What Fills The World's Cups

With the World Cup now underway, let's take a look what slakes the thirst of these 32 countries, and help you to authentically celebrate your teams through their homelands' beverages. Personally, we don't play favorites so we'll be imbibing all of these drinks in equal measure. See you in the hospital! 

Iran – Doogh 

Because Muslims are barred from consuming alcoholic beverages in Iran (and Muslims, according to the CIA, make up over 99% of the population), we figure their players might be sipping some of this softer drink made from yogurt, water and sometimes mint, salt or cucumber bits. We've never had doogh, but we'll vouch for its Japanese cousin, calpis.

Japan – Saké

This "rice wine" — which isn't a wine at all — has been enjoyed in Japan for 1,300 years, rather notably by Oda Nobunaga who, after defeating several of his enemies in the late 1500s, had their skulls fashioned into sake cups.

Australia – Victoria Bitter

As best as we can tell, Australia doesn't really have a "thing" when it comes to drink culture, but Aussies definitely love their beer. And although Foster's might be "Australian for beer," good old Victoria Bitter (or VB as it's known) takes the cake as the most beloved and best-selling domestic brew.

South Korea  – Soju

Soju is clear, delicious and made of rice, wheat or barley… or potatoes… or tapioca. Really, whatever's around, because the fact is that South Koreans drink. A lot. So much so that Jinro soju and Lotte soju are the first and third best-selling brands of booze on Earth. We know from experience that it's an excellent vodka substitute in bloody marys.

Algeria – Etzai 

Mint tea in Algeria is no joke. It's prepared in a multi-step process, poured from a height of several feet and served very sweet. Algerians traditionally offer tea to visitors, so if you're thirsty start knocking on some doors.

Cameroon  – Matango

Palm wine — or "matango" as it's sometimes known in Cameroon — is a sweet, boozy beverage made from palm sap. The amazing thing is that immediately after collecting it from a palm tree, the sap begins fermenting on its own, and can reach about 4% alcohol content within an hour.

Ghana  – Akpeteshie

Akepeteshie is very similar to matango, except after the sap is fermented in a barrel, that barrel is fitted with a piece of copper tubing and set on fire. The resulting distillate is roughly 50% alcohol. The name means "they are hiding," and refers to the time during British colonial rule when home brewing was outlawed but still carried out in secret.

Ivory Coast – Bangui

We tried to warn you about the palm sap thing. Bangui is just the Ivorian word for their local palm wine which, to the best of our limited knowledge, is not much different from matango.

Nigeria  – Alomo Bitters

Despite being brewed in Ghana, the sales of Alomo bitters have skyrocketed in Nigeria in recent years. Nigerians often mix it with non-alcoholic beer, which you'd think would defeat the purpose, except that people drink Alomo less as an intoxicant and more as an aphrodisiac.

Costa Rica – Guaro

Guaro is a sugarcane based liquor that is lighter and sweeter than rum or cachaca. In some parts of Central America the term has the same connotation as aguardiente, which is more of a catch-all term for booze. The Costa Rican government nationalized production of guaro to keep people from making it at home and it's since become the best-selling spirit in the country.

Honduras – Guifiti

Guifiti is like Alomo bitters' older brother that had to be sent away to military school. The drink usually starts with a rum base, to which various roots, herbs, spices and garlic are added and left to steep for several weeks. In addition to promising a higher libido, guifiti makes any number of outrageous health claims like the ability to cure cramps, stabilize blood pressure and repel mosquitos.

Mexico – Tequila

Few drinks are more closely associated with Mexico than this descendant of mezcal. A popular myth holds that tequila is a stimulant, unlike most other spirits which are depressants. This is absolutely false, and probably will not help you out of your DWI. Although the World Cup will be over, National Tequila Day is July 24th and you should remember to celebrate.

United States – Bourbon

Apple pie, baseball and greed might be staples of American culture, but bourbon represents us at our best. The spirit, made primarily from corn, is closely associated with Kentucky, and like scotch, can command high prices for small batch brands of repute. One of the rarest bourbons, Pappy Van Winkle 23-year, can easily fetch thousands of dollars.

Argentina – Torrontes

The export market for Argentine wines is getting bigger every year, and a huge part of that is Torrontes: a grape variety grown almost exclusively in this Latin American country. Generally they're grown at high elevation in sandy soil and tend not to be aged very long to preserve their sweet, fruity flavor.

Brazil – Cachaça

Similar to rum though made from sugarcane juice rather than molasses, cachaca (pronounced ka-sha-sah) is the most popular spirit in Brazil and is often homebrewed. It's also the main ingredient of Brazil's national cocktail, the caipirinha.

Chile – Piscola

Piscola — also known as Combinado Nacional, or "national mix" — is a mixture of a local form of brandy called pisco with cola, hence the name. Think of it as a grape-y Cuba Libre, minus the lime.

Colombia – Coffee

Yes, Colombians drink booze, but they're best known for their coffee, which is considered some of the best in the world and is one of their key exports. Their National Federation of Coffee Growers has been in business for over 80 years and represents upwards of 500,000 independent producers.

Ecuador – Chicha

The strangest of the bunch. Chicha can be made from corn, cassava, manioc root or any number of fruits. It can be fermented or unfermented. But what distinguishes it from all other swill is the means of production. In some areas, in order to break the starches of the base ingredients down into sugar, a chicha maker will first grind it up and put it in their mouths to let their saliva do the work. Chicha: comes from you, goes in you!

Uruguay – Maté

Mate is like tea, except brewed with dried yerba mate leaves — so it's loaded with caffeine — and ingested from a hollow gourd through a metal straw. Your liver will be glad that it's not alcoholic, but drinking this infusion hot is most likely carcinogenic.

Belgium – Kriek

Kriek is a type of lambic that's fermented along with sour Morello cherries and it tastes sort of like Christmas. But what's lambic, you ask? Unlike most beers which use specific types of yeast to attain their characteristics, lambic is a total crapshoot: it's simply exposed to the wild yeast and bacteria endemic to Brussels' Zenne valley.

Bosnia and Herzegovina – Boza

Boza is booze, but just barely. Usually it's made from wheat or millet and has a smooth, milky texture, like cream of wheat if it got you drunk very, very slowly. Maybe that's for the best though, since boza has a history of being mixed with opium.

Croatia – Rakija

A type of grape brandy, rakija is the most consumed spirit in Croatia, but it's almost exclusively homemade. As a result, various regions all have their own rakija additives such as anise, myrtus or even nuts. The name itself has its roots in the word for sweat drops, which roughly describes the distillation process.

England – Gin

A descendent of jenever, gin is flavored with juniper, which gives it its distinct, love-it-or-hate-it piney taste. It's also closely associated with England, which is strange because gin — even the "London dry" variety, which is rarely made in London — is a transplant from the Netherlands, as a result of William of Orange occupying the British throne.

France – Champagne

Champagne (the drink) only comes from Champagne (the region in France) and is made from pinot noir, pinot meunier and white chardonnay grapes, probably because no one thought to name a strain of grape Champagne. Fun fact: the art of opening a bottle of Champagne with a sword is called sabrage and its origins can be traced to Napoleon's armies who were alleged to use the phrase: "Champagne! In victory one deserves it; in defeat one needs it."

Germany – Beer

With its Oktoberfests and love of pilsners, Germany takes the distinction of "country most popularly associated with beer," despite being only the third-highest consumer of the stuff per capita (behind the Czech Republic and Austria). But the Germans are obsessed with beer, passing laws regarding beer purity as far back as 1487 and inventing various drinkware designed to best enjoy specific types of beer. Although overall consumption has dropped in recent years, Germany is enjoying a burgeoning craft beer industry.

Greece – Ouzo

Ouzo is an anise-flavored spirit said to be developed by 14th century monks living around Mount Athos. While it can be drunk straight, it's traditionally mixed with water, which changes the color from clear to milky white as a result of louching (or the "ouzo effect"). Anise oil is extremely hydrophobic, and white is the color of its fear.

Italy – Grappa

Although Italy has given the world many boozy concoctions — from fernet branca and campari to limoncello and amaretto — none pack quite the punch of the grappa, the flavor of which is akin to jet fuel. Grappa is the result of distilling pomace (the skins, pulp, seeds and stems left over from winemaking) and is between 70 and 120 proof. It'll put hair on your chest, or, if improperly manufactured, make you go blind due to the methanol produced by distilling the stems and seeds.

Netherlands – Jenever

As mentioned above, jenever is ancestor of gin, but it's still enjoyed in the Netherlands and Belgium today. Although the date of its creation is uncertain, its origins derive from a distillation of malt wine, subsequently mixed with herbs in order to disguise how bad it tasted on its own. Juniper was added because of its medicinal ability to ward off the plague, among other bold claims.

Portugal – Port

Hailing from the Douro Valley of Portugal, port is a sweet, fortified dessert wine. The name itself comes from the city of Porto at the mouth of the Douro river, where much of the wine was exported from. Douro also holds the distinction of being the third-oldest protected wine region in the world. The second-oldest is Chianti, but that's most associated with Hannibal Lecter, so we think port got the better deal.

Russia – Vodka

Russia is the fourth-drinkingest country in the world per capita and, to the surprise of absolut-ly (sorry) no one, the highest consumer of vodka. Made from potatoes or grains, vodka was — like many spirits — initially sold as a medicine, and to this day Russia and Poland both claim to be the drink's country of origin. Popular myth holds that Dmitri Mendeleev, who's best known for formulating the periodic table of elements, is responsible for vodka's strength typically being 80 proof. Documentation of this is murky at best, but keeping detailed records is the last thing on anyone's mind after a long night of "vodka testing."

Spain – Sangria

Everyone has their own recipe for sangria but the basic expression is red wine with chopped fruit, spices and some brandy. The word sangria literally means "bleeding" or "bloodletting" as a result of its color and fittingly so, since the introduction of vineyards to Spain was the result of Roman conquest of the Iberian Peninsula, beginning in 218 BCE.

Switzerland – Absinthe

The Green Fairy has to be one of the most misunderstood boozes of all time, one which, after its birth in Canton of Neuchâtel became immensely popular among French artists for its alleged hallucinogenic properties (which have since been summarily disproven). However, it's since been discovered that some of the herbs and spices in the wormwood-flavored spirit exhibit mild stimulant properties, which in conjunction with alcohol, make absinthe the 4 Loko of its day.