What Should I Do After Finding My Day Care Provider Breastfeeding My Baby, And Other Advice Column Questions
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​​​There are too many excellent (and crazy) advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.​​

What Should I Do After Discovering My Day Care Provider Breastfeeding My Baby?

I am a single mother of an adopted baby, and I am opting to formula-feed since I can't lactate. I am a working mom as well, and found a home day care provider who seemed amazing — she has two kids of her own (one a little older than my daughter) and has run this home day care for five years or so.

The only bump in the road was on the first day when I pulled out the formula and bottles, and she wrinkled her nose and said, "You feed her that slop?" I ignored the barb (I'm used to it), gave a quick rundown, and went on my way. Two months later, this past Friday, I got off work early and decided to pick up my daughter early… I started the sign-out process, and as I was doing so, the day care assistant walked by and saw me. 

She tried to engage me with conversation, but I wanted to get my daughter so I brushed by her. When I got to the area of the house where my daughter was, I about fell over. The day care provider was NURSING MY BABY!

I marched over, took the baby from her arms, and asked her if she was crazy. The provider said that she was saving my baby from chemicals I was trying to force into her body and I should thank her for doing it all these months! I didn't say anything; I just grabbed the diaper bag and got the hell out of there.

But now I am not sure what to do. Obviously, I am not sending my daughter back there, but should I report her to the umbrella company she is under for home day cares, or should I make a huge blast on social media? My sister says I should send out texts to the parents that have kids there so they can do their own check-ins, but that is too much I think. Your thoughts?

[Slate]

"This is a huge breach of trust, a total violation, and absolutely worth reporting," replies Daniel Mallory Ortberg. "Please do it." Read the rest of his answer.

Don't I Have A Right To Be Angry After Learning My Late Wife Once Had Lunch And Dinner With Another Man?

My wife died seven years ago. Two weeks ago, I was reading a travel diary that she kept while in Europe on business. My wife and I were not married at the time, but had been a couple for 12 years.

My wife was staying in a converted castle for a seminar with other managers. I read in her journal that one day she had lunch and dinner with a man named Jerry. I was destroyed. I have brought this up to a few friends and relatives, and most of the women said the same thing — that it was just lunch and dinner.

I am angry that she accepted the invitation at all. I know I don't have any way to get the truth, and I also have no recourse. I talked to an old girlfriend of hers who said my wife was a "one-man woman." Sure, I'm thinking — maybe one man at a time. Am I being too critical?

[Tribune Content Agency]

Amy Dickinson confirms that the letter writer's suspicions are unreasonable. "You really need to get a grip about this, but if you find you are obsessing, still angry, and can't let it go, see a counselor," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Can I Exclude My Boyfriend's Son's Girlfriend For Being Reclusive And Messy And Having Had Plastic Surgery?

My boyfriend's adult son "Matt," and Matt's girlfriend "Olive" sometimes stay at our vacation house. Olive locks herself in the bedroom to sleep or watch TV all day, and comes out for dinner dressed provocatively and wanting something other than what we prepared. When we hosted our annual family cookout she hardly socialized. I went to their room get some extra sweatshirts and was shocked to see wet towels, suitcases opened and contents spewed on the floor, a basket of Olive's shoes in the middle of the room, TV and A/C on, half-eaten food, several half-filled glasses, and open soda cans. I snapped a few pictures, which Matt happened to see later on. When my boyfriend confronted his son about Olive, Matt said she hates coming here and they were offended by me photographing their room. Olive looks like a Barbie doll with her collagen lip injections, lash and hair extensions, breast and butt enhancements, and top designer threads and accessories, all at his son's expense. I want to tell this woman that her behavior is unacceptable and she is no longer welcome to stay with us, but my boyfriend is afraid that his son will stay away.

[Boston Globe]

Robin Abrahams observes that the letter writer has not exactly been welcoming or compassionate to Olive. "I wouldn't be especially eager to spend quality time with someone who's clearly devoted extensive thought to the chemical composition of my breasts and lips, either," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Do I Move On After Someone Noticed My Limp And Left Me A Note Telling Me To Pick Up My Feet?

Recently someone left an envelope on my desk. In it was a piece of paper that said "please pick your feet up when you walk." I have a leg condition that causes me to limp. I thought it was not noticeable. I brought the note to HR and informed my manager. It's being investigated.

In the meantime, I am so suspicious of everyone and self-conscious every time I get up, or more accurately, take a step. I know I need to let this go but I am having trouble working with people who might have been the note writer. I can't help my limp, I can help how well I do my job. How do I move on from this?

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Greene points out that just because one person in the letter writer's office is a jerk doesn't mean everyone in the office is a jerk. "I'm betting that this person will feel like an enormous a-hole if they learn this is a medical condition, and I'm hoping your office assists them in that realization about themselves," she adds. Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Force My Acquaintance To Open Up To Me About Her ALS Diagnosis?

A woman I know has ALS, and I want to help. I write medical articles, so reading and explaining new research is a useful skill I have. She has told only a small number of friends that she has the condition, and I learned about it by accident.

It seems silly to me to keep pretending I don't know when everyone else around her does. When I showed her a summary of a research article on ALS, she said she didn't know why I was showing it to her. As long as I know anyway, I wish I could be let in on the secret so I can be helpful. Any ideas?

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren says that the best way to be helpful is to back off. "When you put your foot in the door, it was shut firmly in your face," she writes. "Now it's time to respect her privacy." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Manage My 11-Year-Old Son's Obsession With Brexit?

My son is obsessed with Brexit. (We are Americans with no particular connection to the United Kingdom, which I feel obliged to mention upfront.) He is 11 and mildly neuro-atypical, but very successfully mainstreamed and thriving at school and home. We're familiar with his extreme interests and the vigor he brings to them, but this one is pushing the limits of our patience. Brexit has been going on for SO LONG, and I just don't know how much longer I can listen to daily 40-minute monologues about the latest nondevelopments.

[Slate]

Nicole Cliffe gives the letter writer permission to be gently honest with their son when they get frustrated with the Brexit monologuing. "He needs to develop the skill of knowing when people are getting bored by him, and you can help him develop that skill by talking about conversation flow, about the ways in which people nonverbally indicate they're ready to move on," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

<p>L.V. Anderson is Digg's managing editor.</p>

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