FOR OVER $400, YOU CAN LOOK LIKE THIS
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The internet is very good at providing pre-weekend parting shots — things we just won't be able to get out of our heads until the Monday-to-Friday rhythms resume. ​Sometimes they're news stories, sometimes they're memes… and this time, they're jeans.

 

The small size of that embedded image does little to hide the sin of those pants. Your eyes are not fooling you: Gucci made jeans that look like they've been spilled on or, uh, worse. Check this page for the same jeans at retailer Lyst for a closer look at the front and back stains on these denim nightmares. 

 lyst/Gucci

 Better yet, check out the glamour shots over at Browns1 that are accompanied by this description that really strains to avoid the obvious first-sight impression these pants make:

These blue and black Gucci cotton dye stained tapered jeans might look like they got into a fight with an angry textile artist, however they were designed in Italy by our Michele. Fabricated from denim, these Gucci trousers feature belt loops, a hidden front zip and button placket, a five pocket design, tapered leg and a black dye stain effect at the front and back.

"Fight with an angry textile artist," "black dye stain effect" — this is what we're going with? Really?

My generous take would be to call these "faux-muddy jeans," but apparently those are their own thing (and are also bad). You could call them spilled-coffee-on-your-lap pants, but that really doesn't account for the stains on the butt. If you call them poop stain jeans, which you probably will, that leaves the stains on the front mysteriously unexplained.

I've got it: these jeans are what it looks like when you're playing "The Sims" and stop a Sim from going to the bathroom, instantly covering them in an all-over layer of filth.

These are soiled-Sim jeans that retail for a reduced price of $442, and I won't be able to stop thinking about them for the rest of the weekend. Now, neither will you.

[h/t @playoffs_DR_llc]

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Why are you laughing? Stop that.

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