Welcome to What We Learned This Week, a digest of the most curiously important facts from the past few days. This week: the perils of Neil deGrasse Tyson's pedantry, how often you should poop and starting a fire with a lemon.
HE'S NOT WRONG...
Neil deGrasse Tyson's Pedantry Is Getting Tedious
On balance, Neil deGrasse Tyson has done an immense amount of work raising the public's awareness around science. But peel back the veneer of his good fight against anti-science and you're left with something that isn't exactly pro-science. Starting a feud with B.o.B. over why the Earth isn't flat doesn't promote science, nor does it "convert" non-believers. Endlessly tweeting about scientifically incorrect things in 'Star Wars' isn't getting anyone to thumb through a research paper. At his best, Tyson helps the public understand complex astrophysics, like calculating the trajectory of an asteroid. At his worst, his pedantry and peddling of tautologies only entrenches his true believers — the ones who love science and being Aggressively Right.
LEARNING HOW THE SAUSAGE IS MADE
Hot Dog University Is Real, And It Costs $699
Like most things, there is a subtle art to hawking hot dogs. There is an order of assemblage you must abide by. The bun is carefully splayed open by running a thumb along the seam. The dog is nestled. The mustard and relish are smeared directly on top of the dog. The proper vegetation is added, first the onions, which embed themselves in the neon yellow-green spread, then the cradle of tomato wedges and a kosher dill pickle spear. Finish with a shake of celery salt. Of course, there are other tricks to the hot dog trade, boring things like supply chain management, dog selection and storage guidelines, but this much knowledge easily makes the $699 price tag for the two-day course seem like a pittance.
TIME IS A FLAT TIRE
Life Is A Lot Like This Tire Cutting Machine
In life, instant change is very rare. Sure, life can indeed "come at you fast" like this tire, being suddenly, violently split in half. But upon looking back, you'll find that change — a break-up, a death, a new job — is the culmination of a slow, deliberate and unflinching pressure. You know, like this tire cutting machine.
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A PRODUCT OF HIS ENVIRONMENT
Donald Trump Acts Like A Cartoon Villain Because People Treat Him Like One
You might sympathize with Anthony Senecal, Trump's butler at his estate in Florida. When Senecal wanted to retire, Trump would not let him. When Trump gave tours of the 90-year-old Mar-a-Lago estate, Senecal would grin and bear it as Donald spouted untruths about the mansion to his guests. However, Senecal, in his near 30 years of service to the Donald has just been an enabler. Foul moods placated with a bugler playing "Hail to the Chief," golf ball drive distances grossly over exaggerated, and even demanding staff to rise at attention whenever Trump enters a room. Very sad.
EVERYONE POOPS... AT THEIR OWN PACE
Don't Worry About How Often You Poop
You are special and your poop is special. What is regular for one person may not be regular for another. So get to know your schedule of deposits. It's only when things start to veer off schedule should you start to be alarmed.
COOL lemon party trick, though
Starting A Fire With A Lemon Is Not A Great Way To Start A Fire
The odds of you being stuck out in the wild with a lemon, copper clips, wire, steel wool and nails and NOT something else that can create a spark is highly unlikely — unless of course you're aboard a plane carrying shipments of citrus and school supplies.
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