'David Lynch Teaches Typing' Is The Best Thing Online This Week
Do you wish you had the ability to type perfect sentences, guided only by the sensations from the pads of your fingertips? Do you also have a insatiable hankering for a slice of cherry pie and a cup of coffee?
If you have answers to these questions, then you should give "David Lynch Teaching Typing" a go. Developed by Rhino Stew Productions, the game features the titular surrealist filmmaker1 walking you through the basics of sound typing fundamentals.
"By the time you finish this computer program, you will be a typing wizard," David Lynch promises at the outset.
David Lynch asks you to put your left index finger on the "F" key. You put your finger on the "F" key. David Lynch asks you to put your right index finger on the "J" key. You oblige him.
He congratulates you in the most sincere terms.
"Beautiful. We're doing beautiful work here," he assures you. "That was just great!"
David Lynch is very proud of your nascent touch typing prowess. He rewards you with a break for a coffee and a smoke. You can take as long as you like. Enjoy the music. Come back when you're ready to learn some more.
And that is where things begin to get interesting.
It would be a shame to say exactly what happens once David Lynch moves beyond teaching you how to locate the two most important keys on the home row. But those who are familiar with Lynch can expect it to go in a direction that is faithful to his body of work.
Like most things, it's best experienced on your own. Maybe when you get home from work and the sun has set, you draw the curtains and boot up your machine. You head over to the itch.io page and download David Lynch Teaching Typing for your operating system of choice (Windows, Mac or Linux). And you do what David Lynch tells you. Has he steered you wrong before?
