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Inmate files lawsuit claiming O.J. Simpson is "hitman" for Steve Jobs

appleinsider.com — A South Carolina inmate notorious for filing frivolous and fanciful lawsuits against public figures has used his latest complaint to accuse Apple chief executive Steve Jobs of employing O.J. Simpson as a "hitman" for the past two decades, in addition a litany of other outlandish offenses.

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  • nightstrm, on 10/10/2007, -3/+83Best... lawsuit... ever.
    • nunofgs, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Oh. My. God. It's all starting to make sense now!
  • PaulPinfield, on 10/10/2007, -5/+42This is the best story ever, ever, ever....

  • dajuggernaut, on 10/10/2007, -3/+32OJ a hitman??? he is too damn stupid to be a hitman...
    • jerrolds, on 10/10/2007, -4/+13You sure about that? He got away with a double murder
      • mywhitenoise, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12He got away with it, but there was a ***** of evidence that said otherwise. That just means OJ is stupid, but the judge and jury were even more stupid.
      • Hickeroar, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2that had nothing to do with anything HE did.
      • EarlOfLade, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3When you understand the difference between dollars and IQ, you'll get the point!
    • adamkhel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+33Oh yeah? How many murders have YOU gotten away with?!
      • EarlOfLade, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Which had nothing to do with his IQ but all about his dollars.
        • Giga, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I was under the impression that he was essentially bankrupted during the trial process...
  • ddmulholland, on 10/10/2007, -0/+18Nuclear missiles are nothing compared to the price gouging! Too hilarious.

    "As for his other roles in the legal escapade, Jobs is charged with aiming nuclear missiles at Riches' brain and Lance Armstrong's bicycle, as well as price gouging iPhone customers."
    • Derrekito, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2IPhone price gouging maybe... :p
    • Lynxpro, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Well, I guess we now know that G4 is available for viewing in prison. The guy must've seen that skit about Steve Jobs owning nuclear missiles.
  • Query, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16Somebody doesn't like Macs.
  • iching, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3This why Cathy Griffin is dating Woz. She knows Kevin Bacon in Hollywood that knew OJ.
    Woz............don't forget your glasses at a restaurant, you know what happened last time
  • FreakyD, on 10/10/2007, -12/+2Buried for containing "OJ", but other than that, this is some good reading
  • KevenM, on 10/10/2007, -9/+4I'm going to sue this inmate for having wasted everyone's time and causing mental distress.
    • AntzNZ, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7If you sue him, I'll sue you for killing fun.
      • Giga, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0And I'll sue you for the sake of suing you.
  • EruditeGoof, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8http://news.justia.com/cases/jonathan-lee-riches/
    All of his cases.
    • rhinopig, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1haha, awesome. Thanks.
    • saifatlast, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2>>Plaintiff sued various delivery services, as well as Paul Revere and Pizza Hut delivery.

      8 cases were filed on September 24th alone.
  • eyefone, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15Isn't this the same guy who sued Michael Vick for supplying Iran with nuclear weapons?
  • capiCrimm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Anyone consider that he may have found a loophole in the law, and submits legitimate claims hidden in the ***** to get away with something, or to sue the gov for negligence or something?
    • magus_melchior, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5I'm thinking he's killing a few birds with one stone:

      1) He gets a few laughs while some of his time in prison is filled with something other than being locked up next to a big guy named Bubba who wants to dance with him.
      2) He wastes the government's time and money setting up court dates to dismiss the cases, mainly to spite them for his conviction and incarceration, and the fact that the judge doubtless told him not to waste the court's time in his first suit against the Bureau of Prisons.
      3) He gets the attention of the 'net. For someone who was the leader of an ID theft ring, you'd think he would try to keep a low profile, but hey, I guess he doesn't give a rat's ass about that now.
  • offspring06, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7This should be made into a movie.
  • superkendall, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Solution to problem? When OJ is sentenced, have him share a cell with this guy. Something will work itself out.
  • monkeyrun, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2lol ... This is Great.
  • MonkeyMCSE, on 10/10/2007, -5/+0What did Steve have against OJ's former wife? He must have ordered it being that OJ is his hitman.

    BTW, this is sarcasm for you slower folks.
    • magus_melchior, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Don't worry, with MCSE in your user name, you'll still get buried. ;)
  • DFENS, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Wonder if Jobs hired OJ to kill Torvalds. That would give this idea some weight..

    :)
  • mandarin, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5This guy should fit very will with Jack Thompson
  • boardsurfer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11I couldn't make that ***** up if I tried.
  • offspring06, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5"As for his other roles in the legal escapade, Jobs is charged with aiming nuclear missiles at Riches' brain and Lance Armstrong's bicycle, as well as price gouging iPhone customers."

    Why would Steve Jobs have a nuclear missile pointing at Lance Armstrong's bicycle. Isn't that like swating a fly with a hammer?
    • Lynxpro, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Sheryll Crow threatened to pull her music from the iTunes Store unless Steve pointed those missiles at Lance for having done that bike ride with the President. Crow also broke up with Lance after the water bottles that gave her cancer told her to do so...
  • NSResponder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The petitioner is barking mad, and must not be allowed to waste the court's time in this manner.

    -jcr

    • magus_melchior, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Apparently the guy files in different jurisdictions to avoid any sort of "frivolous lawsuit penalty". The content of the complaints are, without question, laughably bogus, but I have no doubt that the man is quite sane (frighteningly evil, but sane).
  • trinest, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Anyone came here expecting for him to be the hit man for Steve Jobs?
    As in the guy whos going to kil him.
  • fivestarsoul, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7From a website stated earlier, it's possible (and very rewarding) to download PDFs of the cases he's sent to the courts... for example, in one such case...

    "Defendants put explodable ink dye in my mail so recipients can't read what I'm saying. Defendants put tons of fire ants in my mail box to tease me and scare my soul when I open it. Defendants are negligent on May 2, 2005 towards my mail. I get foot prints on my letters, a cheap perfume smell. Last October Defendants sent a used index finger of a Hispanic."

  • Vazelos, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Someone needs to file a lawsuit against this guy for the cost taxpayers need to pay for him while being in jail.
  • marcomc2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Im sure this is complete *****, but if it isnt - this is one of the weirdest, most random claims/stories submitted this month
  • mgrucker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3This guy is hilarious :lol: Read about his lawsuits on Wikipedia, I haven't laughed this hard in awhile :)
  • Subvexer, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3Oh, just say it; he's totally insane and his name is Jack Thompson. Enough with this "inmate" business.
  • Remmy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11Steve Jobs to O.J., "I shall call you, AppleJuice."
  • cambrown99, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Now it all makes sense!
  • infamousjeff, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2This guy's lawsuits are equivalent to the "glove doesn't fit" defense. He sounds almost as crazy as the moveon.org propaganda ads.
  • syroncoda, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1haha jobsy totally hired OJuice to knock off some tech badguys. ***** if it was at all true jobsy would totally target MS and google.
  • Yupp, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Damn you Mr. Riches! you have spoiled our plans again!!

    /slinks back to evil lair
  • Lynxpro, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1

    If the filing is only $15, I think I might be tempted to donate that amount. I find this rather amusing. And who knows, maybe Microsoft will send me a Zune for aiding this necesary lawsuit against their main competitor.

    Not that I want a Zune, but obviously, this act would deserve one more so than some fat guy getting a tat of its logo does.

    Come to think of it, this guy looks like J Allard.
  • madstringer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4His Wikipedia entry is the funniest that I have ever read. Having a bad day? Read It!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Lee_Riches
  • EdwardoTheGreat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2And yet Gates isn't dead.
  • HideoKojima, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3I heard that Steve Blowjobs paid him with his ass.
  • toastgodsupreme, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Your taxes at work...
  • caryw, on 10/10/2007, -5/+1How the hell did this make it to the front page of digg? Just because it mentions Steve Jobs? This kind of crap happens every day without anyone paying notice, and rightfully so.

    None of us are any better after reading this garbage. Buried, please do the same.
  • opticburger, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0"Several weeks ago, he filed suit against Elvis Presley and Neverland Ranch for, inter alia, 'WAR CRIMES Rock N Rollin My Brain'," the Judge wrote.

    Sounds like something out of The Onion.
  • Cherubim, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Jobs is using "the juice" to squeeze the competition ?
  • Gabberwok, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1This is the most rational thing I've seen on Digg today...
  • da5id, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I knew it!
  • metalica77, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Did he get sold a DOA Ipod or something?
  • xenonline, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1WTF?
  • digitallysick, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1This guy rocks, todays hero
  • semaphoreblock, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0in other news. oj is also responsible for the ms zune design. he wanted something that reminded him of http://www.amazon.com/Arco-Toys-Ltd-43567-Football ... the juice just can't win...
  • anshuman, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1i think this guy is jack thompsons soulmate ......*rimshot*.
  • JckDnl, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0You know what's going to be funny is when we end up finding out all his crazy law suits have truth to them!
  •  

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