,
  and with a wide grin,
  Tell him "let's have a beer"
PrettyMuchBryce, on 03/17/2008, -1/+76A comment on digg is a way,
For others to see what you say,
When someone is dumb,
You click the red thumb,
and it makes what they said go away.
- unicronband, on 03/17/2008, -0/+32Your comment is epic and win
  To not digg you up is a sin
  To digg up twice
  Would be mighty nice
  Need I not go sign out and log in
nosecohn, on 03/17/2008, -1/+15The price of my house keeps a'falling
They say the economy's stalling
Bernanke yells "stop!"
With another rate drop
But the size of this mess is appalling
- michael43, on 03/18/2008, -5/+1Buy low, sell high, become a real estate executive
  When in college, that's what all of the texts said
  I followed the experts advice
  And I was doing quite nice
  But after Bush, my assets are negative
  - Karmavs, on 03/18/2008, -3/+1Does 'said' end in an 'iv' sound?
    AABBA
    - michael43, on 03/18/2008, -5/+1Does "suck my dick" end in the "ik" sound? To you it probably sounds like yummmmm, you're a grammer fairy.
CanadaMan87, on 03/17/2008, -0/+23A limerick packs laughs anatomical
In a space that is quite economical
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical
Cakebread2, on 03/17/2008, -6/+0There once was a man named Hakmed
Who found lots of hair on his head
"Good gracious!" cried he,
"What a discovery!"
That was 400 years ago, now he's dead

There once was a fellow named Hugs
Who liked pugs and chilling with thugs.
The thugs danced all day
They would say, "let's all play!"
Were Hugs' thugs' parents on drugs?
santaliqueur, on 03/17/2008, -0/+22There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
in a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
santaliqueur, on 03/17/2008, -11/+2There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
in a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
joot2112, on 03/17/2008, -0/+8Written by my friend Tomo:
while(income < spend) {
foreach( u != friend ) {
if ( u[drank] == wine) {
u[wallet] = mine; }
else { u = sober; return;} } }
end;
phonetic translation: while income is less than spend, foreach u not equal to friend if u drank is wine u wallet is mine else u is sober, return, end
DamnLogins, on 03/17/2008, -3/+7There once was a Benedictine monk,
Who fell fast asleep in his bunk,
He dreamt that Venus,
Was sucking his elbow,
And woke all covered in perspiration
CaptainWeasel, on 03/17/2008, -4/+19There once was a man named Bertold
Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
As he reached for his cup...
"NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!

http://limerickdb.com/?383
- gak001, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Repeat.
Spoomeister, on 03/17/2008, -0/+6This site I advise to eschew,
For reasons quite simple. Here's two:
It takes 3 pages (how lame!)
No swearing (how tame!)
Please, deprive her of ad revenue.
Lhurgoyf, on 03/18/2008, -2/+0And for the mathematicians:

If M is a complete metric space,
And if its nonempty, its always the case,
If f is a contraction,
Then under its action,
Exactly one point stays in place!

Extra points if you can state the proof in limerick form...
- HeDiggMe, on 03/18/2008, -0/+6A mathematician named Hall
  has hexahedronical balls
  the square of their weight
  times his pecker, plus eight
  Is his phone number. Give him a call.
TinternAbbot, on 03/18/2008, -1/+10It's not just rhyme, it's meter. Many of these limericks exhibit proper end-rhyme but the rhythm is completely wrong.
Kevinman, on 03/18/2008, -0/+6i live in limerick! in irelnad! im drunk! davids a foool!
neojinge, on 03/18/2008, -3/+1After seeing the Digged-Up Limerick Feast,
My surfing of this page has ceased.
The ryhmes are in poor Health,
I can write better myself;
As the quality varies to say the least!
- michael43, on 03/18/2008, -2/+1It's a shame to see you quit
  As you were better then most of these twits
  But when all's said and done
  It's still just a pun
  And honestly, I don't give a *****.
glasnt, on 03/18/2008, -1/+19, ` & #
$ @ | + . -
8 7 6 5 4
" * _
? ; ! AS;DOFB2

(Comma tick ampersand hash,
Dollar at pipe plus dot dash.
Eight sev'n six five four,
Quote star underscore,
Question mark semi-colon bang MASH.)
- mishmish48, on 03/18/2008, -2/+2wow, its hard enough to write a limerick but this is a whole nother level of clever
  - gak001, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Nother.... interesting word.
  - Slices, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I like it.
studiocitizen, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2There once was a monkey named Joe
Who was looking for something to throw
He searched all around
But all that he found
Was something you don't want to know
- michael43, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Joe smiled when in flew a bird
  He caught him with the first finger and third
  Although it said please
  Joe gave it a squeeze
  And had a handful of bird turd
sobebelushi, on 03/18/2008, -5/+3There once was divine caroline
who surely was sued every time
she tried to be clever
no chance she got better
Limerickdb.com is already mine!

Horrible meter and rhyme i know, but seriously... go to www.limerickdb.com
Started by Randall Munroe of xkcd fame...
stormgren, on 03/18/2008, -0/+5function createLimerick() {
string scanning="terribly slick";
if(lines==5 && rhyme=="live")
doLaugh();
perform(new Trick());
}
ebcreasoner, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1There once was a dude named Jude.
Who's wife was always a prude.
He wanted to get laid.
So he stood in the shade.
Of a big fat hairy baboon.
- michael43, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2There once was a dude named Jude.
  Who's wife was always a prude.
  He wanted to get laid.
  So he stood in the shade.
  And told a digger he had some ass lube
irishpal25, on 03/18/2008, -3/+0im soo ***** drunk an d at work wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo is bra liom st.patricks day mar ta said go hiontach
- Karmavs, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1Remember: AABBA
Shootfast, on 03/18/2008, -0/+3There was a zookeep from Nantucket
Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it
He was thrown from the cage
By a pinniped's rage.
Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"
http://limerickdb.com/?189
yosserhughes, on 03/18/2008, -3/+0There was a young policewoman called Annie
With flies, lice and crabs up her fanny
When up her flue
It was like touring the zoo
Wild beasts in every nook and cranny

There was a young lady from Lieth
Who drew back foreskins with her teeth
It wasn't for pleasure
and it wasn't for leisure
it was to get at the green cheese underneath
michael43, on 03/18/2008, -5/+2There's a site called digg.com
A+ students love it and miss their own proms
They are Intellectual and bright
And they argue all night
As the dumb guys are banging their moms
booktinker, on 03/18/2008, -2/+0In one of the first episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Data overheard but was not able to finish reciting a limerick he had heard. After all this time, I recently remembered that intriguing beginning and it just hit me how to finish it...

There once was a woman from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a penis.
She had for a spouse, a vagina-shaped louse.
When rubbed wrong, she'd spit out of meanness.
Show 51 - 68 of 68 discussions
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