SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU UP AT NIGHT
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​​This is What Would Happen If, a close examination of mundane hypothetical situations. Each week, we look at something that you could do but probably never would, and take it to its logical endpoint. This week: What would happen if you just never tried to wash your sheets?

Who doesn't love a set of fresh, clean sheets? They smell great, and they feel great. "You know, these sheets are great and all, but they're just a little too clean for my taste," is something no one has ever uttered in earnest.

That said, to achieve clean sheets is no small task. You must strip the bed of its linens. You must find, and be willing to devote, the necessary washing machine real estate. You must make the bed. Granted, amongst the many challenges, complications and chores life thrusts upon us washing your sheets isn't the most taxing, but it's also not the most trivial.

We're not here to justify you not washing your sheets, nor are we here to elevate regular cleaning of your bed linens as a virtuous call of Real Adulting. All we are here to do is lay out cause and effect. It is up to you to examine the consequences and determine if they are acceptable or not. Such is the fabric of humanity.

In order to understand what happens when sheets go unwashed, we must first understand some basic facts about the human body.

Fact number one: No matter how clean you are, your body sheds dead skin cells. Recent research suggests that you shed the entire outer layer of your epidermis every two to four weeks. That's about a pound and a half of dead skin cells flaking off your body annually.

Fact number two: No matter how clean you are your body still sweats. There are, science has found, somewhere between two million to five million sweat glands on your body which have the capacity to produce some 3 gallons of sweat and oil per day.

Fact number three: No matter how clean you are, you body plays host to a wide variety of microorganisms — bacteria, fungi, viruses and so on. Scientists estimate that your body holds more bacteria cells than it does actual human cells. Not millions of bacteria, not billions, not even trillions, but quadrillions of bacteria call your body home.

You spend, roughly, a third of that time sleeping. You can probably do the math on how much dead skin, sweat oil and bacteria find their way into your sheets.

So what happens when all of that starts to accumulate on your sheets? Well, think of your sheets as a big t-shirt. Every night you get into this shirt and lay there for somewhere between 6-8 hours. Day after day of this and the bacteria and organic matter will start to accumulate. As anyone who's worn a shirt for days on end can attest, this accumulation will lead to some unpleasant odors.

What happens next after this point are a series of knock-on effects that may or may not happen. Let's put this into a context in which everyone can understand: Video games. As time goes on, your sheets have a greater and greater chance to inflict a bunch of status ailments.

As more bacteria is introduced into your sheets — either by you or others — any open cuts present a chance to contract an infection. Or, as more oil builds up you increase your chances of breaking out in zits. Or, as more skin cells are deposited into your linens, pillows and mattresses the more dust mites, who love to eat your dead skin cells, you'll attract, possibly setting off a dust mite allergy. Or if you're sick, whatever germs you're spewing out might hang in your sheets and get yourself or whomever you care you share your bed with sick. None of these things could happen, or all of them. Not washing your sheets only increases the risk.

Is not washing your sheets an extremely serious health hazard? Not exactly. Would it be culturally considered "gross" to be sleeping in sheets that haven't been washed in months. Probably. The truth is it's your bed. You made it, and you'll inevitably have to lay in it.

<p>Steve Rousseau is the Features Editor at Digg.&nbsp;</p>

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