What is Digg?249 Comments
- MasterNayru, on 06/18/2008, -8/+27410. Put the iPhone in your pocket and start talking to her.
- umbriago, on 06/18/2008, -8/+15812. Show her your screensaver...."there's my car....my pad...my penis...my penis again..."
- sluggysan, on 06/17/2008, -8/+1438. Weather -- Just think how impressed they'll be when you can tell them that Thursday looks party cloudy, but Friday is definitely thunderstorms. Electrifying!
- alabare, on 06/18/2008, -2/+115Was showing off my iPhone to a girl at work once who proceeded to Safari. Forgot to clear my history. She STILL asks me why I was searching on "how to feed a kangaroo".
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -8/+111Put the phone on vibrate, put in in HER pants, and call yourself.
- idc5, on 06/18/2008, -36/+98Am I the only person who thinks a lot of iPhone users are doucebags crying for attention?
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -3/+64how else do you know what to feed kangaroos?
- gelato822, on 06/18/2008, -10/+71the guy i'm dating must have read this a few weeks ago
- thewordisberry, on 06/18/2008, -4/+59"When iPhone was first released, just having one was enough to draw attention and establish hipness with beautiful women." Thanks, I needed a laugh. :)
- immatimt, on 06/18/2008, -3/+56You must not be on an iPhone because you just used copy and paste.
- Urkel, on 06/18/2008, -1/+51Pinch to resize.
- FlexibleFlyer88, on 06/18/2008, -8/+5611. shoot a fireball out of it
- Someguy101, on 02/19/2009, -1/+46Just be thankful that she didn't see any of the other things you searched for.
- skeletorcares, on 06/18/2008, -8/+50Seems a bit counter-intuitive. What would a iPhone user do with a woman?
That's like giving a child a motorcycle. They'll have no idea what to do with it and will only hurt themselves. - hokie47, on 06/18/2008, -1/+40The woman at the mall was not too impressed with the up skirt shot I took of her with my IPhone.
- Irfit, on 06/18/2008, -13/+521. Unlock it
unlock iphone
Nothing tempts a girl's wild side like a bad boy, and that's exactly what an unlocked iPhone says: I don't play by the rules, danger doesn't scare me, and I have crazy skills you can't even comprehend. Plus it gives you access to the 3rd party apps that are too cool for regular users.
Who cares if it can be done by any chump in 45 seconds. She doesn't know that. Bonus points for using the term "hacked" and alluding to the danger of an iPhone being "bricked".
2. All-Star Photo Album
So you just met a cute girl. How do you prove that you do amazing things all the time and have many cool friends? This is the ideal use-case for the All-Star photo album. Create a special album on your iPhone of all your most impressive pics: snow boarding in the Swiss Alps, you with your friends at the Radiohead concert, and pictures of you with other attractive women are all good candidates.
When you get her alone for a moment, say something like, "OMG you've gotta see this photo of me [insert cool thing here]" and proceed to go through the entire album, commenting about how great a time you had and how cool your friends are.
3. iPod Tunes Master
Dozens of targeted playlists in the palm of your hand. This needs no explanation. Create playlists to set different moods: chill, party-time, low key, and of course, romantic. To get the ultimate effect, invest in a set of portable speakers. When you bust out the tunes at the beach, park, etc. you will be the man. We highly recommend flipping through cover flow mode for maximum visual effect.
4. Contacts, the more the merrier
Make sure you have lots of contacts, because seriously, you are so freaking popular. To inflate your contacts count, import all of your email contacts into your address book and upload them to iPhone. She won't know that 2/3 of those people have never seen you in person.
Expert tip: Complain about searching your contacts list saying, "I can't stand looking for contacts on my iPhone -- it only lets you search by 1 letter. How am I supposed to sort through 300 Johns?" Note: This is the only acceptable circumstance to complain about iPhone.
5. Stocks
Women like men with money and ambition. Show her you're on the way to wealth by constantly checking your stocks. When you catch her trying to see what you're looking at, casually comment on your gains and losses, throwing around buzz words like "credit crisis", "oil bubble", and "consumer confidence". Assure her you will achieve superior returns by investing in commodities and precious metals that will be essential to the growth of developing nations.
6. Save the Day with Maps
Maps is the ultimate clutch iPhone feature. The best time to break it out is when you're with a group of people and need to find something in an unknown area -- pizza, hardware store, gas station, etc. As soon as the opportunity arises, execute a search in maps and lead the group to success. Even better if you can use iPhone to instantly call the place. By solving the problem and taking charge you'll establish yourself as a resourceful leader -- a quality highly regarded by women.
7. Look Smart with Safari
When an argument arises over a particular fact, look smarter than everyone else by finding the correct answer with Google. This is the only time you will wish to conceal iPhone use from females. It's great for settling disputes about the proper definition of a word or the location of obscure African nations.
In case it's not clear, using iPhone will make you look like a rich, smart, cultured, resourceful, exciting, and popular bad ass. We can't wait for 3G. - aimhelix, on 06/18/2008, -1/+39One way to un-impress women:
1. Whip your phone out in a bar, trying to look cool & important. - GuacamoleSan, on 06/18/2008, -0/+37Willynilly is tagged as a reason why women stay away from the net
- alabare, on 06/18/2008, -1/+38EXACTLY!
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -1/+36Yeah, I'm sure she wasn't just after a big tip or anything. She was just really interested in you and your awesome gadgets.
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -8/+42Where is:
8) Buy an iPhone for the girl you're trying to impress.
You cheap-skates! - TheLoneHoot, on 06/18/2008, -0/+30...then go out to the parking lot, pop your collar and let her see your spray on tan and frosted highlights as you stand next to your pimped BMW 3 series.
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -0/+29so why were you searching how to feed kangaroos?
- Skunkhair, on 06/18/2008, -11/+39I went out to eat last night and there was this hot little waitress and she was so envious of my iphone. I thought to myself, 1: I thought it had been out long enough that it doesn't really wow people anymore. 2: damning the fact that i was married.
- Hiji, on 06/17/2008, -6/+33My personal favorite wasn't included -- use iPhone as a non-lethal weapon for subduing terrorists and enemy ninjas!
- BeforeSputnik, on 06/18/2008, -1/+27The iPhone gets you sex with 16 yr old girls? Did i just see Apple's stock go up?
- inactive, on 06/18/2008, -3/+26Showing your mom doesn't count.
- davidhallstrom, on 06/17/2008, -10/+32Humorous so it's worth a digg.
- phike, on 06/18/2008, -5/+27This entire article has to be sarcastic, right?
- leetninja, on 06/18/2008, -4/+25dude dell hasnt made a phone yet ....
- houndeyex, on 06/18/2008, -2/+22TELL ME I'M PRETTY
BUY ME THINGS
No thanks. Leave those girls at home. - wellyuk, on 06/18/2008, -4/+24You'd be surprised how often I call up hookers on my iPhone and get laid as a result. Not every time, but most.
- stuartg, on 06/18/2008, -4/+22iphones will really impress the ladies.. seeing as every 16 yr old girl has one.
"omg you have an iphone too, let's have sex" - NRay7882, on 06/18/2008, -5/+2311) Looking up the right answer doesn't make you cool, it makes you a dick who always needs to prove people wrong.
- Feroh, on 06/18/2008, -4/+2110. "You think that's impressive? Let me show you what else I can do with just two fingers..."
- abarysh2, on 06/18/2008, -2/+18...but then she will know how to use it and whatever you do now is no longer impressive
- sdevinen, on 06/18/2008, -2/+18not to mention that you can show how she can use her fingers to enlarge the penis...
- Snap65, on 06/18/2008, -14/+29Apple turns people into douchebags. It's just that iPhone users are "mobile douchebags" compared to OSX Leopard Douchebag Fan Boys. I'm not a Windows, Linux, or Mac lover by any means I like all three. I've just noticed that Apple users tend be mostly douchebags crying to attention.
- tenspeedogbb, on 06/18/2008, -0/+15Buried as innacurate.
- wellyuk, on 06/18/2008, -0/+14And if all that fails, there's always rhohypnol.
- alabare, on 06/18/2008, -3/+16Eh, that's the stuff I'm usually showing off by nights end. Be surprised how impressed girls are with porn on your phone.
- skeletorcares, on 06/19/2008, -0/+12lets start with the basics. aka talking to a woman.
don't just run up and start fingering a girl. that's called rape.
Told you iPhone users weren't ready for a women yet. - inactive, on 06/18/2008, -1/+13He probably has those stupid star tattoos on his arms too.
- MyNameIsJoe, on 06/18/2008, -0/+12I had to search it just to see what would come up.
- alpha88, on 06/17/2008, -6/+18"In the past year iPhone has become common place."
Hah, not in Canada, I'm still in the clear. - simonbp, on 06/18/2008, -2/+14"In case it's not clear, using iPhone will make you look like a rich, smart, cultured, resourceful, exciting, and popular bad ass. We can't wait for 3G."
Following in the Apple spirit, how about we simplify "bad ass" to just "ass". There. That's better. - alabare, on 06/18/2008, -1/+12I have no complaints from said Kangaroo thus far...
- gelato822, on 06/18/2008, -1/+12no, but your comment is.
- EtherGnat, on 06/18/2008, -0/+10MacGyver doesn't need an iPhone. He can make a smartphone from a pie plate, a package of Juicy Fruit, and a wiring harness from a 1988 Ford Escort.
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