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11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep

men.webmd.com — There comes a time in every man's life when he discovers the value of hiding the grosser parts of his nature.He starts reciting the sweet nothings you long to hear: "No, honey, I play golf for the exercise." "No, honey, I think you're a great driver." "No, honey, I wasn't looking at that coed washing the car in the rain."

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  • JewelsNorth, on 04/18/2008, -24/+7What about how I actually look in these jeans?
    • NeedzABetterSN, on 03/28/2008, -6/+11"No honey, you look great. I didn't mean to say your skin is like silly putty."
      • ploop, on 03/28/2008, -8/+2My brother had a great idea once... crash a wedding and heckle the bride.
        Your ass looks big in that dress!
        You might just get killed
        • piesforyou, on 03/28/2008, -1/+7Fantastic.
        • Cloudime, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1Define your definition of "great idea" to us, I think we'll all stand in horror.
      • knobtwiddler, on 03/28/2008, -6/+1#12 "We all like to have sex with farm animals"
        c'mon guys, admit it!
    • Testiculese, on 03/28/2008, -1/+21If you ask a question to which you don't want to hear the answer, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.

      You know what you look like in the jeans. If you have a fat ass, don't make us lie. If you have a great ass, we'll tell you without being prompted.
    • theOster, on 03/28/2008, -1/+11"i really can't tell - i'm blinded by your beauty"

      works for everything from said blue jean inquiries to teh nebulous "do you notice anything different?"
    • kesam, on 03/28/2008, -1/+2Like a truckload. Of elephants.
    • BurnTees, on 03/28/2008, -2/+13it's not the jeans that make you look fat, it's your fat that makes you look fat.
  • TremorX, on 03/28/2008, -9/+144"No, honey, I was just washing it."
  • zaxnyd, on 03/28/2008, -44/+21This has been posted before. Too lazy to find it.
    • santaliqueur, on 03/28/2008, -3/+37Thanks for the useless post.
    • Unlgued, on 03/28/2008, -0/+25Yeah, maybe Digg needs a "classics" section.
    • mywhitenoise, on 03/28/2008, -0/+13This has been posted like 3 times before...in the span of a year. It's not even a good article.
    • LarryLacuna, on 03/28/2008, -0/+5Right here:
      http://digg.com/health/11_Don_t_Tell_the_Wife_Secr ...
    • cyberwiz01, on 03/28/2008, -0/+11Notice the "_10" after the article title in the URL, that means that the exact same headline has been posted 9 times before.
    • troye, on 03/28/2008, -2/+1Okay, I'm going to be the digger's advocate here. Why did people digg him down? ... idiots.
    • TheUndertoker, on 03/28/2008, -0/+4Not all of us are on Digg 24/7...some of us just might be new and haven't seen that particular article before. If you have seen an artile before, I have an idea for you...skip over it!
    • theeEqualizer, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1NOTHING has been posted on Digg more times than complaints from someone who has already seen the story posted. I don't give a crap if YOU have seen in. I clicked on it because I haven't. Why did YOU open it if you've already seen it? Just to stop by and feel superior because we haven't seen everything you have? Is your life really that empty? Does posting that comment again and again really thrill you that much? Then why don't you go find an HBO message board where you can just complain 24 hours a day that you've "already seen every one of these movies"?
  • ISmokesDaPot420, on 03/28/2008, -10/+98To digg this and let women better understand us? Or to bury and keep the cards in our hand? Hmm
    • NoCt1, on 03/28/2008, -9/+5your right. bury.
      • althanis, on 03/28/2008, -0/+10You're right.
        • JavertHolmes, on 03/28/2008, -0/+30Maybe he was giving directions on where to put the corpse.
        • Frost9999, on 03/28/2008, -2/+1Or asserting the OP's right to bury.
    • proghead, on 03/28/2008, -3/+15Does it matter? it's not like any women are going to see this anyway...
      • elmixtli, on 03/28/2008, -0/+2Or care.
      • Myztry, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2Some may see it, but as it's not about 'her feelings' it's going to be akin to 'domestic deafness'
    • JettaMan, on 03/28/2008, -6/+6There's some subtle propaganda in this article. "And because she works harder, she keeps closing the gap." Ahem... right. Men work way harder than women in the workplace, and smarter. This little myth about how women work so much damn harder than men is politically correct propaganda. Most women I've worked with were very good at talking, not so much on grunt work.
      • girlpirate, on 03/28/2008, -5/+8first of all...***** you and your generalisations. second of all he said HIS WIFE worked harder than HIM.
        and the "myth" isnt that women work harder. its that women have to work harder at the same job to get the same pay as a man.
        • JettaMan, on 03/29/2008, -2/+6No, ***** you. I'm sick of ***** is all. Truth doesn't do so well in a politically correct environment. The fact is men are and always have been the ones who have advanced civilization to incredible heights. Women have been there doing an important job too, but lets not start making up crap just so we can all feel better.
          • girlpirate, on 03/30/2008, -0/+1for the sake of honesty, I know that men are stronger than women and I know what men have done for the world. men built the world. women had the babies and kept the home. its a beneficial and important relationship. but I also believe that keeping the women down is bad. not being treated as first class citizens is wrong. Women deserve equal treatment in all ways. if a woman doesn't work as hard as a man she shouldnt get paid the same. the same goes for the reverse. Im not going to go all feminazi on anyone. Im one of those wacko women who truly believes that the death of the stay-at-home mother as the norm was a damn shame. I believe its a lot of whats ***** up kids these days. I have been called the anti-feminist but I don't feel thats true. I just think its logical. I just feel that equal=/= same.
            apologies for the bitchtasticness of my initial response. It must be pretty close to that time of the month or something.
    • kesam, on 03/28/2008, -1/+3I seriously don't understand why admitting any of these is a problem. How good can your relationship be if you have to lie to your wife / gf about mundane things like that.
    • microchp, on 03/28/2008, -1/+1Funbuddies dot Net and there is no fight club.
    • DopeWeasel, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1Well, I just sent it to my girlfriend...
      ...hope she's not my new ex-girlfriend.
  • ReadVonnegut, on 03/28/2008, -15/+17712. I'm doing your sister.
    • Calcularius, on 03/28/2008, -6/+6913. I'm doing your brother.
    • rholland356, on 03/28/2008, -4/+5314. We call ourselves "The Aristocrats!"
      • microchp, on 03/28/2008, -0/+6LOL!!! My favorite! I get in trouble for telling that one...
    • floridiot2, on 03/28/2008, -1/+2915. I am your brother.
    • 4eloBek, on 03/28/2008, -5/+1316. Doing your mum.
      17. Doing your auntie.
      18. Doing your DAD!
    • hobbers, on 03/28/2008, -1/+41Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
      Peter thinking: Don't say doing you wife. Don't say doing your wife.
      Peter: Doing your, uh, son...
      • Parkinsons, on 03/28/2008, -1/+6Celebrating the five year anniversary of this interview.
    • therearenorules, on 03/28/2008, -2/+1319. I drink your milkshake!
      • Myonosken, on 03/28/2008, -0/+8Damn right, its better than yours.
      • herecomes, on 03/29/2008, -0/+0Actually, I didn't want a milkshake but I drank yours to try to keep you from getting so ***** fat.
    • herecomes, on 03/29/2008, -2/+61. I'm ***** a) some chick I met on Craigslist, b) some slut I met at a party at our friends' house, c) your mother, or d all of the above.
      2. If you'd put out more than twice a year I wouldn't need to do 1.
      3. Your Mom is hotter than you are.
      4. If you didn't own half my assets I'd dump you in a second.
      5. I only think you're attractive when I'm drunk.
      6. I need to watch porn in order to ***** you.
      7. I ***** that hooker without a condom. So sue me.
      8. Yes, anal sex should be a conjugal right.
      9. Every deep conversation we have about our relationship makes me despise you more.
      10. I drink so much because I'm trying to kill myself "Leaving Las Vegas" style, not because I'm a connoisseur.
      11. When you drive I'm secretly hoping you'll kill us all.
  • funkyp56, on 03/28/2008, -17/+3Don't tell my wife.......I read Digg
    • ExSlashdotter, on 03/28/2008, -5/+4Just find a wife that reads digg too. Trust me.
  • slvrbullet87, on 03/28/2008, -7/+18I didnt go to the strip club with the guys
  • gypsi, on 03/28/2008, -35/+66``Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime''

    buried
    • PixelMagic, on 03/28/2008, -10/+10I'll give her some inches. If you know what I mean.
    • Pulch, on 03/28/2008, -2/+41You kidding me? I'd rather commit to somebody who lets me have free time, than somebody who always wants to be with me. I won't even date a chick if she doesn't give me space. Learned my lesson enough already.
      • 10lbhammer, on 03/28/2008, -2/+16wholeheartedly agreed. I went on a first date earlier this week, and my date got mad at *me* because some girl flirted with me and I didn't tell her to shove it up her ass.

        probably needless to say, but I don't think I'll be going on any more dates with that one...
        • twisterrust, on 03/28/2008, -2/+16what is this "date" that you guys talk of?
        • Sheff, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1In Batman Begins its when Bruce Wayne is driving those girls around who get wet and naked and then buys that hotel before he runs into Katie Holmes.
      • VeritasAequitas, on 03/28/2008, -2/+6I'm with you, I'm getting married in October and one of the number one reasons I fell for her in the first place is that she trusted me enough to not freak out when I would go away for the weekend with my drinking buddies when for all intent and purpose she probably shouldn't have and she doesn't care when I am pretty much distracted all the time in the fall during hunting season. Same thing goes for me now though, if she wants to go hang out with her girlfriends from college, I don't stress it, I know where she's sleeping that night :)
    • IglooBurner, on 03/28/2008, -3/+6this is probably the most important one out of all the secrets.
    • revnoah, on 03/28/2008, -1/+6To say an inch gets a lifetime is simplistic, but essentially true in that no man likes a controlling nag.
  • bimtott, on 03/28/2008, -4/+18wtf is this doing on WebMD? Next they'll be putting Page Six on Bloomberg.com...
  • sadsadrobot, on 03/28/2008, -16/+49Old story is old. Buried.
    • leerayIG88, on 03/28/2008, -2/+2I wish I had Girlfriend to start with........omg
    • RP53, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1ding ding ding
      winrar
    • TheUndertoker, on 03/28/2008, -3/+4Not everyone is on Digg 24/7, douchebag.
      • MrWally, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2Yes, that's very true.

        I only check digg once or twice a day (if that) , and yet I've still seen this article more times than I can remember.
  • scottnash, on 03/28/2008, -8/+309God, I despise these cliche ridden articles that reduce all men to the equivalent of Tim Allen on Home Improvement.
    • nbcaffeine, on 03/28/2008, -1/+73arrrrrrough?
    • archaist, on 03/28/2008, -0/+70This is what I love about Digg. I never have to worry about writing my own comments, because someone's already done it for me. Thumbs upped.
    • rapunzell, on 03/28/2008, -1/+21And all women to either paranoid hags or idiots who can't deal with reality.
    • grimward, on 03/28/2008, -1/+9*gives scottnash a digg and chimes in*
      Now, let's bury the ***** out of this article, once and for all!
    • bomb288, on 03/28/2008, -1/+28I buried it for "Just be aware that the part of our brain that processes this stuff is where we store sports trivia."
      • daborg, on 03/28/2008, -0/+19That's exactly the point at which I decided that this article is a stereotypical piece of crap that needs to be buried.
      • soundofmind, on 03/28/2008, -6/+1Hey, that's why I dug the article!
      • opnickc, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2Replace "sports" with "videogame" or "computer" or "political" and the same point gets across. It's just a generational thing if you ask me.
    • aliceinreality, on 03/28/2008, -0/+5so, i accidentally dug you down due to my mouse's infinite wisdom, but i just wanted to say that i agree with you. =D
    • sgtpppr, on 03/28/2008, -0/+12These have to be ghost written by women or some male writers have really bought into this marketing stereotype that males are basically animals with little to no brain power. One article rants against men who won't 'be men' and help raise their kids and another goes to length about how simplistic and unnecessary men are outside of fixing ***** around the house. It's one thing to portray one or two men this way, but it seems like 90% of the male figures in commercials, articles, and tv shows are pretty much chimpanzees with a little bit of pragmatism.
    • Terasiel, on 03/29/2008, -2/+1There's nothing as demeaning to a man's self-image or as devolving to society's standards as using stereotypes, such as these, to define an entire group. Particularly a group that did not, and could not, choose being put into that group. Male. Female. When we're not engaging in romance or sexuality why can't we all just be humans?
    • fuzzybeard, on 03/29/2008, -2/+1You say that like it's a bad thing?
    • 21Chucks, on 03/29/2008, -1/+1It's funny how we digg the article AND this comment.
  • jimjoke, on 03/28/2008, -11/+15112. We wear your used panties on our heads when you're at work
    • douchewag, on 03/28/2008, -12/+3we wear your bra like belts around our waists.lmao
    • geneticlone, on 03/28/2008, -4/+21um, speak for yourself.
    • duo8675309, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1Rarely do I ever actually "laugh out loud," but this time... LOL.
  • dagnabbit, on 03/28/2008, -15/+19#12 - we fap.
    • damnitdaniel, on 03/28/2008, -3/+12heh. I finally wikipedia'd "fap". I get it now.
      • harveywalbanger, on 03/29/2008, -1/+2Oh, me too - i see FAP means a condition where polyps form in the large intestine. (Familial Adenomatous Polyposis). Or is it a member of the Peruvian Airforce? (Fuerza Aérea del Peru). I crack myself up.
    • GeckoSlayer, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2You're dating the wrong person if she doesn't know you fap o.O
      • herecomes, on 03/29/2008, -1/+0Actually... the weasel whacking starts day 2 of the marriage. Up until then they're still putting out so no need. If they weren't we wouldn't have made it to the altar.
  • pandatacular, on 03/28/2008, -8/+72i'm a girl and the only thing that is ***** me off is this has been front page before and recently.
    • surKaz, on 03/28/2008, -2/+8only thing??.. How about most people on the planet know this stuff.. It's like the movies... That's not how we are... well some aspects... but it was more like this article was written to make the authors wife and other women feel good and all warm inside.
      It's nice and all. but it doesn't have anything new...or original..
      • RedReplicant, on 03/28/2008, -0/+19It's not even nice. It's stupid and condescending towards both men and women. Belongs in Maxim or Cosmo or one of those other trash publications, and probably came from there.
      • pandatacular, on 03/28/2008, -1/+1I realize it's stupid, and it IS very condescending. I don't see how it could make any one feel warm and fuzzy inside, if it's anything like I remember. It doesn't ***** me off though.
    • antdude, on 03/29/2008, -3/+4There are no girls on the Internet. Prove it that you're a girl! :P
    • noahgelman, on 03/29/2008, -4/+2Your a girl? Will you go out with me?
      • pandatacular, on 04/02/2008, -0/+1It's "you're," and no for that... heh
  • douchewag, on 03/28/2008, -4/+12Secret cash deposited in another account.
    • Y0tsuya, on 03/28/2008, -0/+11If by cash you mean DNA, and if by account you mean chick, and if by DNA you mean your sperm.
  • Brownds, on 03/28/2008, -8/+4Mr .Ty Wenger please turn in your Man Card ASAP you sell out!
  • Marglar, on 03/28/2008, -7/+34do these pants make my butt look big? no, your butt makes your butt look big.

    sorry, I don't lie. :)
    • LoneJeeper, on 03/28/2008, -2/+17"no honey, it's your ass that does that" has cost me more than one relationship. did the ***** jeans look fat on the floor?
      • Marglar, on 03/28/2008, -2/+2rofl. that's a good point. I don't even sweeten it up with a pet name even, I just say how it is.. my girlfriends awesome though and doesn't take offense.
        • infinitiesedge, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1 Liar.
          • Marglar, on 03/30/2008, -0/+0now what purpose what I have lying about something like that, to a bunch of anon digtards? that would be sad to feel the need to make some sort of weird ***** up like that to impress some people you will never communicate with again.

            then again, maybe I'm just an asshole, but I don't lie about any of the little ***** like that. If she asks me if I missed her (because we were apart all day at work), I say no. I'm not going to miss someone that I see every day unless theres a more significant time away from each other =p

            some might lie about things like that cause it makes life easier, but I tell it how it is, and in the end the woman appreciates it cause she feels I'm always 100% honest with her, and I am. that doesn't mean if I let her know that her butt makes her butt look big that I don't follow up with a compliment of some sort that is also true, though.
    • halobender, on 03/28/2008, -0/+3Single?
    • Scaryclouds, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1Or get laid...
    • fuzzybeard, on 03/29/2008, -1/+2My answer?
      Oooooohhh, YES!!! Then proceed to pounce on the booty like a lion on an antelope.
  • VyPR, on 03/28/2008, -6/+8912. This arcticle was written by a bull-dyke named Phyllis
  • RudeTurnip, on 03/28/2008, -8/+3Buried to keep it that way. =)
  • Hobbes24, on 03/28/2008, -2/+24pretty sure this is the 2nd or 3rd time this has been posted...
  • ghosttown80, on 03/28/2008, -7/+16I lol'd at the driving comment, as cliche as it is.
  • TomT223, on 03/28/2008, -3/+38#12. We love to get head. Wait. That's not a secret is it?
    • Nysul, on 03/28/2008, -0/+35Apparently it becomes a secret once you get married, no matter how much you iterate otherwise.
      • Deputy_Doodah, on 03/28/2008, -0/+9Same thing with any other type of sex.
    • Monarch818, on 03/28/2008, -8/+2Secret #1 for Women.
      WE HATE TO GIVE HEAD!!!
      But it is an evil necessity at times, but most women would rather eat live worms than give head.
      • gotterdammerung, on 03/28/2008, -1/+6Lies.
      • eaterofpies, on 03/28/2008, -0/+4speak for yourself. i happen to love it.
      • hollyminkowski, on 03/28/2008, -0/+3It's enjoyable...
        But here is a hint guys... WASH IT
        It just has to be clean...just has to be...
      • physco827, on 03/29/2008, -0/+3"I love a woman that loves nothing more than to suck a dick. When I see a woman that doesn't like to suck a dick I look at her like shes a damn betamax, like They still make you?"
        -Chris Rock
  • josemp81, on 03/28/2008, -9/+143Correction -------- Secret #10: We'll always wish YOU were 25 again
    • Thing2, on 03/28/2008, -1/+1hahahahahahahaa - shhhh - we're trying to help them not harm them!
  • Brownds, on 03/28/2008, -2/+9Uhhh Buried as inaccurate.... /shifty eyes
  • stonklit, on 03/28/2008, -18/+12"Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you"

    Uh.... riiiight. Golf? Really? More accurate to say "we do [anything we enjoy with frequency] to get away from you"

    and...

    "Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive"

    Women drive just fine. Why is this even in here?
    • zzzpoohzzz, on 03/28/2008, -6/+11no they don't drive fine... i get scared ***** half the time a woman is driving the car i'm in... seriously i don't know what to blame it on but like 85% of bad drivers are either a.) women or b.) asian
      • bobcatred, on 03/28/2008, -7/+5That's okay, we're terrified when you drive too. And your insurance is higher than ours.
      • therearenorules, on 03/28/2008, -1/+5where i'm from, the bad drivers are white and they all drive raised pick up trucks with decals that have Calvin ***** on stuff.
    • cha5e, on 03/28/2008, -2/+5I think different people mean different things when they say "drive".
      My wife is better than me at operating a car on a public road without getting a ticket, or making another driver give her the finger.
      I am better than my wife at navigation, i.e. finding my destination without getting lost. I am also better at things like "stop on that coin" or "go through that space that's barely wider than the car".
      So, which is a better driver? I'd say that's a judgment call.
      • subliminalurge, on 03/28/2008, -0/+10Somehow it's the drivers that are constantly getting speeding tickets, and maybe even had their license suspended a time or two, that I usually end up feeling most comfortable riding with.

        I know many people who have never been pulled over that make me afraid for my life when I'm with them. Eyes everywhere except the road. Constant swerving. Braking at the very last second. I'm not only amazed that some of these people have never gotten a ticket, I'm amazed that they've been driving like this for 20+ years and are still alive.

        All I ask is that people watch the road and drive in a straight line. I know drivers who I'd be comfortable riding with at 100+ mph, and I know drivers who can scare the living ***** out of me at 30 mph.
    • slayersotaku, on 03/28/2008, -0/+5My ex terrified me when she drove. Always bouncing and singing along to her crappy music. I made the mistake of letting her drive my car once... I'm missing a good chunk of paint on the driver's door.

      Statistically we hear that men get in more accidents than women. It's only because we commit.
    • Y0tsuya, on 03/28/2008, -0/+7I still remember the time I saw a woman make a U-turn in a minivan. She was going 2-3mph and still managed to crash dead center into the traffic signal pole. As a male, I can't begin to imagine what was going through her mind before the crash.
    • stonklit, on 03/29/2008, -3/+0Nah, women drive just fine.

      You're all just pretty much stupid :)

      That's like saying blacks/asians/mexican's can't drive. I can't even believe half of you ***** got dugg up for that.
      • slayersotaku, on 03/31/2008, -0/+1tell that to the deer she smacked into.
  • Jeffiner25, on 03/28/2008, -3/+4I've seen this on digg a few times but on WebMD?!?!? really! I love: Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive. I love that one. I'll be a wife in 79 days and all these "secrets" aren't bad at all.
  • peterjmag, on 03/28/2008, -2/+7The article on one page: http://men.webmd.com/features/11-dont-tell-the-wif ...
  • antonio97b, on 03/28/2008, -2/+26Secret #11 sounds like an excuse for the woman to screw another guy behind his back.
    "No no honey, I WANT you to go on vacation. No. I'll be fine all by myself. I'll just hang out with the girls all week. I'll be sure to call you once or twice."
    • whywait, on 03/28/2008, -1/+5you beat me to it. well done sir.
    • teh_techie, on 03/28/2008, -2/+6Sounds like YOU are a little paranoid... Should you be?
    • microchp, on 03/28/2008, -5/+1Both the man and woman should play and understand the others will play. Just learn how to do it right and not get caught. Just be FunBuddies and follow the rules and nobody gets hurt.
    • betterth, on 03/29/2008, -1/+1I disagree, just because you marry someone or are invovled with someone doesn't mean that you now are obligated to spend every waking moment with each other.

      And you can spend a week apart without ***** other people.

      If you can't, it's a ***** relationship anyway. That or you're a horny little bugger.
  • chanop, on 03/28/2008, -4/+37"It's ok honey, you can go to bed, I'll bring the babysitter home"
  • Ne007, on 03/28/2008, -9/+30Where's the part where we want to have sex with under-aged girls in Thailand?
  • ralphthemagi, on 03/28/2008, -11/+2411 "Stupid Generalizations And Tired Clichés Designed To Get On Social Networking Sites Like Digg.com Over And Over Again In Order To Generate Revenue Via Ads"

    Fail.
  • invisiblehat, on 03/28/2008, -8/+30I feel very lucky to have a gf who likes girls just as much as I do. We check out girls together. It avoids a lot of ***** and problems.
    As a human male, you are going to be attracted to other human females. If this were not the case, the human race would've died out along time ago.
    And guess what? Your female will see other males and think they are attractive. This is human nature.
    If you don't have an open, honest, and mature relationship, then just don't go there and ask questions you really don't want an answer for.
    Girls- if you see a sexy female and you are with your man, and you wonder if he thinks that she is attractive, then he definitely does. Don't even ask.
    • Niomi, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2You are completely right. I check out chicks with my husband and it's one of our favorite past times.
  • orangester, on 03/28/2008, -4/+814. I'm doing your mother.
  • Clobbersaurus, on 03/28/2008, -10/+5This is stupid.
  • Contention, on 03/28/2008, -8/+3FTA: "In fact, she MADE me go."

    3 years before you married, huh? Eever asked her WHY she made you go? Trust me, tiger.. She wanted you to go ALONE for a REASON, and it wasn't for YOUR happiness, if ya know what I mean. ;)




  • Pilot85, on 03/28/2008, -1/+61My woman lets me play the video games without complaint or passive-aggressiveness. I love her.
    • kazersoza, on 03/28/2008, -0/+15Same here... guess we both be lucky.
    • jexxie, on 03/28/2008, -0/+12Keep her, she's a gem.
      • GeckoSlayer, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2My girlfriend beats me in all the video games, should I keep her?
    • DigTheDoug, on 03/28/2008, -2/+23It gives her time to spend with a man who can satisfy her sexually.

      Woo for stereotypes!
    • psychotron, on 03/28/2008, -0/+12Yes, that one trait cannot be overlooked. Not only does my wife not get bothered by me playing games, she usually enjoys seeing me play them. She is looking forward to God Of War 3 simply to see me play through it. Awesome indeed.
      • silvernymph, on 03/28/2008, -7/+1she'll watch you play but won't play with you? lame.
      • theneb29, on 03/28/2008, -0/+7its great she's at least to see u play and sure it makes her happy. ur lucky!
      • psychotron, on 03/28/2008, -0/+3@ silvernymph: I don't understand your comment at all. Yes, she enjoys watching me play the game and there is nothing wrong with her not wanting to play it.
    • cphelps, on 03/28/2008, -0/+10Same here. My wife likes watching as long as I talk to her while I'm playing, even if we just talk about the game. :)
    • meekerunger, on 03/29/2008, -0/+5However cool that may be, you still said she 'lets' you play. She still holds the power to forbid.
      • Pilot85, on 04/06/2008, -0/+1Bad choice of words, really, as I don't ask her every time I want to play. But of course she still has that power. She simply does not use it.
    • queenstarsha, on 03/29/2008, -1/+1i'm cool with my fiance's warcraft time. that's my digg troll time!
  • krisscofield, on 03/28/2008, -5/+2Slap.
  • OstrakonX, on 03/28/2008, -4/+25This is retarded.

    "We actually play golf to get away from you."

    Seriously, what the ***** is that?
    • zomgwaffles, on 03/28/2008, -1/+2"you listen to me. I need this okay? My wife, my job, my kids. every day is exactly the same. yea, i go golfing on sundays, but i HATE golf. Don't blackball me Mitch, please!"
    • blueandgreen24, on 03/29/2008, -0/+3the truth
  • kazersoza, on 03/28/2008, -2/+25Honey I want to have a threesome with you and "that coed washing the car in the rain"
  • HolmWrecker, on 03/28/2008, -10/+23Not all. I been married for 15 years and can honestly testify that I have not lied to or kept secret anything from my wife, never. My first wife is a different story; I learned all the mistakes to make the first time around.
    The key to ANY kind of relationship is the truth. Any lies or secrets WILL come back on you, this I promise.
    If you lie to your spouse or keep secrets....It's only a matter of time....your relationship is Doomed. Doomed with no other option.
    A serious relationship must be based on truth. Love and trust are like a fine crystal glass...it can ONLY be broken once. You can try to cobble it back together, but it's still busted glass and therefore a waste of time to continue trying to repair.
    You guys that lie and think your pulling a slick one: The only one you fool is yourself. While the victims feel only hurt.
    • Kenzan, on 03/28/2008, -6/+22Heh.
      Good response.
      Your wife has trained you well.
      • celkin, on 03/29/2008, -1/+1You got one more digg than the previous comment. That means you won!
    • GarciasCheese, on 03/28/2008, -6/+7Kenzan's right. Your balls must be in a jar on her kitchen windowsill.
    • Y0tsuya, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1Nah trick is finding a wife who won't mind all the skeletons in your closet. Then you can tell her everything.
    • sgtpppr, on 03/28/2008, -0/+8Why is it that people who have been married more than once immediately believe they are qualified to give advice on marriage and relationships. The other day I saw an interview with Larry King explaining how to find 'the right one'. Apparently, it involves 'upgrading' every few years by getting divorced and finding a younger woman.
    • mahdaeng, on 03/28/2008, -4/+2I'm surprised you haven't been dugg down. Usually anything less than boo-ya, testosterone-driven, puffer-fish-ism on Digg plummets into oblivion. You get a digg from me.
      • LloydBentsen, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1Boo-ya? I'm totally going to try to bring that one back now, thanks.
      • mahdaeng, on 03/31/2008, -0/+1Case in point.
    • microchp, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1I believe that people will do what people will do. Rather than preaching what should not be done (which will be done anyway), rather teach people HOW to do it without getting caught so that they protect their family. Maybe they will grow out of it, maybe they won't, but at least be smart about it. Sloppy, lazy mistakes often cost all-your-money (alimony) , child support, lots of ***** off people. Telling someone to just be good is like telling your kids to always just be good.
    • gnomeh, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1I agree. I rather live my life for what it is than a bunch of lies and games. Who has time for that ***** in their life? Find someone you can be honest with and then you aren't the whipped one. I'd say you're whipped you're worried enough you have to lie to your partner and hide the fun in your life.
  • ProjectGSX, on 03/28/2008, -3/+9"My wife has about one 'car panic' story a week -- and it's never her fault. All these horrible things just keep happening -- it must be her bad luck," says Andy Beshuk, 31, of Jefferson City, Missouri.

    So true.
    • spasticjedi, on 03/29/2008, -3/+4Funnily enough, my husband comes home with "car panic" stories at least three times a week.

      He's also had more speeding tickets than me.

      Men can be ***** drivers, too, you know.
      • queenstarsha, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1men are way worse drivers. ask the insurance companies. i guess the "secrets" didn't claim to be based on facts and reason.
  • ellem, on 03/28/2008, -6/+1#9
  • dhVyse, on 03/28/2008, -4/+18Was this written by a women? Seems very anti-male to me. Like we just can't control ourselves or something. Not all of us are horn dog male whores, obviously. Buried.
    • teh_techie, on 03/28/2008, -4/+3Well, it's MOSTLY true. If you don't look every opportunity you get, either you're deeply religious, or equally disturbed in some other way.
      • kev92486, on 03/29/2008, -0/+3Some men actually have something called 'respect' for women. Try it sometime.
        • queenstarsha, on 03/29/2008, -0/+2also, respect for themselves. what a pathetic existence to walk around thinking nothing but "whoa! boobs! whoa! boobs! whoa! boobs!" all day. even the dogs i know have richer internal lives.
  • geneticlone, on 03/28/2008, -13/+12***** THE RIAA! Wait what?
  • bicyclethief, on 03/28/2008, -9/+412. Even though I say it's not, those dutch ovens are intentional.
  • SilentRamble42, on 03/28/2008, -2/+1While everything else is either cheesy or just stupid, dugg for 6 and 9
    • nbcaffeine, on 03/28/2008, -1/+6who wouldn't digg 6 and 9?

      giggity
  • czeman, on 03/28/2008, -9/+3I don't keep it a secret from my wife that I think Alyssa Milano, Sarah Michelle Gellar, The Olsen Twins, The Deal or No Deal models (fap fap fap), and more are all HOT.
  • Amadeus2490, on 03/28/2008, -2/+45Buried for shrimp-flavored Ramen; every man in his right mind eats chicken, or beef.
    • bicyclethief, on 03/28/2008, -4/+19They all taste the same no matter what flavor it's supposed to be.
      • PhoneJack, on 03/28/2008, -0/+14Except chicken
      • cphelps, on 03/28/2008, -0/+9As phonejack said, chicken most definitely has it's own taste. The rest still taste like recycled cardboard though.
        • Amadeus2490, on 03/28/2008, -0/+5Re: bicyclethief
          Not true; Shrimp tastes like raw fish (no stupid jokes, please), Oriental tastes completely bland, and the beef one tastes more like salty gravy than actual beef. However, the chicken one tastes pretty decent.

          p.s Gimmie back my bike!
    • diggdiggerid, on 03/28/2008, -7/+2I think real men eat real food and not 30 cent processed noodles like a poor college student
      • Amadeus2490, on 03/28/2008, -0/+6It's a rite-of-passage into manhood. And besides, they're 15 cents at Giant Eagle and Wal*mart. I guess that shows you how out-of-touch you are with the youth in America.
      • Aidje, on 03/28/2008, -0/+5As Amadeus said, if you're paying 30 cents a pack, you're getting ripped off majorly. I pay 14 cents. As for the "poor college student" thing, well… yeah, I'm a college student.
        • Amadeus2490, on 03/29/2008, -2/+1The ritzy-ass Ichiban ones are like 28 cents a piece.

          I think i'm the only non-college student on this website.
        • Scaryclouds, on 03/29/2008, -0/+3This is why I live at home.
          • Amadeus2490, on 03/29/2008, -0/+1I was home-schooled.

            *blink blink*.
  • farlito101, on 03/28/2008, -0/+0Wasn't this on the digg front page a LONG time ago?
  • illegalcortex, on 03/28/2008, -0/+9#12. Not all men are the same.

    Almost none of these "secrets" apply to me. Maybe #1, #7 and #10. Not all men are cast from the same stereotypical mold. Actually, I'm not even sure most are. And these points certainly don't apply to all or most women. My girlfriend has yet to want to sit down and talk about any "complex issues in our relationship." *I* would actually be the one more likely to do that, if I thought there were really any to talk about. She's also never asked me if "these jeans make my butt look big" or "if you don't already know then I can't explain it to you" or any of that other stereotypical *****.

    And for all of you getting itchy posting fingers, ready to say "just wait until you are married, it will all change hahahahaah" - consider that if things changed in your relationship after marriage, you might be a significant part of the problem.
    • gymbrall, on 03/28/2008, -0/+6most people are at least half of the problem in their marriage... we suspect you will find the same to be true... for what it's worth, children make a much bigger change than marriage. there is plenty of time in the day for two moderately selfish people to do what they'd both like to do. children are the real wake-up call that reveal to you exactly how selfish you really are. ymmv
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