What We Learned This Week
Welcome to "What We Learned This Week," a regular feature where we share all the most interesting nuggets of information we picked up in the past week.
Apple Will Release Two New iPads
To be honest, Apple's press event on Thursday was a little anti-climatic. The day before, news of the iPad Air 2 and the iPad Mini 3 leaked, deflating the whole thing and leaving a whimpering fart sound in its wake. But the show must go on, and they unveiled the new iPads, as well as a new iMac with a Retina display, and a more powerful Mac Mini. Computers get faster, and life moves on.
Poop Banks Exist, And They Will Pay You $40 Per Dump
MIT's OpenBiome wants your turds so bad they're willing to pay for them. The nation's first independent nonprofit stool bank (yes, there is more than one stool bank) collects the samples, catalogs them and then gives them to hospitals for fecal microbiata transplantation — where doctors transplant one person's feces into another in order introduce healthy bacteria in the gut. It's one of the most effective ways to cure intestinal infections. Stop laughing!
A Frozen Poop Pill Can Cure Your Intestinal Infection
In related poop news, a new study has found a way to introduce fecal matter into a patient's gut with a pill — making the aforementioned fecal transplants a thing of the past. Now, doctors can order their patients to literally eat shit and live.
Famed American chef David Chang has pretty exacting standards when it comes to food. His ramen broth requires a very particular bacon. He hates chicken soup. He has blanket hatred for American miso. And now, in his regular GQ column, he reveals that he isn't a fan of craft beer either. And we have to agree with him. What's the fun in drinking a double-IPA and ruining your palette for the next 24 to 48 hours? Buds may taste like water, but they're cheap, you can drink a lot of 'em, and the alcohol in them works just the same.
Thanks To Technology, We Can Predict Where Rebounds Go
A good rebounder in basketball has two things: relentless hustle, and a sixth sense of where the ball is going to go if and when it doinks off the basket. With the rise of player tracking in the NBA, big data can now tell players where a rebound is likely to end up for any shot on the court — meaning the mechanics of rebounding can now be coached. The relentless hustle? Well, you can't really teach that.
Skipping A Rock Across A Frozen Lake Makes A Cool Sound, And Also Makes You Fart
Skipping a rock on a frozen body of water is like bowling with bumpers. But the sound it makes is a cross between a laser, and that sound effect movies use when high-tension wires are about to snap. And it's so excited you might just let one slip.
Butchering An Animal Is Never Easy
Raising and slaughtering your own animals is considered the most sustainable — and tastiest — way to consume meat. But for one farmer, taking an animal from the pasture and getting it into the smoker never gets easier.
There are an infinite number of things one could have spray painted onto this Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport. One vandal chose to leave a poorly-drawn penis on the hood. It seems fitting.
The Balloon Boy Is Now In A Metal Band
Remember Balloon Boy? The viral news hoax that had cable networks convinced two parents managed to let a helium weather balloon carry their son away into the stratosphere? Quartz caught up with Falcon Heene and his parents. One of the more interesting tidbits: He started a metal band, and only one song is about the balloon.
GamerGate Is How Every Culture War Will Unfold From Now On
GamerGate is a hate campaign posing as an earnest call for ethics. A distracting mess of victim-blaming and rhetorical misdirection — and going forward, this is exactly how cultural luddites will attempt to cling on to their outdated beliefs.
Someone Is Making a One-Piece Suit, And You Can Take A Shit Without Taking It Off
The Suitsy is nothing but convenient. You may not look as good as someone in an actual tailored suit, and if your fellow suit-wearers find out you're wearing a one-piece suit they'll probably ignore you for the rest of the night. But the ability to pinch a loaf or see a man about a horse without taking your pants off is an alarmingly attractive concept.
Yelling That You Have Ebola On A Bus Will Get You Arrested
On Monday afternoon, and man and a woman got onto a bus in Los Angeles, loudly informed their fellow passengers they were infected with Ebola and then got off. Now, the FBI is looking for the man, treating what was probably a poor-taste practical joke as a "possible terrorist or criminal threat." Shouting Ebola on a crowded bus: the 21st century version of shouting fire in a crowded theater.
Bars Are Into The Boilermaker Again
Looking for something to overthink, a handful of trendy bars are now elevating the blue-collar standby of a shot and a beer. On the bright side, the best thing about a fancy boilermaker is that it'll help you forget the fact you just spent $12 on it.
Some Guy Thinks He Can Get $150,000 For Ebola.com
It was thought that domain squatting died out with the last tech bubble, but Blue String Ventures is still ticking. They want six figures for a domain with the same name of the virus that's killed 4,000 people worldwide. Oh, and they also own BirdFlu.com, Fukushima.com, and PotassiumIodide.com. Capitalism!