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"Goatse appearing on CNN/YouTube Debates" story IS A HOAX

youtube.com — This "detales" guy keeps submitting hoax stories from his website "beginnorth.com", and some make the front page. Furthermore, with the new commenting system, all comments that describe the story as a hoax aren't easily visible. Not everyone has enough time to read all the comments of every story... We need a new "BURY as HOAX" function!!!

Bury
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  • Shinig4mi, on 11/06/2007, -11/+173Furthermore, it appears as though the comments that describe the story as a hoax are being buried by someone... On the long run, this could affect Digg's credibility.... Maybe the list of users that bury/digg a specific comment should be visible too...

    • FyreGoddess, on 11/01/2007, -5/+62Bury as Inaccurate works to indicate that it's not accurate. Hoax is too strong a word in this particular case, IMO. Bury as Inaccurate marks it as such without removing it from the queue.
      • NinjaBoy, on 11/01/2007, -1/+16I've seen several stories that everyone was commenting that it was fake and that they were marking it as inaccurate yet the story never seemed to gets marked as such on the front page. I think digg might want to tweak the algorithm a little bit.
    • usacomp2k3, on 11/01/2007, -14/+2Agreed. Much in need of the ability to see who is burying comments as well as articles.
      • sarge96, on 11/01/2007, -0/+8No, I like to be anonymous when I digg you down
    • hansonc, on 11/01/2007, -4/+83Digg has credibility? With who?
      • NinjaBoy, on 11/01/2007, -10/+24With people who consider wikipedia to be 100% the truth.
      • JAVandiver, on 10/10/2007, -21/+6Liberals.
    • birkoph, on 10/10/2007, -13/+5"detales" guy 1 Digg 0. Digg got owned.

      Digg on zombies digg on.

      LOL
    • mmazing, on 10/10/2007, -11/+1THIS story is a hoax!
    • Undiculous, on 11/01/2007, -3/+30"Maybe the list of users that bury/digg a specific comment should be visible too..."

      ***** that! I deserve the right to anonymously remain a voice of reason and sensibility out of the darkness, unknown to all, expressing my strong, correct, and often belligerent views to the masses, regardless of their background, intelligence, or level of interest. No thanks, jackass, but I'd rather remain anonymous.

      -Steven Johnson
      (720)285-9157
    • robwilkens, on 11/01/2007, -7/+21When digg users digg that if you spend $1.04 Canadian you get $1 US means that Canadian money is obviously worth more, there is really no credibility to be found. People here are moronic. Don't get me wrong, I realize the 'generation' of users here grew up with computers and calculators very handy, and didn't have to learn real math, but i'm embarassed to be spending time on the same 'interwebs' as they are.
      • Sparkster185, on 11/01/2007, -8/+6You can go create your own and spend time there.
        • robwilkens, on 11/01/2007, -9/+5I'm betting I was here first. I've been on the 'interwebs' since 1992 (back when you were just a gleam in your father's eye), and online even longer ago than that. Used to be a great place, now it's just a joke. If I created my own, it would only be a matter of time before the idiot parade found that one too. I don't have the time to admin an 'interweb' so I"d never be able to kick out the morons, and if I did kick them out, those entitled pansies would probably take me to court for discrimination and I'd have tons of legal fees to deal with. I am certified in Microsoft and Novell and Linux networking technologies as well as programming languages like PHP, and I have a computer science degree, so I would otherwise be able to create my own 'interweb' very easily.
          • SAOSiN, on 11/01/2007, -2/+3You don't have to be a asshole either.
          • Koldkompress, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Hahahaha. What about low level protocol support? The hardware connecting the networks? Setting up the DNS, assigning IP addresses from the DNS, routing the provider to the DNS as well.. oh God.. just because you're certified in networking technologies, that means you're certified to go make a network, not "Set up an internet". You just discredit yourself..
          • robwilkens, on 11/01/2007, -2/+1Koldkompress: I've worked on BIND Source Code for a real UNIX (BIND = Berkeley Internet Name Daemon = DNS), not some knock-off Linux-based system. DNS couldn't be any more trivially simple than it is, yes, I'd have to reference documentation nowadays to edit a zone file, etc., but that's really all it is, referencing documentation. I've worked with DHCP and DNS (this was early 1990s). The idea that IT people get paid more than minimum wage astounds me. Yes, I can be an asshole, SAOSiN but it's only because I've found I have more fun that way.
  • w33tz, on 11/01/2007, -50/+7Goatse for president!!!!
  • w33tz, on 11/01/2007, -55/+13"Goatse is the cause of global warming" - Al Gore
  • cizzymac, on 11/01/2007, -1/+120Admittedly, if it were not for the comments of some digg users putting up links to the original video, I would have believed it.

    Thanks for helping to get the ***** out of my internets!
    • chris9902, on 11/01/2007, -3/+29I will inform the Internet Admin to delete it.
  • mikelieman, on 11/01/2007, -5/+89It would have been so cool watching CNN broadcast a denial.

    FIRST they would have to explain WTF goatse is! That would have been worth the price of admission all by itself!

  • blast0x, on 11/01/2007, -6/+40no *****...my ***** cat could have mspainted that "screenshot"
  • Paktu, on 11/01/2007, -3/+284"We need a new "BURY as HOAX" function!!!"

    Or you could just use "bury as inaccurate" like the rest of us.
    • UtahApocalyse, on 10/10/2007, -10/+3Amen!
    • Shinig4mi, on 10/10/2007, -10/+3If the "bury as inaccurate" function is not modified to prevent news like this from appearing on the front page (and in the top 10, furthermore), we need another category, be it BURY as HOAX or BURY as FAKE. The few users that actually bury stories as inaccurate cannot counter the sheer number of diggs of users that don't check the reliability of the story. Maybe one "bury" should be able to counter more than one digg? I don't know... I'll let Kevin and the other Digg guys figure this out... so far they have done a pretty good job, and I only wanted to point out this problem that I believe should be analyzed (plus, obviously, let everyone know that the story is fake).
      • robbh66, on 11/01/2007, -0/+6How again would those other options help? If one was more powerful than another people would just use that instead of buried as inaccurate.
      • bluenullity, on 11/01/2007, -0/+4BURY on HOAX would just make it easier for the many types of Bury Brigades to do their thing... bury.

        Then again maybe thats a good thing with all the crazy conspiracy nuts and their submissions.
      • Nin10dude, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2How is something being inaccurate any different from being fake, or a hoax?
    • mythicflux, on 10/10/2007, -7/+3Nah that'll never work, it's easier to just complain.
    • argonaut99, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Agreed, don't need a hoax option, but for a long time I've wanted a bury function specific to the title or description on Digg. There are plenty of articles or links that are honestly interesting or informative, but the dumb$sh*t that puts it on Digg gives a horrible misleading title or bogus description. I hate burying something as "inaccurate" when in fact there is nothing wrong with the link itself.
  • Eichenator, on 10/10/2007, -17/+4All your Goatse are belong to us
  • dancantone, on 10/10/2007, -19/+6Whaaaaa....What is Goatse??

    I should Google this and see!

    "snickers"
  • cmgarcia, on 10/10/2007, -17/+2Buried as hoax.

    Jk.
  • Xerokai, on 10/10/2007, -10/+22I totally agree. Most of these hoax stories are getting too much attention because at most we can flag them as "inaccurate".
    • UtahApocalyse, on 10/10/2007, -4/+12Ummm That should work just fine.
    • Nothlit, on 10/10/2007, -0/+47I remember when you used to see something like "Digg readers have indicated that this story may be inaccurate" at the top of the page in big red letters if enough people buried it for that reason. I haven't seen that in a long time...did they remove it, or are people just not burying stories anymore?
      • iDiggIt42, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7It's still there every once and awhile.
      • omarciddo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10I saw one yesterday, but it was the first in a good few months for me.
      • NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9I think it works based on percentages. So after it gets front paged so many people digg the story without reading it or to read it later and it become next to impossible to get marked.
      • tobymikle, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0Why not have the digg count be more valuable for people who spend the most time on an article, i.e. a readers vote is worth more than a glance...?
        • Sparkster185, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1I've read the algorithm does work that way, at least for what makes the front page. It was on the front page a week or so ago.
  • aztuscani, on 10/10/2007, -7/+1ya its so easy to believe that they wouldn't have prescreened the videos in the first place to allow something like that to pass through.
  • salomejones, on 10/10/2007, -6/+62Yes indeed, the new commenting system is absolute *****. Digg is run by six baboons and a confused wombat.
    • Jones82, on 10/10/2007, -1/+39That's ridiculous. The wombat quit several months ago
    • NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -4/+9I don't really understand why everyone hates it so much. Does that one little line really ***** you guys off that bad?
      • Sparkster185, on 10/10/2007, -6/+6It's the new fad on Digg... you know, to hate the comment system. Everyone's doing it man.
      • celkin, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I clicked 'View 2 replies to this comment' and only got one. THAT ***** me off, but not as bad as when it's blank.
        Also, I press Enter one time, and there's a huge gap. WTF?
    • Pixelpaws, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1I'm new, so enlighten me... what changed? What's the new commenting system that keeps getting complained about and how does it differ from the old one?
  • Lasereth, on 10/10/2007, -1/+53Go to your profile at the top of the page, scroll to the CNN story and undigg it. Undigging FTW
  • somegeologist, on 10/10/2007, -13/+3How do we know THIS post is not a hoax. Show us your badge.
  • dancantone, on 10/10/2007, -17/+2WHAT LAMER HAS 20 ACCOUNTS TO DIGG DOWN EVEN BENIGN COMMENTS??
    • omarciddo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+24Breathe. It's gonna be ok.
    • robbh66, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3probably the same type of lamer that has 20 accounts to digg up his benign comments.
  • 4degrees, on 10/10/2007, -13/+5there is a "bury as hoax" option.. its the "ok, this is lame" option. know it, use it, love it.
  • mongrel, on 10/10/2007, -2/+40Bring back open comments!!! It's no fun to post anymore when it's likely 98% of readers won't see it!
    • omarciddo, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2It's this or comment abuse again. I don't know which to pick.
      • newsheatdotcom, on 10/10/2007, -2/+6Comment abuse was more pleasing on the eye. At least you could just scroll down to the second post. This new system has so many nested levels and so much blue on the screen it hurts my eyes. Maybe if they got rid of the box that surrounds replies and the big blue "Hide X replies" bar.
      • cam2009, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4There is still comment abuse, now it's just in reverse. People are making new comments and putting @username instead of replying so they don't get buried. They should use comment system in the Podcast section (http://digg.com/podcasts/Diggnation/534675), that's the best of both worlds and I have no idea why they haven't switched to it. I used to enjoy scrolling down the page and reading comments, now it's just a messy chore. I know they're trying to help, but it ended up not helping anything and creating more problems. They already have a solution in the Podcast section, they need to step up and fix this.
    • groupofone, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Why not just set your global preference for comments to auto-expand (access via your profile)... sure, you have to be logged in, but that is required to comment anyway.
    • celkin, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0My favorite comment system is the one on Wired--unmoderated, unthreaded, and uncensored. Whoo!
  • vbsurfer, on 10/10/2007, -7/+17Uh. Most of the stories making it on the front page are either ***** or non-creditable. Yet people still digg it and comment like a bunch of morons who complain how ***** the US government yet...

    ***** retarded.
  • Cerialthriller, on 10/10/2007, -8/+8haha, but thanks to that article for letting me Goatse some people, i was able to get my mom, fiance, brother, and my brothers girlfriend when they asked "what is goatse" Ah, needless to say my blackberry has been getting bombed with a lot of hate emails from friends and family as its spreading quickly in my world full of net noobs!
    • orangebluedevil, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15you sent goatse to your mom? woah dude
      • Cerialthriller, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2it was to get her back for setting hotmale.com as my start page a few years ago
      • mtrip, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1You want revenge. Meatspin.
  • edenseager, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1owwwwwwwwwwwwww:(
  • weegee, on 10/10/2007, -8/+6From Detales' blog site: "DETALES is a new blog that is part artistic experiment and part haven for the surreal side of our world. There will be articles, fake and real, but the glue that holds the blog together are the detales that make it up.

    A “detale” is simply a bizarre twist on reality. It can be a story or a picture. Fake or real. Funny or scary. Anything.

    I am also taking submissions for ideas for stories, pictures, articles, etc. So send your detales ideas to:

    inoverthe@gmail.com"
    • anyquestions, on 10/10/2007, -4/+14that's *****. this is not an "art experiment." he is deliberately submitting FAKE news stories with the intention of generating ad revenue. same with the made-up "Hillary Clinton walked out on SiCKO" story, which was submitted by the same user. if it isn't obvious to you that this is meant to drive in more hits and ad revenue then you're an absolute ***** moron.
      • weegee, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1you're an absolute ***** moron for failing to recognize I made an objective comment. All I did was quote what the guy had to write as his "disclaimer" on his blog. I don't agree that his articles are art experiments, on the contrary I think detales should be IP banned from digg. I guess you're too used to having partial media shoved up your ass that you cynicism expects that every quotation be a marker of concurrence with said statement.
    • psychoguy817, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1He's the new Stephen Glass.
  • timbo83251, on 10/10/2007, -4/+13i wish it was true...

    what if you found out your dad was goatse man??
    • Jones82, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16That would be an awkward career day
    • Cerialthriller, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1it would have the same shock value as the first time you saw Episode 6 and heard the "Luke, I am your father" line
      • shealer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Nah, the real shock value would be in Episode 5 when he said that. After all, not much of a shock in Episode 6 when we knew 3 years earlier;
      • cjswerve, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Star Wars and goatse in the same set of comments, this is a weird world.
  • nixfu, on 10/10/2007, -14/+13

    HAHA.... The DIGG experiment EXPOSED AS TOTAL FRAUD it is. The "masses" are showing themselves worse than any editor at picking good stories.


    • dezertrat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8yep.. i just buried it and its still getting more diggs :(
      • notebuk91, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2This is really one of the best examples of how "easy" a hoax can be.
  • bffoley, on 10/10/2007, -9/+5Can we get "No *****" added to the Bury menu?
  • 2shae, on 10/10/2007, -10/+5Who Or what The Hell Is A Goatse ???
    • shillbert, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6"a man distending his anal lining with his two hands while providing a very clear image of his erect penis"
    • CheshireCat, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0haha oh wow.
    • Scyth3, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Welcome to the internet. I'll be the first of many to laugh at you.
    • cjswerve, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11Check out meatspin.com for a full explanation of goatse. Have a nice day!
    • habbofresh, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1"Guy Opens Asshole To Show Everyone" Google is your friend. ... or is it?
  • kmpr326, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2Who cares? That last story was funny as hell regardless. The digg users comments were even better. I know I cracked up in the middle of "working" looking at it.
  • kaeves, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17So I decided to check the recently crated Digg Comment Statistics for user detales who posts these false stories... Can anybody guess what I found?
    Diggers hate him. A lot. He has never had a positive rating on a comment he made.
    One classic example is this one: "Well, if you don't believe this story then perhaps you'll believe THIS ONE!!!!!! http://beginnorth.com/blog/?p=64 ... OR THIS ONE! http://beginnorth.com/blog/?p=54 OR MAYBE EVEN THIS ONE!!! http://beginnorth.com/blog/?p=18 Still don't believe me? Damn..."

    The gig is up, detales.
    http://www.neaveru.com/digg/index.html
  • slim_nick, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3Hoax, yes. Clever Prank, yes.
    • anyquestions, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1there's nothing clever about posting fake news stories that would have obviously been dugg up if they were real with the intention of generating ad revenue.

      do you really think it was a clever prank?
      what if i come up with some headlines that will drive in hits if you were to post them on your blog and pretend it was real news?

      "PRESIDENT BUSH VOWS TO REMAIN IN POWER AFTER END OF TERM"
      "OBAMA'S HOUSE VANDALIZED"
      "REPUBLICANS PLAN TO OUTLAW FLAVORED CONDOMS"
      "CLINTON RETIRES FROM RACE BECAUSE SHE DOESNT FEEL SHE CAN MAKE IT AS A WOMAN"
      "JOHN MCCAIN ARRESTED ON COCAINE CHARGES"


      wow im so clever.. maybe i should also start one of these "art experiments" and start posting fake news
      • randf, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1get off your high horse. everything in the world around you including radio, magazine, tv, music, etc is about generating ad revenue. i suppose you believe all those retarded outrageous things olber-dork has to say on his "news story" program are true and NOT said with the intention of generating ad revenue?
  • Rabbittt, on 10/10/2007, -7/+1I thought the joke/hoax was a riot!
  • HeatVision, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15How about everyone that's digging this article go and digg down the original as inaccurate?
  • neodorian, on 10/10/2007, -5/+1I thought ***** when they said it was a 1/24 of a second frame. Unless this was in 24p that's not very likely. It would have been 1/30th. That detail aside, you wouldn't have seen it if it had been 1/24 or 1/30 second frame. Certainly not so that candidates would have visibly reacted to it like this story said.

    Still, it was an ok prank. Would have been funnier if it was real.
  • harksaw, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Now, I bury that stuff as Inaccurate. And I'm hoping a lot of people in this thread do, too. So why is it that that crap can still get to #1 ?

    Maybe we need to reduce the number of buries needed before the footnote "This has been reported as inaccurate" appears next to the article.
  • anyquestions, on 10/10/2007, -9/+3there's nothing clever about posting fake news stories that would have obviously been dugg up if they were real with the intention of generating ad revenue.


    do you really think it was a clever prank?

    what if i come up with some headlines that will drive in hits if you were to post them on your blog and pretend it was real news?


    "PRESIDENT BUSH VOWS TO REMAIN IN POWER AFTER END OF TERM"

    "REPUBLICANS PLAN TO OUTLAW FLAVORED CONDOMS"

    "OBAMA'S HOUSE VANDALIZED, LAWN GNOMES STOLEN"


    "CLINTON RETIRES FROM RACE BECAUSE SHE DOESNT FEEL SHE CAN MAKE IT AS A WOMAN"

    "JOHN MCCAIN ARRESTED ON COCAINE CHARGES"


    wow im so clever.. maybe i should also start one of these "art experiments" and start posting fake news.. hell maybe we should all do that... thats gonna make this ***** even more awesome
  • Shinig4mi, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3LOL, guys, don't go Digg-bashing, even editors screw up. I posted this story as fast as possible, but with Google News I spotted already a couple of sites that got fooled:
    http://wonkette.com/politics/dept'-of-the-internet-wins-again!/goatse-picture-shown-in-debate-nation-collapses-281874.php
    http://www.kxmc.com/News/Nation/146516.asp -> KXMC-TV, channel 13, is the CBS affiliate for Minot, North Dakota

    Anyone find more?

    =P
  • jamima69z, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8this site is going straight down the *****.
  • anyquestions, on 10/10/2007, -18/+3HOW TO PLAY PING PONG
    There are basically two things to watch out for in playing ping pong:

    1. Where is the ball 2. Where are you On "where is the ball", you should watch: 1.1 Where does it hit your side of the table 1.2 How is it hit by the other guy(direction? speed? spin?) 1.3 Where does it hit the other side of the table in serving On "where you are": 2.1 Have you respond to the change of the ball's trajectory by your opponent? 2.2 Do you know precisely where you are when you hit the ball? 2.3 Are you responding accordingly to the ball's spin? How do you do all that? * Take snap shot with your eyes each time ball bounces or is hit * Move you body each time too, to prepare for the on-coming ball * Touch the ground every time with your foot before you strike the ball, so you know precisely where you are. * Swing the racket in the same or opposite direction of the spin, for anything else means loss of control. The opposite direction is safer since you would be going in the same direction of the outgoing ball, so you would have more interaction time. Furthermore, you are guarrantteed to rub the ball, rather than letting the ball slip on the racket, so you would be redirecting and controlling the spin of the outgoing ball.

    Finally, it's always easy said, then done. Although ping pong can be played in any way you want, but if you want to play the way described above and be as good as you could, you should try to pick up as many as you can the ten skills described below. These ten skills are presented in the forms of ten lessons here.

    But before we start, you, or your coach or parent, should decide whether you should hold the paddle shakehand or penholder and the kind rubber sheet to cover the paddle. If penholder, be sure just to hold it as if you are writing with the paddle -- like a pen, that is.

    You should always remember to use chiefly your brain, eyes and legs to play, rather than the hand and arm. Let the hand and arm take care of themselves. Most any-way-you-want players suffer from a crippling weakness of not seeing the ball and not responding to it because they are distracted by too much concentration on using hand and arm to strike the ball.

    In the following descriptions, unless otherwise specified, you should hit the ball flat or with little natural top spin, which is achieved by rubbing the oncoming ball with a upward motion of the paddle.

    Lesson One
    HOW TO STRIKE THE BALL

    Two, not one, motions are involved in striking a ball. You should start with a "receiving" backward swing first, then the "sending-off" forward swing. The receiving swing should be the reverse identical of the sending-off swing. The receiving swing serves as an aiming mechanism. It's the skill you would really need to learn to become steady at hitting the ball back.

    This skill, however, is the first but the least important. It is presented first because it is the minimum skill you should learn, especially for those any-way-you-want players. For those who want to be continually improving in their ping pong career, please consider this skill as a potential cause of distraction. It's those skills that involve the eyes and the legs are where you should always keep your mind on.

    In this lesson, you should try to hit with your partner 100 times without miss on both the right- and left-hand sides. Keep on slowing the ball down until you can make the 100. In this and future practices, the best attitude to take is that when one player misses the ball, it is because the other player fails to send over a easy enough a ball to hit. Also, in all future sparring practice(excluding serve and serve return), any time the shot is missed before 30 exchanges should be considered as practicing to MISS.

    Lesson Two
    HOW TO WATCH THE BALL

    Say out loud, "ping", when the ball bounces on your side of the table and "pong" when it touches your paddle. Do this on both the right and left sides until you reach 100.

    Lesson Three
    HOW TO JUMP WITH THE BALL

    Jump when the ball bounce on your side of the table. Go down to kick the floor and then bounce up exactly the same as the ball. Do 100 on both sides for the combined skills 1 and 2.

    Lesson Four
    HOW TO RESPOND TO THE ONCOMING BALL

    Jump at the moment the other player hit the ball. Get ready and jump at exactly the moment the other player's paddle touches the ball. Do 100, for the combined skills number 1, 2 and 3.

    Lesson Five
    HOW TO JUMP IN RETURNING SERVE

    In returning a serve, jump at the moment the ball bounces on the other side of the table. Notice you need two quick hops now to respond to what happens on the other side of the table. This is the one of the two reasons why returning the serve is the most difficult skill in ping pong. The other one is to be described in Lesson Nine. But if the two-hop motion is too tough, just jump on the ball's bounce on the table.

    Pratice until time runs out. This is the practice and attitude that you should take toward serving and its returning. If you want to be good, practice serving and returning until either time or patience runs out.

    Lesson Six
    HOW TO TOPSPIN THE BALL

    Simply move your paddle downward in the same, but reverse, way how you are planning to move it upward to strike the ball, so you will be rubbing the ball in an upward motion at contact.

    Do a 100, with one player still hit the ball flat, then alternate. Finally try to both do it, to a 100, but take it ease.

    Lesson Seven
    HOW TO CHOP THE BALL

    This is the reverse of the topspin shot. Your paddle goes up first, then down. But notice the ball in this case floats further out and lands slower than a no spin shot. By the same physics, topspinned balls lands earlier on the table and strike the table harder. To accommodate the spin, you should try to wait longer and lift harder to return a chopped ball and, conversely, to be quick in getting close on top of the bounce and press down harder to return a topspin ball.

    Lesson Seven
    HOW TO SERVE A CHOPPED BALL

    You should go to the two extremes on this downward-swing serve. First, try to keep you paddle as horizontal as you can and hit the ball lightly to as close to the net as you can, while always keep the ball as low as possible. Next, try to keep the paddle vertical and hit the ball hard and to as close to the end of the table(farest from the net) as possible. Again practice until time runs out.

    It is impossible to overemphasis the importance of serve and its return. When your serve is carrying your game, you are on a win streak. Everything you do on the table is now aimed at the final put away. Paddy-caking rallies, however intense and arobatic they may appear, are for the birds. The serves become the nails for the coffin.

    Conversely, good returning of serve can stop the bleeding. But returning is so much harder to learn well than the serve. Further more it is difficult to find players with good serves to sacrifice himself and let you learn to disarm his most powerful weapon. Plead with your coach or dad to make this sacrifice.

    The quality of various serves span such a wide range, that certain killer serves to one level of players are setup-to-be-killed serves for higher-level players. It is suffice to end this lesson by describing three serves that may still hold no answer to the receiver. When your game seems to hit its limit, you should really dig down into these three serves, piling on top of them all the antiques you can muster, like double motion, hiding the way the ball is struck with your elbow and stump your foot to drown away the strikiing sound of the ball.

    The first, and the best, is a "crashing serve". This is the fastest serve you can manage to produce. Three criteria measure the effective of the serve:

    (1) You must be able to stay calm in serving this supposedly the most scary serve deliverable,
    (2) The contacting of the ball with the paddle and then the table should be so closely that it almost appears to be simultaneous, and
    (3) The angle of the paddle should either never be revealed or revealed at the very last split second. This skill is equivalent to the slip of the hand of a card-trick magician.

    The second is a "grinding" serve. This is done by grinding the ball into the table by swinging the paddle down on the ball so fast that you actually feel a backward kick. The objective is to throw off the other player's timing. Use it when you anticipate that the other player is going to attack your next serve.

    The third is a "floating" serve. This is done by strike ball horizontally in such a way that it become difficult for the other players to estimate the direction and speed of the ball. You almost have to appear as if even you yourself can not tell where the ball is going. But practicing long enough, you will, but not the other guy.

    Lesson Eight
    HOW TO SERVE SIDE- AND TOP-SPIN SERVES

    Swing the racket: sideways, upward or downward, horizontally and vertically, and you will get the corresponding spin in your serve. But it is all in the practice. Practice each until you feel your paddle actually "bited" into the ball. Trust me, you will!

    Lesson Nine
    HOW TO RETURN A SERVE

    This is very much the last skill you need, for you may never really get it in your life time. For even world class players, it seems most of them stop short at just hopping and jumping in sync with the served ball.

    But if you want to become better than world-class, you need learn how to attack the serve. To attack the serve, besides the hopping and jumping, you need to either "rub" the ball or "chase" the spin of the oncoming served ball aggresively. Rubbing means braking the spin by swinging into the ball in the opposite direction of the spin and then send it off in the same direction into which the ball is rolling off the paddle. This, however, should only be applied to side- and top-spin serves.

    To rub the ball, your stroke should move your paddle in the same direction, such as left to right, as the direction the server stroke. In so doing, you would not only "brake" the ball, but also following it out in the same direction. The braking gives you the control over the ball, while the following gives you longer contact time. Naturally, once you get used to do it, you would want to be aggresive in your return. Teeing off on a superspinny serve is really entirely possible, if you can rub it right.

    A word of caution is due here. When you first try this, you would find your reflex slows down considerably. This is because you are now using the slow-reacting brain, rather than the automatic reflex motor muscle. Luckily most of us ping pong players can still have a lot of fun without this strange skill.

    To chase the ball, you swing in the same direction as the spin. This is the only way you can attack a downspin, or chopped, ball. And you achieve this by move your paddle in the opposite way as the server. Be sure to hold the paddle lightly while you are doing it, for you need a lot of speed to chase pass the ball.

    Lesson Ten
    HOW TO PRACTICE

    Except for the anti-social, winning-is-the-only-thing players, most of us would probably follow an approach to ping pong that balance nicely between exercise and improvement. Here is how:

    1. Topspin practice(>100 uninterrupted exchanges):

    (1) Hit forehand to forehand(right to right)
    (2) Hit backhand to backhand
    (3) Hit forehand to backhand
    (4) Hit backhand to forehand
    (5) Do figure 8, one down the line, the other cross court
    (6) Reverse figure 8, the other way around
    (7) Randomly left or right

    2. Flat shot or blocking

    (1) One player topspins in random direction
    and the other block back close off the table and flat.
    (2) Switch

    3. Backspin

    (1) Do it randomly. Gradually try to move your legs more and your
    hands less to hide the direction of the outgoing ball.

    4. Serve, Serve and Serve

    (1) Buy a table or a serve practicing setup and practice on your own
    (2) Warmup before matches by letting each player serve the whole 21 points

    5. Return

    (1) Warmup like the serve.

    6. Handicap matches

    Except in tournaments, make all practice matches count by playing
    them based on the current handicaps. The game starts with the
    score equal to the difference in the handicap. If the difference
    is greater than 20, the lower-handicap player starts with negative
    points. And, after each game, this difference changes by one point
    depending on who wins. The weaker player always has the serve.
    Try to play until each player win at least once.

    The winner should report the final handicap standing, making the best
    judgement as to how the handicaps should be updated. In the next
    encounter, the players should start with the latest handicap standings.

    This silly handicap system is sure to turn off a lot of players out there.
    So why it's there in the first place? Well, this is one of the many
    attempts AAPPL would try to "glue" all ping pong players together.
    As unappetizing as this ritual may seems, if it should ever become a
    routine practice by all players, just imagine the potential number
    of visitors to our pingpongneters' website. We really could obtain a lot
    more support from public and private institutions, if we can should
    some numbers.

    As you become comfortable with the skills presented above, you should
    find youself able to generate power from your waist, initiated by
    a kicking-off on the floor. You should try to keep you body low by bending
    your legs an
  • AeroSquid, on 10/10/2007, -3/+5the new comments suck ass. old digg ftw new digg fail.
  • notebuk91, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2the goatse photo is the most shocking and obscene image i've ever seen in my life. I'm sure there are worse that show illegal activities. I am never bothered by images, but that photo made me really sick. My God if someone really managed to get this in front of the general public, all the morality preachers would decry the second coming of Christ tomorrow.
  • rotielover, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2We could simply add this guy to our collective ignore lists -- done and done.
  • oojamaflip2006, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Could I please suggest a 'Delete Comment' button?
    Sometimes I write stuff when I'm either a) angry, b) stoned, c) drunk or d) a combination of the above.
  • TheLD, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Everyone should still complain to CNN to see what kind of reaction we get.
  • Sunfightersix, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3Actually i see this hoax guy as a hero. As you see the story is number 1. It just goes to show just how much disinformation is on the internet and that supposed "internet movements" like support for ron paul is all smoke and mirrors.
  • PBMainiac3, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2burn him at the stake!
  • tearor, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Clintons Fault
    • joshbeech, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Now, now. That's not a good little digger. Remember that everyone is suposed to blame President Bush for everything. Didn;t you get the memo?
  • TubbyCat, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Wouldn't ya know it. The best thing on the internet is just another fake.
  • CptCheerios, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Was there not a previous hoax where it was stated that CNN had linked an image directly from the web, and the image was swapped to goatsce prior to it being aired so they goatsce'd the nation? I believe that was a hoax too.
    • isntreal, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2There was an graphic displayed on live tv for a contest to create the best olympics logo... it showed hands stretching one of the 0's in goatse fashion.
    • thedev, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1That was no hoax. CNN hotlinked an image on www.tribalwar.com during the immediate aftermath of 911. After repeated requests by Rayn the site admin to remove the hotlink, he replaced the original image with goatse. I forget how many unique hits CNN generated on that, but it was in the hundreds of thousands
  • MavRevMatt, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Digg is credible? When the hell did that happen?
  • haloddr, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2I buried the original story before this came out!
  • Cowtastic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Shenanigans! I'm calling shenanigans!
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