51 Comments
- bedouin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3What the story doesn't mention is that Bill Gates was largely inspired by this brochure's imaginary knock-off of the Altair, changing only its name, and decided to found an entire corporation off of the same premise.
- Ryland, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Full text of the article, for those who are interested:
THE ZALTAIR STORY
My best computer prank involved counterfeiting twenty thousand brochures for a phony computer. I did it at the First West Coast Computer Faire, where the Apple was introduced.
The big computer of the day was the Altair, so we named ours the Zaltair. We made it an incredible dream machine, with full Altair-100 bus compatibility plus 50 extra connectors. We called this the Zaltair 150 bus and had quotes in the brochure saying things like "And what a motherboard."
The brochure compared the Zaltair's performance with that of other machines, including the Apple, and offered discounts for Altair trade-ins. We also had lots of "Z" words, since they were really popular back then. Words like "verZatility," "BAZIC" and "perZonality."
Potential customers at the fair ran to the Altair people to ask for Zaltairs. Of course, the Altair folks didn't know anything about it. But they got concerned enough to begin confiscating boxes of Zaltair brochures. No sooner did we bring in another box than it would disappear, and we began to worry that we might get caught.
Then I got an idea. We started sneaking our brochures into key distribution points around the fair, putting them underneath piles of legitimate material. I started leaving them in phone booths and other public places. Eventually the Homebrew Computer Club caught on and recognized it as a big joke and a prank. But the best part was the way I framed someone.
I've discovered that the way to play a prank is to make it look like someone else did it. It's like playing two pranks at once! For the Zaltair I put a quote at the top of the ad, supposedly from the president of MITS. You took the first letter of each word in the quote and it spelled Processor Technology. I figured that some computer person would look at the nonsensical quote and realize that it contained a cipher. But nobody did, and I wasn't going to say anything.
Then one day Gordon French, the founder of the Homebrew Computer Club, came by Apple and said, "I know who did this thing. I know who wrote the brochure!"
I had kept it such a secret that even Steve Jobs didn't know I was the culprit, so I was very interested in what he had to say. With Jobs and a few other excited Apple people around, someone asked Gordon: "Who did it?"
He said it was Gerry Egram from Processor Technology. "I know it's Gerry, because he's got a strange sense of humor."
I just howled. I knew who had the "strange sense of humor." Anyway, I decided this was the right opportunity to let someone know about the cipher.
"Hey, you guys," I said. "Look at this! If you take the first letter from each word in the quote at the top of the page, it spells out Processor Technology!"
The quote in the Zaltair brochure read:
"Predictable refinement of computer equipment should suggest on-line reliability. The elite computer hobbyist needs one logical optionless guarantee, yet." - Ed Roberts, President, MITK, Inc.
In a few seconds I had everybody there spelling out P-R-0-C-E-S-S-O-R T-E-C-H-N-0-L-O-G-Y, right down to the Y. So now, supposedly, they knew who the culprit was.
It wasn't until four or five years later that I told anyone I was responsible for the Zaltair prank. I went out to dinner with Steve Jobs and told him the whole thing. He was beside himself. He had never once suspected me.
STEPHEN WOZNIAK - comrademikhail, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2"Um, maybe I'm just thick, but I don't quite get it. Who was he supposedly framing for writing the brochure?" -felchdonkey
In the quote, if you take the letter of each word it spells Processor Technology, so people began to think it was Gerry Egram from Processor Technology. +digg. - gluon, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Where can I sign up to be a) rich b) have fun all the time?
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1leave it to Woz to pull a great prank.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I want one of those!
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1this article is also on Woz's website: http://woz.org/letters/general/109.html
- CLIFFosakaJAPAN, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1The Scan of the original article was the best I can find because the "Brochure" can actually be read on this site...
- wyngnut, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I think this is definitely a "you had to be there."
- dreadsword, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I don't really follow what's funny about the prank. Its like showing up at the Detroit Auto Show and handing out flyer for a ficticious dream car with "Have you driven a Gord lately?" on them. Which to me says either (a) I'm missing something here, or (b) wozniak led a lonely life at that time...
The cipher was a nice touch though... - noodhoog, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I hear that once he stood in Mr Wilson's flowerbed - that was a TWO episode storyline!
- flipzmode, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"20 brochures?? Oh no you didn't, boyfriend!!"
It's 20,000 buddy. And please don't get into the argument over 20.000 versus 20,000. - cplusplus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1You don't hear about "genius" Bill Gates ever doing anything like this... too busy making money.
- phunlee, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I think it's funny that this article reads like a penthouse forum letter..."and her husband was ne'er the wiser."....
not that i read that stuff.. - 8-bit, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I love that guy.
- orabox, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0@dreadsword
Detroit Auto Show - Annon, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Hahaha that was great. Wozniak FTW.
- felchdonkey, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Um, maybe I'm just thick, but I don't quite get it. Who was he supposedly framing for writing the brochure?
- TellusCitizen, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Brilliant Master, Brilliant!
- e1ven, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Ham95 was Terribly amusing at the time. It's a great OS, if anyone can find a copy on an emulator site someplace, it's worth it to give it a try.
It was ported to most of the popular platforms in the 1995 era, so you should be able to find a decent copy.
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22ham95%22&start=10&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&
Suprisingly, Not on Wikipedia yet, though. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Great read... even though it was short.
- azuldude, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I actually have one of these. It is teh bomb!
- teckjunkie, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Remember Hamilton 95?
- xt0ph3r, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0"Where can I sign up to be a) rich b) have fun all the time?"
Woz wasn't rich when he pulled this prank, fwiw. He worked pretty hard to make his money... I expect he had lots of fun along the way though. - orabox, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0@dreadsword
Detroit Auto Show not = to First West Coast Computer Faire
http://www.imsai.net/history/wccf/wccf.htm
Much different, geeks them days were still trying to figure out what to do with computers have a look. - Lynxpro, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0
What about Penn's New York Times ad (that was a prank) to sell a state-of-the-art computer dirt cheap that caused all sorts of controversy back in the mid 90s? - PhantomBantam, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0"Now that we are coming out in the clear, I confess. I was responsible for the Phantom Gaming System prank."
Ha Ha Ha Ha. Very very funny. - SystemError, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Wo0t! Woz Rocks
- teckjunkie, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0@e1ven: It is now
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton_95 - Mortimer, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0cliffosakajapan,
The scan is not of an article, it is out of a COPYRIGHTED book. What's more, the website that is hosting it seemed to go OUT OF THEIR WAY to obscure the reference. I have the book in question right in front of me.
I know why you chose to link that source from 1984 to recall the story. I'm questioning the site that is housing that image. If they had permission to scan the page and publish it to the web, why cut off the page headers that identify the book?
And while I'm at it, anyone who enjoyed that article will find a wealth of vintage computer lore in the original book. Digital Deli, The comprehensive, user-lovable menu of computer lore, culture, lifestyles and fancy, by the Lunch Group and Guests, Edited by Steve Ditlea, Copyright, 1984.
Enjoy! - fyre2012, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Woz is my hero.
- sho222, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0no digg for copyright infringement - thanks Mortimer
- spoid_, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I want to be Woz when I grow up.
- Nobi-Wan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Oh those nerds crack me up.
- D4r7h3v1l, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0"I want to be Woz when I grow up."
I think that position is taken. :-P
I love pranks like this. And to whoever said that Bill was too busy making money, *slap*. - wnl0, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Back in 1977 I saw an advertisement for an 'incredible' machine that included a keyboard whose key-cap legends were configurable via fiber bundles or LED's. I suspect that it was an April-fool joke but I've yet to see a machine that matches it's 'specs'. Everybody wanted one. I settled for an ELF II kit. I've always wanted to have a copy of that ad.
- zerozerooneone, on 08/26/2008, -0/+0http://meatfighter.com/woz/
- Mortimer, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0So a scan of a complete page of a copyrighted book from the 80's (Digital Deli, ed. Steve Ditlea) can pull over 1400 diggs?
Meanwhile, 21 years after publication, Woz is doing plenty that's digg-worthy. I'm not going to say "old news" because the story is still interesting, but let's get a new account of the story at least, instead of scanning someone else's work (conveniently omitting the page headers that would identify it as such). - Gatesophile, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0lmao I love Woz. He kicks total bootay.
Yes, I am a "Microsoftie". But yes, I love Woz. Figure THAT one out.
And I found this prank to be totally funny. And I hate Macs. So HA to whoever said that only Mac-users would find this funny.
And the book that this was scanned from does sound pretty interesting. - JaggedEdge, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Just anotherintresting little thing that makes me like Woz evenmore. I personally hate Mac's im a PC guy but Woz is a friggin genius. Beautiful prank.
- dougbo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I'm a former owner of a Processor Technology Sol. The great thing about that computer was that it had (no joke) attractive wooden sides. Not much of a run for the money for an Apple, especially since they were often sold as kits that you had to solder together... but a class act none the less.
- CLIFFosakaJAPAN, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Mortimer...
Once again, I'm stating that this site, although it is a scan of the article, has the most readable test of the actual phony brochure Steve Wozniak created. The other sites have the story but they either don't have a picture of the brochure or if they did, it's almost impossible to read. - CLIFFosakaJAPAN, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Mortimer....thanks for the insight regarding the scan. I would someday like to read the book you recommend.
- kylemeans, on 10/12/2007, -1/+020 brochures?? Oh no you didn't, boyfriend!!
- teebiss, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0I don't get it.
- disord3r, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0??
Exactly the type of thing a Mac user would find funny... (: - coolcoolglasses, on 10/12/2007, -3/+0Nice, the Woz strikes agian
http://plueballs.libsyn.com funny stuff - Ballwalker, on 10/12/2007, -3/+0what a dork.
- cuntface, on 10/12/2007, -3/+0WHITE POWAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


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