MARCH 3 – 7
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Welcome to "What We Learned This Week," a regular feature where we share all the most interesting nuggets of information we gleaned from the past week.


This Guy Invented Our Favorite Childhood Toy And Our Favorite Way To Make Coffee

Adler playing with his second-best invention. 

Alan Adler personally holds over 40 patents, but his two most interesting ones are in very different fields. Back in the 1960s, he came up with a more aerodynamic – and therefore farther-flying – frisbee called the Aerobie. We were hit in the mouth more than once by one of these during childhood and we're willing to bet you were as well. But seven years ago, Adler decided to get out of the hippie athletics supply industry and came up with an amazing way to make coffee. Now we prefer being hit in the mouth with the results of his most brilliant invention, the AeroPress.

We've Been Pooping In Public Restrooms All Wrong

So we've had our coffee and now it's time to… uh… poop. If you're stuck in a public place, watch this video before you rush off to the stalls. Don't worry, we've got plenty of reading material for you once you sit down.

The Ten Habits Of Highly Unflabby People

Do you hate dieting? Do you still want to look marginally attractive for potential mates? So does everyone else on the planet. Diet and exercise are still the best way to achieve the body you want, but diet and exercise also kind of suck. So short of subsisting on kale chips and quinoa while logging hours on the treadmill, here are some simple things you can do to burn around 10,000 more calories per week. Step one: Stand up! 

The Secret Stuff The Pentagon Is Blowing Billions On

According to the latest budget documents, the Pentagon plans to spend $58.7 billion of its $495.6 billion budget on secret or "black" projects. Or at least that's what they claim. While the Army may call something "Tractor Hip" and the Navy may say it's spending money on "Chalk Eagle," they're actually spending money on things like "spy satellites, stealth bombers, next-missile-spotting radars, next-gen drones, and ultra-powerful eavesdropping gear." In reality, they've probably hidden even more expenditures under innocuous names in other sections of the budget. Sort of like how you tell your parents that you don't spend money on beer, but rather on "liquified bread." 

We Resurrected A Gigantic 30,000-Year-Old Virus From Siberian Permafrost And It's Still Capable Of Killing

Why are scientists always trying to kill us all? This week, a 30,000-year-old virus was freed from its icy Siberian grave. Not only was it the largest virus ever discovered, but it was still alive and capable of killing amoebas. Why is this so frightening? Well, as climate change continues to melt the ends of the Earth, it seems logical to conclude that other malicious microscopic killers might be liberated from their icy prisons as well. BRB, we're running out to stock up on spam and duct tape.

Vitali Kitschko Would Probably Beat The Crap Out Of Vladimir Putin In A Fight

Both Russian President Vladimir Putin and former-world-heavyweight-champion-turned-Ukranian-opposition-leader Vitali Klitschko have impressive backgrounds in unarmed combat. So what would happen if the two men decided to settle the dispute in Crimea the old-fashioned way? Don King, please make this happen. Please.

Touching Boxer Shorts Makes Women Think Differently About Sex

Speaking of shirtless men strutting their stuff, it turns out that just as men's minds immediately pivot toward sex upon seeing the smallest hint of a bra, so do women's. So guys, next time you want to put your lady in the mood, don't just strip down to nothing, point at yourself and croon, "Helloooooooo!" Ask for help folding your laundry and let her take care of your boxers. Oh, and impress her by remembering how to fold a fitted sheet.

America's Effort To Bring Home Its War Dead Is Slow And Shamefully Inefficient

More than 83,000 people have been classified as missing in action or prisoners of war from America's conflicts in WWII, Korea and Vietnam. Of those, the Pentagon has deemed 45,000 "recoverable." It is a monumental task, but it's being completed at an unacceptable pace. Currently, only about 70 of these fallen Americans are identified, recovered and brought home each year. 

That Little Round Hole In The Elevator Door Has A Purpose

When we're in an elevator we spend most of our time resisting the urge to hit every single button. Next time we're in one, we'll restrain ourselves and loudly lecture those innocents trapped with us on the history of the weird round hole in every elevator door. Turns out it's a keyhole. And we definitely shouldn't be trusted with this key.

LA Gang Members Are Reportedly Fighting For Assad In Syria

"Creeper" and "Wino" are two "homies" from Los Angeles-based gangs Sur-13 and Westside Armenian Power. But they're no longer in LA. Instead, the pair are just two of at least 50 American citizens fighting in Syria. Apparently, fighting for Assad can be more profitable than running the streets of a major American metropolis. Plus, there's definitely less traffic to deal with.

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