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Apple Buys Me.com... .Mac's New Name?
macrumors.com — So, Apple does appear to own Me.com. It was likely purchased sometime in December 2007, and it could very well be the rebranding for Apple's .Mac service.
- 1556 diggs
- digg it
- Wailord, on 06/01/2008, -41/+7Can I be the first to say that these names are incredibly gay? Mobile Me or Me.com, both are terrible (worse than dotMac).
- qpid, on 06/01/2008, -6/+44First off I fail to see how a domain name can have a sexual preference....
Second, Me.com is short, simple and to the point. Everyone knows how to spell, say it and will likely know what it means.- mrsteveman1, on 06/02/2008, -1/+5Dude you have never seen what most servers do with their open ports at 3am, its TOTALLY gay.
- mike17032, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5And thats exactly the kind of thing Apple goes for.
Any improvements to .mac are welcome from me. I like the service, but its expensive for what you get.
- vault, on 06/01/2008, -1/+11Mobile Me does sound pretty stupid, actually.
And I'll wait to see what Apple does with it, but anything@me.com just sounds very childlike and generic.- ssn697, on 06/01/2008, -14/+4Which means, for this market, it will be a success. I looked at it, and realized the perfection for the 90 percent of the AAPL market that is unbelievably self absorbed.
/my friends list, and me, excluded ;-)
- ssn697, on 06/01/2008, -14/+4Which means, for this market, it will be a success. I looked at it, and realized the perfection for the 90 percent of the AAPL market that is unbelievably self absorbed.
- PathDaemon, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Regardless, we now know where all the iPhone profits went...
- theprez, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Couldn't it just be that they're going to integrate a new service called "ME" and want to redirect traffic just like iphone.com, itunes.com and ipod.com take you to those sections in Apple's website?
- Charlotte_Web, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Apple is following Microsoft's lead with their greatest OS (Windows ME) and, since the OS X moniker is getting long in the tooth, they will be naming the next OS, "Mac OS ME"
- QsheiK, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Kinda unrelated...but people made the same criticism towards the Wii for its name.
The Wii is a standard household name now.
- qpid, on 06/01/2008, -6/+44First off I fail to see how a domain name can have a sexual preference....
- MurphyMac, on 06/01/2008, -48/+174Microsoft started a terrible trend with My Documents. MY this, MY that. It makes all your folder names look the same and is hugely inefficient visually. Further- on an MS machine I always rename MS Word to Word, MS Excel to Excel, etc. Clearly they give these things zero thought. Why make it hard for users for no reason?
It would be disappointing to see Apple follow MS down the Me-My path.- sdfguy, on 06/01/2008, -27/+4Yes, THIS is the thing that will make macs poorly designed.
- helixed, on 06/02/2008, -0/+3You're an idiot.
- wellyuk, on 06/02/2008, -2/+4*Your an idiot.
- xaeon, on 06/02/2008, -0/+3@wellyuk
Sweet Jesus, I hope you were joking.
- helixed, on 06/02/2008, -0/+3You're an idiot.
- saleem, on 06/01/2008, -6/+212I know I might get buried for mentioning its name, but Vista fixes that problem and it's just "Documents", "Pictures", "Downloads", "Videos", etc
- Nitrodist88, on 06/02/2008, -3/+49Well, time to upgrade then.
- sarixe, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5...to linux
- Nitrodist88, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1...in bed
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -30/+1*Buried for Vista*
- FearlessFreep, on 06/02/2008, -24/+13OS/X has been doing that for awhile.."Documents", "Movies" "Music", etc...
- MavRevMatt, on 06/02/2008, -7/+20So has Linux.. Oh wait, in Linux you can do whatever.
- ciano, on 06/02/2008, -3/+11If you're willing to learn how.
- nmnnotmyname, on 06/02/2008, -1/+7Yeah, but same goes for any OS switch.
- AmICoolNow, on 06/02/2008, -4/+27What's better, putting "my" before everything, or "i"?
- SmellyGeekBoy, on 06/02/2008, -6/+6Eh? Have you ever even used a Mac?
It's always just been "Documents", "Applications", etc. - JCDenton513, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6He's referring to their product lines: iPhone, iPod, iMac, iEtc.
- blinktude, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4iMy?
- SmellyGeekBoy, on 06/02/2008, -6/+6Eh? Have you ever even used a Mac?
- Nitrodist88, on 06/02/2008, -3/+49Well, time to upgrade then.
- neodude237, on 06/01/2008, -2/+120Me Documents
- feliks2, on 06/02/2008, -3/+32iDocumets?!?!
Please pleaase please no - Nohj, on 06/02/2008, -1/+43Arrrr!
- sarixe, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4yar har fiddle dee dee
- trixterIreland, on 06/02/2008, -3/+41Me Documents is the UK language variant.
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+17Reminded me of this from years ago...
http://www.jardmail.co.uk/attachments/windaz2000.g ... - feliks2, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Seems more of a thich scottish, irish or pirate accent.
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+17Reminded me of this from years ago...
- roomforpanic, on 06/02/2008, -2/+25There always after me lucky documents!
/leprechaun- Archaic1, on 06/02/2008, -2/+2/leprechaun?
- sarixe, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1yes, /leprechaun.
- acidandspatter, on 06/02/2008, -0/+7Sounds like something Ali-G would say.
- ErikHarrison, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Nah more like Jacob from GTA IV
"I'm talkin bout me documents see? Don touch em you *****' bumbaclaat. You earin' me Niko?"
/jacob
- ErikHarrison, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Nah more like Jacob from GTA IV
- webtroll, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2I can't find Me Documents on Me Mac. Good grammar and style ftw!
- bingostud722, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4iPirate
- feliks2, on 06/02/2008, -3/+32iDocumets?!?!
- whatthefu, on 06/01/2008, -2/+59They seem pretty satisfied with their "i" prefixes.
- whahaa, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5iMe?
- sg7791, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2Actually... I don't think so. They haven't used it as much lately. Apple TV, Apple Mail. Their new thing is putting Apple in front of the name and not saying it. The iPhone probably had the i purely for brand recognition.
- mhuggins, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1i.com
- YoctoYotta, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1i.dontthinksinglelettersarevalidurls/d/d/duh.asp?
- black27696, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1They're valid it's just that no one uses them. Because that would be stupid. And it is.
- SuburbianMike, on 06/02/2008, -3/+44Wow, I really never considered the ramifications of my picture folder being called "My Pictures" instead of "Pictures"
Now that I know this I can stop the apocalypses from destroying us all by simply renaming MY PICTURE FOLDER to "Pictures".
Thank you. - joel8x, on 06/02/2008, -3/+22Me = Mac Everywhere.
- Sil369, on 06/02/2008, -0/+22No, Magic Elephants.
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -1/+6MacEntosh
- Avalontor, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Mac Enterprise
- sg7791, on 06/02/2008, -0/+13Millennium Edition
- zzz@tkz, on 06/02/2008, -0/+8A name I call myself.
- mm911, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Maximum Expense
- Sil369, on 06/02/2008, -0/+22No, Magic Elephants.
- Raian, on 06/02/2008, -1/+28It's better to be a pirate....
Ahoy... open me documents matey... then over to me music, there is more treasure in me desktop than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island!
Shiver me timbers!- bluntphallus, on 06/02/2008, -2/+23I hide my warez in /home/matt/Desktop/do/what/you/want/cos/a/pirate/is/free. CD'ing to it is a bitch though.
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1L-O-L
- MisterNetHead, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4I vote for renaming My Documents to Me Timbers. Do I hear a second?
- tadpoleontheweb, on 06/02/2008, -0/+0Funny.
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -3/+3Who said they were going down that route?
- Papajohn56, on 06/02/2008, -7/+2Microsoft: Justifying Gen-X'ers selfishness
- GothAlice, on 06/02/2008, -1/+33There's a bloody good reason why Microsoft has prefixed all of their products with their name. They -lost- the lawsuit that said you can't trademark the name Windows because it is too generic. Thus, Word is not a valid product name either; and Office isn't valid either… now they're called Microsoft Office Word, Microsoft Office Excel, etc. Windows is Microsoft Windows, etc.
Can't believe I'm saying this, but don't bitch at Microsoft over this. Re-name them if you wish and get on with your life. - thecheatah, on 06/02/2008, -3/+5it groups all the crappy programs together
- Serial0Hacker, on 06/02/2008, -1/+3At least it stopped people putting Documents in the Windows directory.
- CoolGoose, on 06/02/2008, -5/+3iThink that Apple iHas already an issue. iDon't you ?
- liquidmetalband, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Hmmm, but you have to have a web domain, don't you?
And by the way, Microsoft has renamed the documents and stuff in Vista, getting rid of the "My" and probably in Office 2007 (but I don't own it, so I don't really know). - jhuebel, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1Actually, Microsoft has given much thought to the names, I'm sure. It's product branding to add "Microsoft" before the names of each app. I think they also have trademarks on the full names "Microsoft Word", "Microsoft Excel", etc, etc.
- sarixe, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4Don't you get it? "My Documents" is from Microsoft's perspective. It's just reminding you that when you place anything in that folder, it belongs to Microsoft.
- madbadger, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2I wish the shortcuts were named "MS Word" by default--I'd be pretty satisfied with that. They're actually named "Microsoft Office Word 2003".
- sdfguy, on 06/01/2008, -27/+4Yes, THIS is the thing that will make macs poorly designed.
- ttocsxela, on 06/01/2008, -4/+24Me, .Mac, Apple is not good at naming their internet service. Let us see if their marketing army can turn that around (probably will if steve gets on them about it).
I've always believed .mac was a great idea, but has always come up short in several areas. If you look at the .mac user homepage and follow the links to the other services you can tell it is in a dire need of an upgrade.- vault, on 06/01/2008, -0/+8Don't forget eWorld which no one used http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eworld
- ssn697, on 06/01/2008, -3/+4Oh, I used eWorld, way back when. I was forced to, as my group supported Acrobat.
I know it is a joke, but I always said eWorld became AOL. I am pretty sure I originated that joke. - brycelb, on 06/01/2008, -0/+5Being one of the few people that actually used it for it's entire existence I can say that it could have been great but was just mildly better that AOL for mac users at the time.
- ssn697, on 06/01/2008, -3/+4Oh, I used eWorld, way back when. I was forced to, as my group supported Acrobat.
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Ahem, iTools was good. Beter than the dumb ".mac"
- xsuite, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1I believe it is actually a rebranding-reinvigoration of .mac. Dont despair.
- cliffr39, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1the first change... make it free. it's 2008. pay to upgrade the service like everyone else, not just to have the basics.
- vault, on 06/01/2008, -0/+8Don't forget eWorld which no one used http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eworld
- illwil, on 06/01/2008, -7/+19Apple gets me
- stilesja, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1I was kind of hoping they'd call it iTools.
- blackjack75, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1It's just a customer-support trick.
Imagine trying to type in a forum. "That's it, I have had it. ***** ME".
- wonderchemist, on 06/01/2008, -8/+21Apple also owns mammles.org
- Berkana, on 06/01/2008, -1/+47mammals, you mean?
That was part of their inside joke that they were more evolved than Microsoft's "dinosaurs"; even the MacOS X kernel is called Darwin.- pantone286, on 06/02/2008, -17/+4t-rex > ghey.lemur
- nynexla, on 06/02/2008, -3/+0
- nynexla, on 06/02/2008, -2/+1mammaries
- Berkana, on 06/01/2008, -1/+47mammals, you mean?
- kmotiv1, on 06/01/2008, -6/+6Ouch. Hopefully this doesn't turn into that horrible MEdia thing that AT&T Tried to pull while they were Cingular.
- zwaldowski, on 06/02/2008, -0/+9They're still pulling it, unless my late-2007 edition phone is lying to me.
- kmotiv1, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6Oh really? Wow, I thought they would have given that up by now.
- zwaldowski, on 06/02/2008, -0/+9They're still pulling it, unless my late-2007 edition phone is lying to me.
- energyblue, on 06/01/2008, -1/+33I don't care what they call it. As long as they improve it. Some of the tools, example 'homepage', are as old as .Mac itself. dotMac could be so much better with a price drop and a BIG improvement/expansion to services (I'm not talking iPhoto slideshows).
- BrendanSheehan, on 06/01/2008, -0/+9I don't care if they improve it as long as they make the damn thing free, or at least 50% cheaper.
- brycelb, on 06/01/2008, -2/+1I agree but also understand why Apple is charging. They made something like 500 million over the last 3 months alone so it seems to be bringing in some decent revenue.
- energyblue, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Evidence?
- brycelb, on 06/01/2008, -2/+1I agree but also understand why Apple is charging. They made something like 500 million over the last 3 months alone so it seems to be bringing in some decent revenue.
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2I'm not buying it unless it's free. I like the iDisk idea, but so far it's not worth the price tag.
- tracydanger, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1It'd be nice if they could make most features free and then maybe a price for larger online storage capacity or something. They could still make money that way. There's so many people (including myself) that will never pay for most of what it does since I can do pretty much everything for free as it stands with other services. I'm willing to go to gmail/google calendar/google pages, adrive.com/box.net, etc. if it means that I don't pay.
- BrendanSheehan, on 06/01/2008, -0/+9I don't care if they improve it as long as they make the damn thing free, or at least 50% cheaper.
- nitesoulja, on 06/01/2008, -10/+21later this year apple will be introducing the new MEpod and the MEphone
- redwallhp, on 06/02/2008, -12/+3No, duh. You don't mess with good branding. The iPod and iPhone are very successful, well-branded products. Only Microsoft would re-name them...
- thefinger, on 06/02/2008, -1/+3dugg for joke potential
- eliot2000, on 06/01/2008, -6/+100.mac isn't a dud because it's called .mac. It's a dud because it offers very little that you can not find for free elsewhere and charges a minimum of $100 a year for it. Nobody pays for email, and the name isn't going to change that.
- AndrewWiggin, on 06/02/2008, -1/+13You're right, but if they were trying to rebrand, it would help to have a fresh start rather than using the same name again.
- RiverBelow, on 06/02/2008, -1/+5I agree, its easier to introduce a new service than tell people "Wait, its actually not ***** now!" Which I feel Microsoft is going through with the Zune 2.
- superkendall, on 06/02/2008, -3/+13Actually even with the shortcomings a fair number of people subscibe to .Mac today, because when paired with stuff like iPhoto or iWeb or iMovie, it's one of the easiest ways to get content to appear on the web.
They have some pretty good parts to tit, like BackToMyMac and the preference/bookmark/keychain sync service between multiple macs. But they do need to offer more and tie it all together better - it's always seemed crazy to me that the iPhone did not support .Mac in any way, at least the syncing stuff, and now it looks like it's going to.- sg7791, on 06/02/2008, -2/+5Dugg for saying tit.
- knightboat, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5The name change likely has more to do with offering services for iPhone users on Windows and changing the service's scope to be less Mac-based than it has to do with an arbitrary refresh to the branding.
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Most of the features of .Mac would be great if I owned more than one Mac. Things like preference and keychain syncing, syncing my calendars, syncing just about everything in fact.
Unfortunately I only own 1 mac, and I'm not paying for .Mac just because the iLife suite has easy to use buttons to publish to .Mac - Hickeroar, on 06/02/2008, -0/+3Well, it's less than $10/mo for email AND 10gb of space with some other nice tools and a public shared folder you can get to from anywhere. It's not just email. I subscribe and I don't use the email at all.
I got it for the syncing capabilities across all my macs and the "back to my mac" service.- tracydanger, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2I get email and well over 50 gigs of online storage that I can access from anywhere and I pay nothing. Some services give 10 gigs free and at least one I know of does 50 for free and if you sign up for 4 accounts - there's 200 gigs free. It sucks that they charge for something like syncing when that should be an automatic software thing that doesn't need Apple involved from day to day. At least rip people off by selling that as a "program" with a one time fee instead of making it a rental service (which is what it ends up being).
- Hickeroar, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Yeah, I think every .mac user, myself included, knows that on some level it's a rip, but it's all part of the whole "mac" elitest thing. I guess mac users generally don't mind spending a bit more money on things. Stupid? Maybe.
My comment was more for the fact that you're not paying for "just an email address." There are other things that come with it that, in my case, are far more important than having a mac.com email address.
- Hickeroar, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Yeah, I think every .mac user, myself included, knows that on some level it's a rip, but it's all part of the whole "mac" elitest thing. I guess mac users generally don't mind spending a bit more money on things. Stupid? Maybe.
- tracydanger, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2I get email and well over 50 gigs of online storage that I can access from anywhere and I pay nothing. Some services give 10 gigs free and at least one I know of does 50 for free and if you sign up for 4 accounts - there's 200 gigs free. It sucks that they charge for something like syncing when that should be an automatic software thing that doesn't need Apple involved from day to day. At least rip people off by selling that as a "program" with a one time fee instead of making it a rental service (which is what it ends up being).
- johnpaul191, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Remember that .Mac was a jab at Microsoft's .Net services. They renamed it from iTools when it became a pay service. Renaming it would help draw attention to some major reworking. It could also be some other unrelated idea. i would think it was an expensive buy, so i assume *some* plan exists.
It would make sense to rename .Mac if it is going to have a lot of iPhone integration. I'm sure a lot of the iPhone owners would be forever confused how they can use .Mac with their iPhone when their home computer is running MS Windows.
- AndrewWiggin, on 06/02/2008, -1/+13You're right, but if they were trying to rebrand, it would help to have a fresh start rather than using the same name again.
- oxeneers, on 06/01/2008, -8/+2I'm stoked..
- sockpuppets, on 06/01/2008, -8/+31Unfortunately Microsoft already owns you.
- kipmartin, on 06/02/2008, -18/+2they dont own me.
i use all Mac, proprietary Apple products, and open source. NOTHING microsoft in my life. unless they own Toyota and I dont know about it. honestly, i use iTunes, gmail, a MacBook, NeoOffice, iChat, Safari, NVu, MacMeeting, FireFox, and the like. my company (one of the top 10 insurance companies) lets us use whatever platform we want.
curiously, we are forced to use Blackberries. they wont support any Windows Mobile. and thats probably the only thing microsoft puts out that i like.- knightboat, on 06/02/2008, -1/+16Clearly, sockpuppets was making a joke. (Apple owns me, Microsoft owns you, get it?) What the hell is wrong with you?
- sockpuppets, on 06/02/2008, -2/+5Microsoft owns the patent on funny, it seems. ;)
- estvir, on 06/02/2008, -6/+7You use Mac and proprietary Apple products? Than you're owned by Apple which is much, much worse.
- meatmcguffin, on 06/02/2008, -3/+3Worse? Remind me, which of the two companies is a convicted monopolist?
- locojones, on 06/02/2008, -4/+3You're right, clearly Apple owns you.
- knightboat, on 06/02/2008, -1/+16Clearly, sockpuppets was making a joke. (Apple owns me, Microsoft owns you, get it?) What the hell is wrong with you?
- NightVortez, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Well better you than me I always say.
- baylat, on 06/02/2008, -3/+4Bill Gates: "By the power I rested in me, I knight thee, Sir sockpuppets, Paladin of Microsoft."
- markmckay, on 06/02/2008, -1/+0No wonder I barely work!
- kipmartin, on 06/02/2008, -18/+2they dont own me.
- BrendanSheehan, on 06/01/2008, -3/+11http://www.iKids.com
http://www.iSchool.com- ECas123, on 06/02/2008, -5/+8http://*****.com
- Llanowar, on 06/02/2008, -1/+5Why don't you have a seat over there...
- fLUx1337, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2http://*****.com/u
- PathDaemon, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2^ NSFW
- ajchavar, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4if you open a URL titled "*****.com" at work then you're asking for it.
- mrBitch, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1"dirt pipe milkshakes" ?
- elbonito665, on 06/04/2008, -0/+1I thought it would also redirect to apple.com. :(
- ECas123, on 06/02/2008, -5/+8http://*****.com
- Berkana, on 06/01/2008, -5/+47Apple can't make the smallest move without the news hitting digg. Do they even need to advertise anymore? Money can't even buy publicity like this.
- sgtpppr, on 06/02/2008, -11/+12It's why they market a lifestyle instead of a product specifically...people treat your brand like it's their race/religion if you can market it correctly. These days, it's more dangerous to make fun of Macs in front of a Mac fan than to make racist black jokes in front of a 6'6" 250lb black football player. At least the football player just beats you up and it's over with in 10 seconds...the Mac guy goes on and on and on and on about how advanced Apple users are and how their machine only has one plug and one mouse button.
- ciano, on 06/02/2008, -4/+3Just like atheists.
- superkendall, on 06/02/2008, -6/+7Poor Apple hater! Constantly perturbed at the success of Apple, uncomprehending that it relates to quality, not fashion. The continued rise and popularity, to forever be a mystery to you! How sad to be so willfully blind.
If you were to drone on of your Apple Hatred in front of iPod or Mac users, it is not danger you would face, but derisive laughter at your assertions. - Berkana, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2Hey now, don't go hating on my brothers. (*typing this on my MacBook Pro*)
- Palaceguard, on 06/02/2008, -5/+21and people who are not even interested in Apple's news, tend to always comment in Apple's sections
- Berkana, on 06/02/2008, -0/+4Don't get me wrong, I use a Mac and love Apple rumors, but once in a while, I can't help but feel amazed at how Apple's twitches and shifts get reported as news.
- sgtpppr, on 06/02/2008, -11/+12It's why they market a lifestyle instead of a product specifically...people treat your brand like it's their race/religion if you can market it correctly. These days, it's more dangerous to make fun of Macs in front of a Mac fan than to make racist black jokes in front of a 6'6" 250lb black football player. At least the football player just beats you up and it's over with in 10 seconds...the Mac guy goes on and on and on and on about how advanced Apple users are and how their machine only has one plug and one mouse button.
- mykbibby, on 06/01/2008, -10/+142Here's an idea: call it Apple Online, or in short, AOL.
Oh wait...- norcalscan, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2eWorld!
- Dracusis, on 06/02/2008, -4/+1Apple Online would just be AO now, the word online has become so ubiquitous most would consider it a single word, hell even the checker in firefox doesn't seem to want to hyphenate it.
- Shiner6, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1I don't think you got the joke there... America Online... Apple Online. Get it?
- Dracusis, on 06/19/2008, -0/+1Ummm. No. That's not even remotely funny thus I just assumed they were being serious. Can't blame a guy for standards when it comes to lame humour.
- clak, on 06/01/2008, -27/+8The Death of a Windows Geek
A true story. Written by Clak.
So the other day, I'm hanging out at Starbucks and as always, there is at least one idiot with a Windows laptop. ***** Windows, man. ***** Windows. One of my gay friends, Barry, walks in, carrying his MacBook Air. He's wearing a black turtleneck that's a shade too light and it's totally obvious. I jump up from writing my unfinished script on my identical MacBook Air and say, "Dude, that color is totally not something Jobs would wear! How dare you come out in public like that!"
Barry winks at me and pulls off the not-so-standard black turtleneck revealing the REAL black turtleneck underneath and we both have a good laugh.
"You totally got me!" I say, falling back into my chair.
"Boom!" he says, sending me into another fit of laughter. How clever.
So we're sitting there tossing the ***** and I ask, "Dude, why are you getting here so late today? Whacking off to some gay porn?"
"Even better," he says.
"What could be better than gay porn?"
"The 2007 MacWorld keynote."
"Dude, you have GOT to get me a copy of that!"
"It's only $250 on iTunes."
"What a bargain! I'm totally downloading that ***** right now."
So I start downloading the Keynote through iTunes and we're sitting there, watching the screen with bated anticipation while sipping double mint espresso lattes and this guy with a Dell laptop, I kid you not, looks over with the most obnoxious look in the history of obnoxious looks. I mean, this guy's eyes are rolling so far into the back of his skull that I'm worried they're going to get stuck there, but not really, because come on, Windows users aren't actually like HUMAN, you know, so why would I care?
So I smile and say, "Dude, what's a matter? Totally rocking the blue screen?"
Guy jumps up like Steve Ballmer just stomped on his toe, and shouts, "For your info, I hadn't had a Blue Screen in THREE days."
"So this is unusual?" I say, and his face goes redder than a defective Xbox 360. I glance down at dude's clothes and I kid you not, he's the spitting image of John Hodgman. Same dorky expression, same dorky clothes, same dour expression, but without the irrelevant sense of humor beneath. In other words, a typical Windows user.
"Dude, does Bill Gates dress you or did a clown in your neighborhood just die?"
"At least I'm not slurping off that ass clown, Steve Jobs."
"I don't know what you heard, but that old fart totally came onto me. Yeah, we had sex, but he's old enough to be my grandfather, seriously."
"Huh?"
Barry leans over, whispers in my ear: "Dude, he was totally trying to insult you."
I look back at Dork and he's totally confused. I look down and say, "Dude, your socks don't even match," just to change the subject.
Dork looks down, hiking up his slacks—purple and blue with green polka dots. Now he's REALLY pissed.
"I guess I was too busy playing GAMES."
I smile at Barry, sharing a wink Dork can't see.
"Games? What games?" I ask innocently.
"Games. VIDEO GAMES."
"Hopscotch?"
"NO," he screams, "VIDEO GAMES, MORON!"
"LIke Jump Rope Relay?"
"No, VIDEO GAMES, YOU *****."
"Like Freeze Dance?" Barry chimes in. "Hot Potato? Hula Hoop Grab Toss?"
"No, VIDEO GAMES, you pathetic DOUCHE BAGS. How dense can you get?"
"Like Video Poker?"
"No, like CRYSIS!"
"Crisis Zone? I totally played that in the Arcade when I was kid."
"No, you ***** MOMO, GAMES, LIKE ON A COMPUTER!"
"You can't play GAMES on a computer."
"Of course not! NOT ON A MAC!"
"Then what the hell are you talking about?"
His face goes red again, just like Ballmer mid-scream. I'm half expecting Dork to go into full Monkeyboy mode when he collapses right on the spot. I look at Barry. Barry looks at me and there is a long moment before the serious kicks in. Dork is having a heart attack! I glance up at the barista behind the counter and she is staring at her bright pink nails, in a stupor of post rush boredom. I yell, "MAN DOWN! " and no one, including her, even registers our direction. Barry and I leap on the floor. Barry, like a dumb ass, feels Dork's head, checking for his temp.
"Did you hear what I said," I repeat, "This guy is CRASHING."
The barista, still not looking at me, drawls, "Just tell him to restart."
"No," I say, frustrated, "Not Windows. This guy's crashing for REAL! He's having a heart attack. A HEART ATTACK!"
This gets everyone's attention. They jump out their seats and crowd around, happy and anxious. Nothing like seeing a grown man croak.
"My phone," Dork groans. "Give me my phone."
I fish around for his phone, finding a Palm Treo lodged in his dorky jacket. A "Member's Only" jacket! You've got to be kidding me!
"Okay, Billy Jr., tell me what to do."
"Call 911, *****."
"How? This phone has like 700 buttons."
"The call button," Dork gasps. "Hit the call button."
I hit the call button and we're in purple and blue land, just like his socks. Windows Mobile of course. What a coincidence.
Suppressing the gag reflex, I ask, "Now what?"
"That's the Today screen. Hit it one more time... and you'll get the call log."
I obey, against my better judgement. "Now what?"
"Select Dial Pad."
I'm trying to figure this out when the phone just crashes. SERIOUSLY. Just like in real life. I roll my eyes at Barry and he's holding back a laugh. ***** Windows, man. ***** Windows.
"***** it," I say, "I'll use MY phone."
I take out my iPhone, but before I can raise it to my face, Dork's hand closes over mine like a steel vise.
"No iPhone."
"Come on, dude. I'm trying to save your life."
"No iPhone," he repeats. "Anything but that."
I'm about to yank away, but his hand suddenly slackens, slapping against the floor with a thud. The crowd gathered around us goes wild.
"Is that an iPhone?" someone shouts. "Hey, can I see the internet browser? That ***** is really cool."
I'm checking for a pulse when someone totally grabs the phone from my hand. Thankfully, Barry snatches it back and leads the crowd outside, the phone held high above his head, so that the paramedics can get in, at last unhindered by the ALMIGHTY iPhone. Last I heard, Dork never made it to the hospital, deader than a Dell in Siberia. ***** Windows, man. ***** Windows.- brycelb, on 06/01/2008, -1/+2You should get your own blog if you want people to read your novels.
- eliot2000, on 06/02/2008, -1/+4MORE! What happened the next day?
- feliks2, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1I can almost see that happening, without some of the absurd details of course.
- ElBeh, on 06/02/2008, -0/+7That story is hilarious, but you don't have to post it in every thread that has anything to do with Apple.
- acidbathfan, on 06/02/2008, -1/+3That ***** was funny and would make for a great short video.
- DeviantDragon, on 06/01/2008, -5/+49Apple tries to succeed where Windows ME failed.
- waluigi14, on 06/02/2008, -3/+3Which was everywhere? So they already have?
- sodoh, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1yea that is the first thing I thought of when I saw ME. That was a complete mess of an operating system. Lets hope they don't reproduce the same mess.
Funny how words can have baggage.- Rotzooi, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Microsoft already reproduced that mess with Vista.
- xaeon, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1It's really easy to seperate those who have used ME from those who haven't with comments like that.
- Rotzooi, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Microsoft already reproduced that mess with Vista.
- IAmLegend24, on 06/01/2008, -24/+1I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
La, la, la, la (21x)
La, la, la, la (21x)
See I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make
La, la, la, la (21x)
La, la, la, la (21x)
This is a happy end
Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong
This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away
I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
New soul... (la, la, la, la,...)
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...- ECas123, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5*Throws rock in a Manilla folder at IAmLegend24*
- gamerzworld, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Mac Rock Air.
- sg7791, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1I was going to just keep scrolling. But then I realized your name is IAmLegend24. That movie ***** sucked. Dugg down.
- ECas123, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5*Throws rock in a Manilla folder at IAmLegend24*
- AndrewWiggin, on 06/02/2008, -2/+3How much?
- W0utR, on 06/02/2008, -4/+2We probably hear it on June 9.
- SuburbianMike, on 06/02/2008, -8/+12Wow, this is a big deal.........
..
.
... - myass666mlong, on 06/02/2008, -18/+2APPLE IS FOR RETARD NERD WITH TOO MUCH MONEY
- MacParrot, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6Apparently it isn't for anyone incapable of actually forming complete coherent sentences and for people who know where the caps lock key is.
But keep going. It totally works for you.
- MacParrot, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6Apparently it isn't for anyone incapable of actually forming complete coherent sentences and for people who know where the caps lock key is.
- pensel, on 06/02/2008, -2/+11Since no one has commented the clearly obvious (for the immediate at least) truth yet:
This revamped service is going to integrate deeply with iPhone; why would the many, many Windows users want an email suffix referring to a type of computer they don't use?
--
Also I'm sure marketing (read: steve jobs) is disturbed by its similarity to '.NET.'
(He joked about this at...I can't remember which keynote) - smashingmonkey, on 06/02/2008, -7/+5Wanna bet Apple is getting into the social networking thing?
- cgomez, on 06/02/2008, -0/+5Sure.
- irgeorge, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1I doubt it. Consider the potential Last.fm/Zune social type service they -could- be running on iTunes & the iTunes Music Store, but they don't.
- digitalarcanum, on 06/02/2008, -8/+6buried for pointless speculation and also to control the fanboy population. companies buy domains all the time and most of the time, nothing ever comes of it, however if Apple buys a domain it's front page news.
- normalkid, on 06/02/2008, -2/+8If all true, Me.com likely cost Apple $XX million.
Not something they likely bought "just in case".- mrBitch, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1well.. f***.me.com !
- Dracusis, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Two letter domains are multi-million dollar items, the fact that it is one of the oh-so-very-few English dictionary words as well puts me.com as one of the ~most~ valuable domain names ever, a value of 10s of millions wouldn't be unthinkable.
Something of that magnitude is defiantly no little thing. If this rumour is true, and it looks like it is, then you'd have to think Apple has a fairly solid plan on how to get that venture out of the red. This is why we're all itching to see what they've got planned for it.
In short, when a company shells out that much just for the domain alone, then it's no stretch to think that their follow-up will be just as epic.
Well... we hope.
- normalkid, on 06/02/2008, -2/+8If all true, Me.com likely cost Apple $XX million.
- qpingu, on 06/02/2008, -5/+3Mac Me would be terrible, only because it would remind people of Windows ME...
- tzon, on 06/02/2008, -4/+4What's worse is Apple is calling the pared-down version of its Me.com service MiniMe.
- deiloot, on 06/02/2008, -2/+0Not to mention the recent proliferation of midgets being depicted as gang raped by monkeys in classy films such as this http://www.nj.com/hobokennow/index.ssf/2008/05/con ...
- hagis, on 06/02/2008, -1/+4they should just bring eworld back from the grave!
- Nitrodist88, on 06/02/2008, -5/+3Windows ME.....
- mynameistux, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1that was worth getting out of bed for
- peestandingup, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2They need to axe the .Mac name because its hell searching for anything related to the name in search engines. You get Mac everything instead of what you're really looking for & """" don't help either & neither does "Dot Mac". Confusing much??
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -1/+3564,000,000 results for 'mac'
4,890,000,000 results for 'me'
I don't think renaming it to me.com is going to help much in your searching.- peestandingup, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1I dont remember saying they should name it "me" either.
- sanderscm2, on 06/02/2008, -1/+0Are you a girl?
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -1/+3564,000,000 results for 'mac'
- superkendall, on 06/02/2008, -4/+1Prediction - Apple is going to release iLife for Windows, in a push to get more people on mobile.me, and more people buying an iPhone.
- thefinger, on 06/02/2008, -2/+2Apple, I want a Mini-Me!!
- thefinger, on 06/02/2008, -7/+1I want to see mini.me
- batmanz, on 06/02/2008, -4/+2Probably a good thing, because the .mac service is the biggest crap rip-off that Apple offers. It needs a good fixin.
- deiloot, on 06/02/2008, -6/+0You can see mini.me getting raped by a gang of monkeys in this sure to be nominated film of the year http://www.nj.com/hobokennow/index.ssf/2008/05/con ...
- PabloMac, on 06/02/2008, -2/+4It's all about Me.
- MattM462, on 06/02/2008, -2/+1What about the .me top level domain going on sale soon for Montenegro?
- Makaveli5022, on 06/02/2008, -7/+0The only thing worse than that name is the quality of their products.
- Tikiman49, on 06/02/2008, -2/+7Coming soon, iMe.
- MavRevMatt, on 06/02/2008, -1/+9Apple has a long list of odd domain names such as Mammals.com, carbon.com, velocity-engine.com, eefoff.com, among others at http://mavrev.com/index/columns/matt/domain_discov ... . Then again other companies have equally weird domain names especially Google. RetardNation.com for example. A take on DiggNation?
- waluigi14, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6As explained above, Mammals.com is an inside joke that's a dig at Microsoft, the "Velocity Engine" is the audio system that iTunes uses, and "carbon" is a framework to let old Mac OS applications be ported to OS X.
- MavRevMatt, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Ah, didn't know those except for Mammals. Thanks.
- macattacks10, on 06/02/2008, -0/+3Velocity engine is a PPC instruction set, back when Apple still used PPC processors:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velocity_Engine
- waluigi14, on 06/02/2008, -0/+6As explained above, Mammals.com is an inside joke that's a dig at Microsoft, the "Velocity Engine" is the audio system that iTunes uses, and "carbon" is a framework to let old Mac OS applications be ported to OS X.
- WaveyRavey, on 06/02/2008, -1/+4MePod?
- Papajohn56, on 06/02/2008, -2/+2Why stop here? Why doesn't apple get a top level domain of .mac? That way we could have .mac addresses, like http://www.porno.mac
- Overture1928, on 06/02/2008, -1/+2or http://www.whatsup.mac
- Buzzpatrol, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Yeah why don't they 'Get' a top level domain... like pay $500 for it or so...
Really? That stupid? ok...
- Uaedaien, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2really hope they don't name the new service me. At least .mac is a sensible name for a mac service.
- HolyChimp, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Pretty soon it won't be a Mac service, it'll be an apple service.
- eldridgea, on 06/02/2008, -2/+17Right now I pay $120 a year for a Dreamhost account ($20 more than .Mac)
I get WebDav (iDisk)
500 GB of space and an extra 2GB every week I maintain the account.
6TB of Bandwidth a month and an extra 40GB every week.
I get web hosting, FTP, SFTP, SSH, as many accounts as I want (iWeb space).
I get email with IMAP and webmail, as many accounts as I want (.Mac mail).
I can also install Wordpress or a dozen other things in one click.
Come on Apple . . . for an extra $20 you just got owned, you can do better.- fLUx1337, on 06/02/2008, -1/+8I am not a fan of shared hosting at all - but Dreamhost?! Wow that just sucks... (and not just for the clear overselling, go store 500GB of files and use 6TB of transfer for $10 and see what happens. ;)
- NotaFanboy87, on 06/02/2008, -0/+0The thing about .mac is that it's an easy way to approach the web as far as media hosting, blogging and podcasting. One-Click publishing, and No-Code websites are a lot easier to deal with when you just care about having a website and not necessarily designing one. The Web Gallery's pretty cool too.
- clesch, on 06/02/2008, -1/+1cute, another dreamhost customer that thinks he could actually get what he pays for.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/overselling - outsid3rNo17, on 06/02/2008, -2/+1Hmmm.... what? Right now I pay 10$ a year for a Dreamhost account after discounts.
As for overselling, of course they oversell. But I have never seen another host give you that much freedom on a shared account. You can even install your own distribution of PHP and other programs. All this freedom does bring their servers down from time to time, but for a testing account its unbeatable. 10$ a year!
- easy4lif, on 06/02/2008, -5/+1I just hope I don't lose my .mac email address. Its my primary email and its gonna be a bitch to change over store accounts like amazon and reminding my friends and family of a .me email address.
- Stirk, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2If Apple is changing the name, I'm sure the old .mac accounts will still work. At the least, they will redirect mail to the newer me accounts.
- lzybassplayer, on 06/02/2008, -2/+0lol u n00b
- mojonandha, on 06/02/2008, -2/+2you are the only idiot i know of that pays 100$ for a substandard email service. dont tell me you publish thru iweb all the time and store 10gb of ur personal docs in idisk. there are several better options to do those kinda stuff. if only ppl like you donate 100$ a year for something good, this world would become a better place. peace fugly
- NotaFanboy87, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Hey jerk,
The .Mac service isn't bad for what people use it for. Believe it or not, not everybody wants to ***** around with FTP, Domains and Hosting. They just want an easy site to blog to that they can call they're own. Or maybe they work at a school and don't feel like burning field trip DVDs for every lil kid's parents all night long (the Web Gallery is pretty neat, with much better video quality than YouTube). The email isn't substandard, it's just as good as any other IMAP email (which bests all ISP emails, Hotmail, Yahoo, and MSN). Back to my Mac and iDisk have saved my ass on numerous occasions with homework and term papers. Also, since a lot of new programs sync, save, or integrate in some unique way with .Mac, it's a pretty potent choice in approaching the web.
Of course, if you're rather web-savvy, then you need to graduate to something better faster and cheaper.
It's kind of like the switch from an automatic transmission to a manual....- mojonandha, on 06/06/2008, -0/+1Let me tell you something *****. At this point of evolution of the interwebs, if you spend 10% of the time you spend on video games, you can easily find a alternative solution to .mac which does everything .mac does and more. I have used dotmac mail for few months and I should say that Apple doesnt give a ***** abt downtime. if dotmac is down for 2 days , what do they lose? A few extra phone calls to their customer support reps and few trips to the genius bar? ***** they care abt dotmac.
- NotaFanboy87, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1Hey jerk,
- Coug, on 06/02/2008, -2/+1The Apple Me.
- fanclerks, on 06/02/2008, -2/+3I think I've figured out what they're gonna call the new dotMac. Based upon the service name found in the iPhone 2.0 SDK http://www.macnn.com/articles/08/05/30/mac.name.ch ... and this, I think it's reasonable to assume they might rename it to be Mobile ME. I wouldn't be surprised if ME is an acronym for Mac Experience. Since they are integrating the iPhone more into the service, it is basically an extension of the Mac Experience. I'm making a big leap here, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if that's what they end up doing.
- fanclerks, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2Whoever gave me a negative digg, you could at least post a comment about why you disagree.
- brownrecluse888, on 06/02/2008, -7/+1I see the same people whining about apple posts are the same Obama Fan Girlies that worship every move he makes....hey, I just heard Obama won Texas and clinton is a "fill in the blank oh young digg obama-tard that has never voted before and probably won't show up this time because they are hung over on Zima)
But back on topic. I've used .mac off and on, and I think its a great service for the novice user. It allows VERY easy backups of critical system stuff, allows anyone to make a quick webpage, blog, photo gallery, etc all with the push of a few buttons. But yes, for more advanced users there are better cheaper faster options....- dred1367, on 06/02/2008, -2/+2Your mom is a better, cheaper, faster option.
- leprix, on 06/02/2008, -0/+1"
You never closed your quote.
- RedSquaree, on 06/02/2008, -16/+7I hate Apple.
- reasonyousmile, on 06/02/2008, -6/+3mac.me(.com)
Ohhh, baby! - lopla, on 06/02/2008, -4/+10BREAKING: Microsoft just purchased "Myself.com", is awaiting the launch of Me.com to commence failed cloning.
- jp12380, on 06/02/2008, -0/+2In other news Microsoft also purchased Irene.com
-
Show 51 - 77 of 77 discussions

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